Ricker Classical Institute - Aquilo Yearbook (Houlton, ME)

Page 31 text:

ON BEING THE OLDER CHIILD I think I am experienced enough to write on this subject after having been the oldest child for fourteen years and the only child before that. I do not feel I am asking too much of you to read this account of my patient submission to fate. When I was three years old my mother was blessed with a baby boy. I adored him. l' was with him continually and did any- thing and everything to please him. Times have changed. The baby boy is now four- teen, and he definitely does help make my life unbearable. If only he had been a girl! When anything happens that shouldn't, such as my staying out too late or doing things without permission, my mother and father seldom punish me by hand. It is always by tongue that they make me suffer, and inevitably included in this tongue lash- ing is a phrase which will always be useful to them, as I am the older. That phrase is. Think of the example you're setting for Bernard! I hear that in my dreams and it's enough to make anybody reform-but I haven't. If my mother ever has another child, I hope he or she doesn't live by the examples my brother sets. That would be unbearable. Yet what he has learned, he has learned from me, so they tell me. Whenever Bernard does anything wrong, oh, no Bernard doesn't do wrong things. he wouldn't even think of those things if it weren't for me. If he goes out and shouldn't it's my fault, I should have made him stay in--yes, sure. With a ten-ton truck on top of him ls the only way he would stay inlf I told him not to go out. Sometimes life is just plain misery. Time marches on, but I'll be the older child forever! Joan Green l U l l THE AGE OF GULLIBILITY They say a woman can never keep a secret! Well, l'm afraid I'm not an exception to this rule. I no longer wish to go around feeling su-perior to my neighbor because l :possess some knowledge no other mortal possesses. It is selfish of me to keep it to myself and today I am inclined to be altru- istic, so I will tell all. Since I alone know my strange secret, I will play pedagogue and enlighten the earth, my pupil. What I am about to divulge may sound a bit fan- tastic, but I assure you every word I am writing is within the strict code of Truth. Undoubtedly, you have heard of the Solar System and of its nine planets. Sclence's misconception is. that there is no life on Saturn, one of its planets, because It lacks sufficient oxygen and other basic funda- mentals for organic matters. I know for a fact that Science is wrong! I have some very intimate friends on Saturn about whom I shall tell you shortly. First permit me to describe Saturn as it appeared on my recent visit. Saturn has a flrey, gassy mlmbus en- circling it. This is the way their god, Zoark, protects the Saturnites. Zoark is a. fero- cious monster resembling our prehistoric dinosaura, only Zoark, of course, is much larger. He exhales the fire in such a man- ner as to make a fort around Saturn thus preventing any unwanted visitors from approaching. Just inside around this mim- bus, the land is very barren and dry from the heat. The nucleus of Saturn, oh, that is a paradise! It is filled with various forms of growth. I might call It plant growth, but I hesitate to do so, because plants as we understand them differ tre- mendously from these growths. Large tree- like affairs are sprinkled generously about. These are very beautiful because Instead of leaves, they grow bewltchlng crystalline stalactites, which radiate color like a prism when striking the glowing mlmbus in the correct pose. Delicate waxy bush-like growths and majestic palaces add to the resplendency of the land. You can imagine my surprise at the first sight of the inhabitants of these edlfices! Although their general physiognomry re- sembled ours in many respects, still, I say, lt is the wierdest assembly of humanity I have ever witnessed! Their epideomis coloring is green! I have often heard people say that when one is sick or suffocating one turns green or blue, so I assumed the people here are green from lack of oxygen. Later I learned that the creatures here do not need exygen, as they beathe a special abundant compound called Petochloso- phyllism! The strangest part about these people is they have no vocal cords and hence, do not speak. They communicate

Page 30 text:

