Richmond Hill High School - Archway / Dome Yearbook (Richmond Hill, NY)

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PageTen THE DOME Suddenly a tall, heavy ,set man with a waxed mustache entered. CThis, dear read- er, is the villain.j All stopped to stare at the burly intruder. ''Chavirorotantachachamipatarvetrobrula- patachatln he muttered brusquely, drawing a pistol and a watch. Receiving no answer, he fired 41 Qby ac- tual countj bullets thru lVIayonnaise's indi- gestion. Then, with a raucous laugh, the great brute Hung himself in a chair, shout- ing, Icey, garsung. Bay rum at la corbeille lieurieln Then the great detective got on the job. He adjusted his rnonocle Cmodern sleuths use them instead of the obsolete magnifying glassj, mounted the nearest chandelier, and began to examine the bulb for hngerprints. At last he found some. Aha!', he ex- claimed, rubbing them off, this may shed some light on the subject! Then he turned to the corpse. Carram- ba! he announced to the astonished spec- tators. She has been murdered. This may mean war between South America and Ice- landf' So saying, he entered it in his Eng- lish note-book as voluntary work. Neerbeer then obtained a promise from the murderer to send his name and address at his earliest convenience. Remember, said he, if you don't, I'll tell your mamma! With this terrible threat, which caused the villain to simper and whine, the valiant detective placed all the men with glass eyes or wooden legs under arrest, and ran swiftly away at the rate of sixty minutes per hour. In the street he stopped suddenly and srnote his forehead. Donnerblitzen!,' he shouted in Portuguese. I should have asked that gentleman why he took out his watch with his pistol! Finale. Comte Henri Jean Prosper Francois de Chiffoniere, murderer of Mayonnaise, sat reading his favorite newspaper, La MHfilZ66 Suiwmte, in his little room in a Paris pen- sion. Suddenly the door opened and Neer- beer, the fearless detective, entered. I arrest you, he exclaimed, for breach of promise. Why did you not send me your name and address? A thousand pardonslu snickered the Count. I was just writing a letter to you. See, here it is. And he handed the detect- ive a million ruble banknote. I see, said Neerbeer, bowing his way out. Pardon my error. I hope you will not resent my intrusion. If you ever Hy over my house, drop in, I beg you. Adieuf' Just a moment, said the Count, level- ing a pistol at our hero's head. f'Take off your disguise. Remonstrating, the detective obeyed, and wilt? Cas Ecke would sayb there stood, not Neerbeer, but lVIayonnaise herself. Drawing herself up proudly, she said, Henri, you shoot me all you want, but you can never force me to eat dill pickles with oyster patties. I hate you! CRepeat three times! I love the detectif from Ameriqueln Neerbeer, said the Count, removing a wig and false beard, Neerbeer, c'est moi. And, true enough, it was the intrepid sleuth himself! And what of the Count? Don't ask me. To this day it has not been found out what really became of him. Was it himself he shot? Or did he never was? We can only speculate. Circulation Every boy and girl Hearken to this call- Buy the DOIXIE! What is the DOME- A roof shaped like a ball? No, indeedg it is a book, Having jokes in every nook. Anna .D1lZC71lC7'LSk'i. The Clasxbaole If you're feeling mighty blue, Don't know what's wrong with you, The bets are ten to two Itls the Classbook! If your food's not acting right, And you don't sleep well at night, That's a sign you're in the fight Witli the Classbook. If you feel you'd like to die, But don't know the reason why, You will find out bye and bye 'Twas the Classbook. But do brace up, old dears, Try and dry your mournful tears, And disperse your groundless fears 'Bout the Classbook. Some bright thought will come at last And your worries will be past, And the work will go loo last In the Classbook. Then at last, when all is done, And your battle fought and won, You may smile-till is begun Another Classbook. Jeannette Thomas.

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THE DORIE Page Nine at seeing the story-teller, into whose arms he Hnally jumped. Yes, it was fPete,' come for his master,s friend, but this time Jim --o was with him, as was proved when his mas- ter stepped smiling into the room. E H. Smalley, ,23. A Tale of Two Towns fOr, What You Willj NEERBEER NICK, most famous of detect- ives, stood on the corner of the Bowery and 33d Street disguised as a lamp-post. Ever alert and watchful, he soon perceived a pretty young woman languidly strolling towards him. As she passed our sleuth she dropped a small piece of paper, which action did not escape Neerbeeris eagle glance. Ut- tering a cry like that of a lamp-post to avoid suspicion, he stepped from his disguise and stealthily picked up the paper. A faint cheesy odor permeated the atmosphere. A startled exclamation burst from the lips of the detective, for on the paper was written: Ullfffayonnaise, numero 57, Rue de From- mage, Paris I The plot sickens. A dignified gentleman ambulated with decision towards a stately maison particu- Iiifre on the Rue de Frommage, Paris. As he approached, a querulous female voice cried out, f'Qui Stes-vous? Stung and frightened by these cruel words, our hero Cfor such he wasj drew back, confused. What, thought he- Wl1at would lVIonsoor Finnegan say in my place? Ah, yes! Vouloir zioulruzt fvouler -je zfeux that's it-je veux- Oh, hang it, he cried in English, l want to see lVIayonnaisef' lVlayonnaise,H said the voice as the door slammed shut, is dressingli' g'True,,' said the intrepid detective in a Gastonian manner, Hlldayonnaise is dress- ing. I never thought of that before. It was midnight Qas it often isj in the Quartier Latin. Bursts of frenzied music from a little cafe of questionable reputation smote the ear. A gang of boisterous Apaches were for should it be wax, Miss Beard?l dancing and singing. Suddenly a shot rang outg twenty redskins bit the dust. No, no! I have my scenes mixed. All this was in the heart of Paris-don't ask me which ventri- cle. It wasn't a shot: someone just pulled the cork out of a bottle of absinthe. Nlayonnaise was dancing with a ferocious looking Apache CNeerbeer Nick in dis- guisej. mn - - o p lx i . 3 .1 -- ' ,... Q1 Q . '1 p 0 f X I .1 A i EMIIWIH!!W 'Iimi.:, Q i '..,QTilflfQl2lVg!mI'f?YYi -Hi

