Ripon College - Crimson Yearbook (Ripon, WI)

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LANE LIBRARY RIPON COLLEGE Rioon, A Dedicated to the College of Ripon with its Friendly Spirit, Splendid Loyalties, and Faith in Time- Honored Ideals, impressed upon us amid Cherish- ed Friends and on a Campus Green with Pines » » The Class of 1935

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Dean J. ('. Graham A dean is likely to be regarded by students as a cross between the bogie of old nursery rhymes He'll get you if you don't watch out! and the medie- val devil. His symbol might well be the Gothic gargoyle grinning diaboli- cally from shadowy vantage points, his coat-of-arms the skids couchant and the vocabulary ramant. Above his of- fice door should be charactered Dante’s dread lines, Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.” His waiting room seems the shore of ancient Styx, and his sec- retary none less than Charon himself, fearful ferryman muttering a significant Next!” Yet in this mephitic citmosphere sits a poor human being thumbing roll-call lists, meditating on dinner, and trying not to grin as he muses upon the old disparity between the lure of calculus or history and parlor conquests, or the common human ineptiude for eight o'clocks. But what a place for getting acquainted with human nature! Ah, here conies number one a freshman girl looking as if she thought A Dean’s Day I'm. ah—flow, Mister S my the. about that matin of roll rail ... I ate them without salt! Rather too bad: probably not adjusted yet just a little pep-talk. Number two- oh, yes: Tom has been a regular caller now for three years. Roll call would never be the same with- out Tom! Me has developed the cal- losity of an academic rhino and a rep- ertoire of alibis that would do credit to a sailor caught ashore without leave. He should be parboiled and served with a touch of tobasco. Out he goes, grinning amiably, and leaving his tor- menter feeling a little inhuman. Charon appears in the door. “Here s the chap the police department called up about. He couldn’t pay his line and they hated to jail him: thought maybe you. ...” All right. Send him in. “Driving without a license, eh? What's the idea? Don’t you know yet !!!!!! etc.” ’’Well, you see. Dean, its an old Model T I bought from a fellow for $2.00 and gee whiz, I can’t pay a $10 license for a $2 crate! Then get rid of it.” 'I tried to. I wanted to give it hack to the fellow I bought it from, but he wouldn't take it.” And discipline dissolves in laughter. The morning mail, sir. Uinm-a batch of advertisements, three bills, and an endless question- naire: What percentage of your stu- dents had mumps before the age of four, and if not. why not? ... If you endorse Section A. Article 11. Sub-sec- tion 3b of our recent summary, kindly apply these findings to all of your blonde juniors who wear a 14£ collar. —10—