Richmond Hill High School - Archway / Dome Yearbook (Richmond Hill, NY)

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The Truth, The Whole Truth, and...? On The morning OT March TweITTh as The blis- Tering summer sun poured in Through The win- dow oT The execuTive oTTices oT True Fibs Mag- azine ,a bizarre appariTion wiTh a Paderewski haircuT and an inane expressron poured in Through The door. The youTh, Tor iT was a youTh, glared Tran- Tically abouT unTiI he spied a busy individual wiTh a broom. Mr. EdiTor, he gushed, I have here a sTory which . . . Ah ain'T no ediTor, boss, inTerrupTed The negro proudly, Ah's de ianiTorI' Oh, I'm Terribly sorry, sTammered The youTh as his Tace goT Two shades redder Than WaITer Winchell's, BuT where is The ediTor? Ovah dere. Seeing The movemenT oT a head behind an immense sTack oT papers The inTruder bois- Terously approached The place unTiI he could re- gard The smiling ediTor. I-le Then calmly shoved piles oT manuscripTs To The Tloor and placed his own under The man's nose. I have a sTory which . . . Take iT To Miss Schnopslu roared The jovial oTFiciaI aImosT as loudly as a movie managing ediTor, I have no Time To wasTe on The drivel OT beginners. Oh yeah? counTered The youTh subTIy as he began To search Tor The aToremenTioned Miss Schnops. ATTer whaT seemed monThs oT rambling Trom corridor To corridor he discover-ed a door bear- ing The Tollowing legend: Belvedere N. Schnops No AdmiTance Walk in I-Ie enTered and conTronTecl a severe-Iook- ing young woman seaTed behind a desk. WeII? she inquired. I-l- he murmured awkwardly. ReaIIy? IT anyone buT you had Told me, I wouIdn'T have believed Them. Come, come, young man, unburden yourself. WeII, iT's This way, Schnoppy . . . I have here a sTory . . . I-Ie paused, prepared Tor The cusTomary inTerrupTion aT This poinT. . . . which you are going To buy, buT I wanT some- one To hear iT TirsT so ThaT There can be no reTracTions. M Young man, do noT wasTe my Time: iT's price- less. This magazine buys only masTerpieces,,so iT you haven'T someThing oT unusual meriT, do noT annoy me. I assure you ThaT you'II be way ahead if you hear my TaIe. A punsTer, eh? GeT ouT1 No, Miss Schnopsl I have here a chronicle oT human evenTs, a sTory so rnasTerTuI and over- powering ThaT I know I'm a genius. Please IeT me go on. The woman seTTIed back in her chair wiTh a gesTure oT resignaTion and waved her hand in consenT. My sTory is vasTIy diTTerenT Trom mosT, you know. IT opens in London, buT iT isn'T a dark, Toggy nighT on which anyThing mighT happen, and a IighT is noT dimly discerned in Trafalgar Square. Our hero, ConsTanTine Berry, is noT a young college spendThriTT, nor is he a gangsTer Trom The greaT middle class. I-le is merely an obscure and sTruggIing manuTacTurer oT purple gingham Thumb Tacks Tor leTT handed muTes. I-le hails Trom Idaho, DeTroiT, The birThpIace oT The heroine, Mary Samel. This lady is The daughTer oT MusTapha Samel, The noTed amaTeur back- gammon pro, and has neiTher raven Tresses nor ruby lips, aIThough To give her her due, she is Tair and square lTair hair, square headl. On The nighT our masTerpiece opens, Con Berry and Mary Samel were ceIebraTing Their TirsT anniversary wiTh several Thousand choice Triends and a Tew Tall glasses oT Burgundy grape Iurce.

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Page IO THE SENIOR DOME Tom? Why, Tom, whaT's The maTTer? You look like you've seen a ghosTI No-ThaT's iTI The Tower! and Tom Turned and ran ouT of The room. The deTecTive, be- wildered, followed him, and Mr. Smyfhe, affer a momenT's hesiTaTion, also followed. Tom, was, of course, The firsf To reach The Tower. The large door commanding The enfrance slammed iusT as he goT There and he Tried To open iT in vain. The deTecTive soon arrived and Tried To help him, buf iT looked as Though Their uniTed efforfs were To be of no avail. Suddenly a shriek rang ouT. Lemme ouTa here, and The door opened quickly as a very excifed person fairly Threw himself inTo Their arms. ThaT's The Thief, said Tom. Yeah, I hooked The necklace, I admif iT, I'll confess To everyfhing buT geT me ouTa here! Oufside our Two heroes were Talking Their advenfure over. Well, well, welI, murmured Sir Eddie, we cerTainIy had a good Time, The mosf I've had for a couple of cenfuries. lT's Things like ThaT ThaT make haunTing pleasanf. You know, when I was sTanding oufside of ThaT sTudy window Telling ThaT young fellow where The Thief was, I almosf resolved To seTTle down and be a good ghosf. IT I had'n'T been so bad when I lived, I'd be nice and peaceably playing a harp by now. Come now, Eddie, don'T be so downhearfed. We should look on The brighf side of life. WaiT Till I Tell you all The fun I had. WhaT did you do? l was sfanding ouTside The Tower door, and every Time ThaT Thief sTarTed To come ouT, I sTuck my head ouT and yelled BOO aT him. Then he sfarfed To climb ouT of The window, so I wenT around and scared him some more. I guess he ThoughT he'd be safer wiTh Those humans. I.eT's go and peek in The sTudy window again. So The ghosfs very unghosfly peeked Through The window. The scene There made Them beam upon each oTher in admirafion, for Mr. Smyfhe was acTually smiling aT The Two lovers, and The deTecTive was shaking Tom's hand and congraf- ulafing him. EveryThing had Turned ouT happily for The young couple. Ik wk at Somewhere, The Two ghosfs had been sum- moned before Eafe. Sir I-Ienry EverTon and Sir Edward EverTon, you have been summoned here upon a very serious maTTer, said The Voice solemnly. You are charged wiTh noT having done your duTy in haunfing EverTon Casfle. What have you To say for yourself? Silence reigned. The Voice confinued, Since you say nofhing I Take This as a sign of guilT. I Therefore senfence you To efernal happiness for your reward in hav- ing helped a human To gain his righfs. You are dismissed. Sir Edward broke The silence. Well, well, weIl, he murmured.

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