Rensselaer High School - Chaos Yearbook (Rensselaer, IN)

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The latest news scoop on the three Rensselaer lawyers, JOHN TIMMONS, SHOUP, and SHELLY, disclosed they had padded the jury during the trial of Little Man What Next COOK who was accused of violating the speed limit in Hanging Grove. Rhapsody in Brass SHOUP was dismissed from the case. Sports announcer ED. LONERGAN of sta- tion W.I.N.D. was all ready to key up the public concerning the ultra high power range of pitcher OSBURN, when much to the sorrow of his fans, F. D. R. desired the mutual net- work for his fireside chat. JANE SHOOK and MAXINE STILLMAN in their Battle of Wits ruled harmonic generation had been finally established between the members of the junior class. The Hank and Dude Ranchers, KNOERZER and EPLER, won very great fame at the National Farm Show. Knoerzer ' s onions were recognized as the strongest and most odorous while Epler ' s squash received the blue ribbon for being the seediest. Sh erlock HOLMES as Jasper County ' s agent is the hero of the latest radio serial The Man I Mar- ried by EDITH ZILLHART. RICHARD GOSNELL, A Friend In Need, has finally been graduated and has left with much regret his laundry and cleaning work (excluding dusting erasers) to the Man on the Streets KRUZAN. JOHN HUDSON, Jack Arm- strong, the All-American Boy, was the recipient of a scholarship for young artists. John has been assigned to pursue his studies in Paris. While roaming around the student quarters of the gay city he broke in on an American review in the Chez Paris Cafe. There to his great surprise were KANNE and KANNEY in Round the Town. He discovered CAROLINE NAGEL had just received the Academy Award for her new play Life Can Be Beautiful. Her play Linda ' s First Love starring MARY JEAN GAINES and JANE LOWRY was just finishing its New York run. On the Clipper flying to Paris, John had met the stewardess, BETTY LOU WALLACE, who was enthusiastic about her work. Betty Lou has a new home in Paris which she calls the ' Hermit ' s Cave. While in Paris her class- mates, Hudson, Kanne, and Kanney, call frequently. On the Clipper, Valiant Lady, BETTY JANE WILCOX was the operator of the beauty salon. ARDIS JACKS conducts a school appropriately called Charm House.” Here she daily generates patterns and sym- bols of good conduct. EUKA SALYERS, The Girl Alone, teaches a class on How to live Alone and Like It. JOHN JORDAN, The Answer Man, meets the rural emergencies by carrying on extensive poultry extension work. Ma Perkins” RAMEY passes out timely home comments to the Early Risers Club. WADE WELTZIN ' S Melody Farm is the show place of Jasper County. He uses all The Wife Saver devices that chief engineer, DALE HERMANSON can hook up. He even employs a carrier and buzzwire system so by remote control the cows in the barn can enjoy the Contented Hour sponsored by Car- nation Milk. ELNORA PARKISON and THELMA JACKSON, producers of Sunday Sun- shine, are a most popular duet. They conduct their Old Fashioned Revival amid the chanting and crooning of Life Can Be Beautiful. And so, Ladies and Gentlemen, this concludes our latest news of the Class of 1941. Don ' t forget to buy your copy of the Classy Chaos at once. Keep your dials tuned to station R. H. S. for the latest news of the day. Page Twenty -One

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arch op Vi one program is broadcast on this fine May day, 1948, from Station R. H. S. of the Certified Classy Chaos Company. Buy a Chaos and avoid 1 st and future events. ' Classy Chaos, ' little though it be, Dlete with wondrous novelties. Buy it at once and keep abreast of the time Now let your ace reporter end this rhyme. MANETTE BEAL, Hit of the Day, realized her ambition and is to be a secretary to Bob Hope. FOREST BARBER, eminent physician and surgeon, recently completed his la- test book, One Man ' s Opinion. BOWMAN, RITCHIE, and WILES, coaches at St. loe, Purdue, and I. U., broadcast their flashy Football Roundup over the Mutual Network of R. H. S. DORIS BRITT and LOLA TORBET have gained much popularity in a recently con- ducted poll and it feared that Brenda and Cobina will soon be replaced by them. JOHN- NIE RUSK, B. BROWN, and Pot of Gold BRUCE, Vagabonds deluxe, finally gradu- ated, passed geometry, and were married. They recently reurned from a delightful so- journ in Tahiti. A delightful ac t Designed for Dancing, was staged at the Rialto theater by CARMAN, CARMAN, and BIGGS. Their coiffures were stunningly arranged by Ma- dam DANIELS of the Vogue Review. Aviators JOHN CAIN and HAROLD BRADDOCK recently led a mass flight of U. S. bombers on an inspection tour. Pepper Young ' s Fam- ily will broadcast its 500th radio program tomorrow, the principal actors are still MARY and BOB GAMSTER and family. Mary decided to give up her nursing career years ago. Betty Crocker HANCOCK ' S advice to homemakers broadcast daily during Jim Poole SMITH ' S farm hour was so favorably accepted that Singin ' Sam Warren, the Barbasol Man, finally secured the right technique to hook-up with Double Dip Scantlin. STATH and STATH, Secretaries Incorporated, are editors of the Country Journal. The chief con- tributors to their Radio Gossip Club are LOIS GRANT and HELEN DUGGINS. Helen re- ports that the latest fashion trends are now more ridiculous than in 1940. The latest and swankiest model resembled an air port with numerous planes ready to take off. VIR- GINIA JEFFERY recently purchased the Sip and Bite. Every night from 3 to 5 she pre- sents College Rhythm. A Tri-State Hospital Ass ' n. whose chief surgeon is the young RUBY JOHNSON daily presents the half-hour broadcast of The Ladies In White. KNOER- ZER, GWIN, and EIB play the leading roles. Secretary of War FLORENCE in her round table discussion emphasized the signal strength that Gang Busters DONALD TIMMONS and RED PUTNAM have radiated. Putnam, the Jasper County game warden, has elim- inated much of the unlawful killing of wild game. These gang busters with the super power of Policeman HUBERT STILES tracked down a recent violator who had wired his class symbol on the school flag pole. Their super sleuth was CAPT. MIDNIGHT MOORE. Page Twenty

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Station R. H. S. now presents for your pleasure time the ' Battle of the Sexes ' with the members of the junior class participating. As masters of ceremonies we find Minna Mae Bartley and Mr. Homer Clark. The battle is on. Blaine Merriman, president, can you tell me whether or not the boys or girls are more active in your class? Without a doubt, sir, the boys are. Think how valuable our athletes Dale Ames, Keith Nesbitt, Glen Alson, Keith Schuman, Delos Wood, Lyle Ames, William Woodworth and I were to R. H. S. Mr. Announcer, I, Anita Putts, class vice president, disagree. Didn ' t the feminine side provide two class officers? Doris Miller is class secretary. We can boast of offi- cers in the various school activities besides leading roles in the class plays. Now, now, let ' s not argue that point. Aren ' t there other interesting news items concerning your class? Aren ' t you forgetting to tell the public about your grand play What A Life and that colossal Junior Prom? Everyone should know how your class en- livened by the friendly strife, which seems to be ever present, co-operated so well to make this ball a marvelous climax for the year. Yes, that is so. I would like you to know that Crimson and Gold are our class col- ors; the red and yellow ,roses our class flowers; Ad Astra Per Aspera our class motto. That s fine contestants. While the judges are making their decision as to the of this contest, 1 11 pcnise crwhile for stcrtion identificcition. MISS BARTLEY MR. CLARK Page Twenty-Two