Father surprised me by giving 'me my first evening gown, rather I sfhould say I surprised father by giving him the bill and telling him it was his present to me. Father told me it was sweet that I should take such pains to ,pick out such an elabo- rate gift for him to give me, then he said I was getting more like mother every day. Motlher, however, insisted I was growing more like father. There I sat beaming at the both of them until Johnny, that smart aleck brother, had to spoil it by saying I took after my shylock uncle who was al- ways cooking up some big deals. Well anyhow, my best beau, Tommy, was coming at eight to take me to my first formal dance. It was quarter to eight and I was almost ready to put on my gown. I didn't want to put it on until the last min- ute. It was made of that fairy flimsy mat- erial, one of those wispy spider web crush- able affairs, and I wanted to keep itfresh looking for Tommy. When I bought it, the saleswoman hinted I needed size 13, but I stubbornly clung to a size 11. I thought it would make me look more slender, and I could manage to get in it provided I didn't breathe too deeply. I was so excited about putting on my dress that I forgot about not breathing and happened-my seams split! the inevitable Oh, I was so angry and disappointed that I didn't know if I wanted to kick, scream, cry, or do all at once. But mother, like an angel, came to the rescue. The way she mended it was a work of art! If you didn't know about it, you'd never know the dress had been torn. Eight o'clock and Tommy with a corsage, my first corsage from a boy. I went to the living room to say good-bye to the family lwhat I really wen-t for, was to exhibit my- self and bask in their 'oh's' and 'ah's.'J Well, gosh, sis, Johnny said, you look swell. Who's your em'balmer? Naturallyl retaliated with the look of contemptuous scorn I had been practicing ever since I had seen the effect that such a look from Lana Turner had produced on Robert Taylor. The family boosted my ego though, they said I looked gorgeous. Daddy told Tommy to treat me like Cinderella and bring me home at twelve. Then thinking that was witty, daddy laughed at himself. Tommy, 28 being a polite boy, gave a reasonable fac- simile of a laugh. We drove to the dance in style. Tommy's father let him use the car that night. The dance was simply divine. I danced and danced, then I got so dizzy from whirl- ing I don't remember what happened ex- cept so many nice boys asked me to dance with them. I had such a wonderful time that I did- n't notice until I was home that my feet were killing me, because I bought such tiny shoes, just because they looked so dainty. Oh well, you're only sixteen once. Mary Ann Petrula 1 8 1 i LADIES' HEADWEAR As I was strolling down the street the other day with nothing useful to occupy my mind, I noticed a lady approaching me. I glanced casually at her and then my gaze was actually riveted on that woman's hat. It was a large round one of greenish hue with two little black birds sitting absurdly on the rim. That would have been bad enough, but there were yards of veiling all around the back of the hat. After I recovered myself, I started no- ticing other ,people's hats around me. One elderly lady was going down 'the street with a glomeration of feathers and veiling on her head. Really, it looked more like a big collection of feathers to me. They were bunched together in the back, quite neatly under the circumstances, but still it didn't look so nice to me because of the veiling. That was tied in a big bow in the back and also a large amount was placed so that it fell over her face in not very graceful folds. All around me were hats of all the colors in the rainbow. Blue, red, grey, black, brown, purple, and many other varieties. On these beautiful colors were placed flowers, feathers, birds, veiling, fruit, jew- elry and any number of silly and ornament- al do-dads. I myself believe in style, fashion and originality, but I do not believe in those silly, overburdened creations that some women wear to keep in style.

Page 32 text:

by a form of telepathy. This method, I suppose, could have been a great form of embarrassment to them, if they had ever known the conveniences of speech to con- ceal thoughts. On the whole though, tele- pathy seems just as natural to them as it appears unnatural to me. Now, I shall tell you about my friends who reside in the most impressive and scintillating palace in the land. Indeed, I had to wear dark glasses to protect my eyes from the glaring marble. First there is Queen Totara, the niece of Zoark. By our standards of beauty Totara would have been called grotesque, but by the Saturn- ite's criterion, she was considered quite a dainty fragment of feminity. One could tell the queen had borne much grief, by the swollen tear sacs under her eyes, and the xyelltowish tinge 'to her -complexion-this is their sign of anemia, lack of chloro- corpuscles, and a run down condition. Strangely enough, this did not detract from her beauty, but added to it. I was made happy when all these unhealthy signs were eradicated upon the joyous homecoming of her long-lost brother, the cause of her grief. Then there is King Durog, Totara's hus- band who is beloved by all his subjects. He treated me so royally that I almost re- fused to return to prosaic earth. Oh, there are many others, too numerous to mention and some of the unbelievable things we did, I shall never forget. Now, you, no doubt, are wondering a- bout my mode of transportation to Saturn, and how I was able to acclimate myself to the land. Although I hate to embarrass my brother so unmer-cifully, I feel I have no other alternative. I'm sure he'll understand. Having very peculiar features and a body which has merited him the nickname of Misfit, my brother has had to endure in- sulting comparisons between himself and many monsters, 'including Dracula and Frankenstein. At last, when he could no longer bear the torments, he revealed, by method of sign language as he is a mute, his true identity. Misfit was the nephew of Zoark, and the brother of Totara. As a child his mother had dropped him on his head to earth, whereupon, my mother, a very kindly soul, adopted him. Misfit had communicated with Zoark by telepathy and Zoark had sent a sutper-rocket-space ship to take him back to Saturn. By that time, Misfit and I had become fast friends, so he Invited me to come and visit his real family. I was a bit wary at first because I did not think I could exist ln such a foreign environment. Misfit as- sured me that his uncle had a special meth- od that would keep me quite safe and make my sojourn pleasant. Then I eagerly ac- cepted his invitation. Sure enough, when I arrived Zoark gave me--well, now, I prom- ised never to reveal that part of the secret. Mary Ann Petrula l l 1 I QUOTATIONS People, for some unextpllainable reason, like to repeat the sayings of some dead and nearly forgotten man in place of using their own brains to think of new ones. Why people quote these abominable sayings, which are usually dry and misleading. is something I cannot understand. Let us take two quotations which, I be- lieve, contradict each other. They are: Haste makes waste and, Make hay while the sun shines. Now, the first of these tells you to be deliberate in what you do while the other instructs you to waste no time in getting thingvs done. I'm looking at it this way, one or the other, must be wrong. You may take any selection that you want. Another proverb that I think Is -alright is: Never leave off till tomorrow what you can do today. I believe this is true be- cause a good many students leave off till tomorrow what they should have done to- day. You can find these students by look- ing on the D list. One which I totally disagree with is the one that says: Eat an apple a day and keep the doctor away. Now, that is abso- lutely silly. What doctor would tell you to eat an apple to keep him away? Besides l have eaten lots of apples and I still get sick. No, I don't think that saying is very truthful. But you could change it so it Would be by Saying, Eat an onion a day and keep everyone away. Another quotation that I don't think should be used is, Do unto others what you would have others do unto you. This is all very well for some people, but it is really silly for the most part. One state