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Page 33 text:
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Following the footprints of his father, Barry Linthicum has become an ace detective. (He was born to it; he can fall asleep anywhere.) John Magruder, who was voted a boy, most likely, and Arthur Virts have given birth to a barber shop, the finest clip joint in Rockville. Barbara Olson and Margaret Windsor have Rockville on its toes by organizing a Physical Culture club. Their motto is, Exercise will kill germs, which raises the moot question, Who can get germs to exercise? . Juanita Parker and Jean Robertson may be reached at their mind-reading and for-tune-telling booth in the Court House. ( Ah, Judge, you have just come from dinner. Really? Yes, I know my onions. ) John T. Pool is still cruising around town in his car (hardly a Wreckless driver.) The head of Rockville's new weather bureau is Mary Fraley ( Young lady, you predicted fair weather for today and the snow is up to the eaves of our garage! Can you explain that? No, sir, it's too deep for me! ), who is expected to take a vacation soon, as the weather doesn't agree with her Francis Ray and Carolyn Williams are the top surgeons at our hospital, (the cutups). They like their jobs, though; there's plenty of time for hunting and fishing. A Hollywood talent scout has just discov ered Tommy Slick, who has retained the title of Miss Pancakes (boy, is she stacked up!) for the tenth year. Marion Selby, Rockville's new district attorney, has just finished up another case. ( Hie ) Geneva Sheets and Geraldine Spring are manufacturing mattresses and bed linen now. The other day someone told me that Geraldine has put on a little weight. Spring's bustin' out all over. Star reporter Mary Shelton is keeping tab on the city's pulse by watching policemen's beats. New professor of economics at Maryland University is Wendell Turner, M.A , BA, Ph D., I.I.H.G. (if I had graduated). Jane Warfield has settled down to a quiet life in a kennel. (No, Junior, she raises dogs.) She sells all of her dogs for twenty-five cents because a bargain dog never bites. Paul Wilson, aviator, dogcatcher, and erstwhile genius has earned the title of laziest man in the world. (Instead of shoveling the snow off his walk, he invents a better mouse trap.) Everybody has fallen in love with that star of television, Nellie Vinson. Omnia Vinson amour. Mr Comly says that one out of every thirty-seven people is a criminal; and after reading this it is not hard to guess who that is. Hey guard, mail this for me, will ya? Yours for prophetic exactitude, No. 9137684 (Jack Belt) 29
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Page 32 text:
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CLASS PROPHECY Ah me, time flies, as does just about everything else in this atomic air age. Here it is, I960! People are still doing the same old things, marrying, divorcing, having babies, dying, worrying about the rent, taxes, bills, keep up with the Joneses, keeping the wolf away from the door. . . . But now, it's us! No longer is it ours to stand by and let somebody else foot the bills we incur, to esconce ourselves behind the bulwark of family, to glory in the reputation of others. No, we now find it incumbent upon ourselves to keep food in our stomachs, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads. For some strange, intangible reason, ( Money! Money! Money! YE CODS, do you think I'm made of money? ), this is just a wee bit harder than we had been led to believe. But enough of these sordid expatiations; on to the roster! Let us go forth and see how our fellow-graduates have fared midst the buffets of this cold, hard, fickle sphere. Stanley Carter is the Chief of the Rockville Fire Department. (An expert fireman, he knows how to keep his eyes on the hose.) Alice Collins has become the private secretary of one of Rockville's many budding millionaires. ( Miss Collins, your presence thrills me. Your presents thrill me too, boss. ) Anna Connelly and Reba Hottinger have an independent firm. As a matter of fact, it's the most independent in Rockville because it takes orders from no one. Nancy Beverage and Marie Coffey, pooling their fluid assets, have established a tea shop in the heart of Rockville. (They would probably do a better business if they stopped taking their meals at Seen's. ) Everybody is talking about Leo Finney-frock and Porter Oden, heavyweight prizefighter and manager, respectively. (Lee is very superstitious. He carries a horseshoe in his glove for good luck.) Treva Hoffacker and Katherine Gartner have started a chain of gas stations without roofs, to avoid overhead. (For awhile it looked as though business was on its last leg, but Katherine got to work and it snapped ight back.) The finest law firm in Rockville is owned by Jacquelyn Hitchcock and Sue Taylor. Jackie takes care of the criminal end of the business (she's never been caught yet), while Sue presses suits. Mary Hankel and Margie Haynes are in charge of the RMHS cafeteria and, being wonderful chefs, are making a bang-up job; (they have been cooking there for the last ten years and ought to be done by this time.) Jerry Johnson is the head nurse at Rockville's brand new hospital. (A patient in ward 3 has just taken a turn for the nurse ) Lorraine Kitts and Jane Rutherford have established an infant home and diaper service. (Lorraine likes the change and Janie can be a pin-up girl.) 28
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