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Page 18 text:
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Polly Tics Characteristics: Has run for student government every year - is very vocal on all issues - can recite each party’s platform from the past election - is the only one in history class who is up on current events - knows all of the congressional districts in Minnesota - personally interviews the candidates for local elections - is on a one to one basis with the President. Cal Cuius Characteristics: Is always seen wearing a calculator on his belt - can recite Newton’s law backwards and forewards - is the only one in senior accelerated math who converses on Mr. Leary’s level - is the only one in class who has a programmable calculator that carries problems out two decimal places farther than anyone else - when asked questions, he somehow relates it to math - his favorite words are “that can be done by calculus.” Ima Brownose Characteristics: Answers every question the teachers ask - calls the teacher on weekends for help - smiles when called a “brownose” - has every volume of Rogets College Thesaureas -skips football games to do homework just to make sure she gets it all done - will do anything for the teacher - knows the curve for the test before anyone else, only because she helped to make it up. Introduction
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Page 17 text:
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Jacques E. Shorts Characteristics: Snaps his fingers and the girls come running - has a different color jersey for every day of the week, and one with a matching tie for Sundays - is always carrying an athletic bag - wears his letter jacket when it is eighty degrees - has a mirror in his locker - is seen at every school sponsored sports event - is at a loss without his comb - favorite saying is “Hi, girls.” I. Foundit Characteristics: Frequently seen carrying a Bible from class to class - is heard humming favorite hymns before, during, and after class - belongs to the Billy Graham fan club - has made arrangements with a local church to have the script of the inspirational message from “Live Today” sent to home - appears to be constantly looking at the ground due to the excessive weight on neck from wearing every type of cross ever made - could recite any book of the Bible at age four v lntroduction 13
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Page 19 text:
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A. Plause Characteristics: Stand out in any crowd - always shows the most school spirit and will do anything for a laugh - tries out for every play, musical, and talent show just so everyone will notice him - appears in all school functions, including girls’ intramural soccer games just so he can say, I was there.” -joins everything so his name is mentioned in every section of the yearbook, newspaper, etc. -his big dream is to be a super-star. Ann Onymus Characteristics: Is frequently seen ducking around corners or into the cans-knows everyone’s locker combination just in case she ever needs to get in-is more commonly known as the Secret Santa, the Secret Easter Bunny, etc.-keeps an updated calendar of everyones birthday so that no ones birthday is forgotten - outside activities include T.P. jobs for any occasion and telephone calls without conver-sation-her favorite saying is, “Guess who?” Introduction 15
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