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T H F, D O M F, Page Eleven How Old Si Was Once Fooled OUTSIDE it was dark. The wind rushed by, brushing against the chimneys, whistling a merry tune, and endeavoring to tear open tightly shut and bolted doors and windows. Inside it was warm and light. Perkins's store, which was both grocery and post- office, displayed a cheerful scene. Gathered around the small stove, which extended its warmth to all, sat a group of aged men men with faces beaming full of jolliness and unheedful of the stormy, cruel Master Wind without. Waal, Si, ol' pal, spoke Perkins, you 've gotta do your bit now. C'mon, give us a nice little tale. Wasil, drawled old Si, who was just turning eighty but whose lust and vigor contradicted that age- VVaal, he drawled again, with his el- bows on his knees and stroking his thirteen haired beard and chewing away on his to- bacco at one hundred chews a second- 'WVaal, he drawled away for the third time, looking far into novvheres with his never-fading eyes as if to see the written story before him- All was still and all were patient, for they knew when Si said three Waals the fourth one brought out a story full of anticipating interest. Waal, came the last ejaculation, be- traying the ghostly and nightmaric tale that was to follow- Ya better all hold yer hearts an' keep th' color in yer faces an' hold on ta yer excitement. For here goes! IVVhen I wuz a kid about twelve years old I wuz comin' from school, an' I happens ta pass ol' Timothy's farm Qthat farm ain't no morej. I saw two red apples. Ya know apples a'ways usta get me in dutch. Waal, I saw those two apples, an' all I does is go over th' fence for 'em. I put one in me blouse, an' ate th' other. Nobody knew. Anyway, so I thought. Here he smacked his lips, as if recalling the delicious IZLSIC. Wasil, afther supper who should come to th' door but Fatty, an' he sez, sez he, ta me: 'I'm goin' ta Ol' Gypsy's house around th' corner. Ya know he comes every year this time, an' whoever is there he goes an' tells 'em their fortune. Comin'? Or are ya afraid ?' Ya know, boys, I never wuz afraid, so I goes ta th' barn an' gets me a lantern, an' off ta th' gypsy's house we were. VVe goes up th' stairs, an' th' creakin' made me think they wuz goin' ta fall ta pieces. But they didn't. Don't forget th' apple wuz still in me blouse. We sat down on th' floor, Fatty sayin' there wuz ten minutes afore th' ghost show- ed up. I wuz beginnin' ta get scared. It never happen' ta me before, an' I wuz seein' things on th' wall. Pretty soon we hears a noise, an' I gets scared again. U 'Stan' up,' Fatty whispers ta me. I gets up, an' as soon as I does that in comes th' ghost. It wuz all white, an' I got real scared then. This wuz th' scaredest mo- ment in allnae life. Th' ghost kep' movin' nearer an' nearer ta me, an' I kep' movin' far'er an' far'er from him till I got against th' wall an' I sat down with a bang an' out goes th' lan- tern, an' all I c'd see was that white ghost. I wuz shiverin' an' me hands were cold, an' I s'pose me face wuz as white as th' ghost. Then th' ghost begins speakin' in a shaky voice. 'K 'C'mon,' he sez, 'turn over that apple ya got from ol' Timothy. I know yal Ha, ya thought ya could get away with me, but ya aughta know ya can't fool Ol' Gypsy.' VVaal, what could I do? All I does is give him th' apple. I-Ie takes it, an' walks over ta Fatty an' sez ta him, 'Bad will come ta him, but good ta ya, an' maybe bad ta ya, too.' Then he walks down th' stairs laughin' an' makin' th' whole house shake. 'I-Ia, hal' he laughs. 'Some applel' he sez, an' then he sez again ta Fatty, 'Try an' get some.' Th' next day after I got over th' effects an' grabs hold of Fatty an' sez, 'Who wuz that last night? It wuz no ghost.' CA11' all th' while I thought it wuz a ghost.j Ya know Fatty a'ways wuz a coward, an' he begins beggin' me not ta hurt him an' tells th' whole story. He tol' me that the ghost wuz Skinny, an' he sed that he'd give Fatty half th' apple if he would help