Rensselaer High School - Chaos Yearbook (Rensselaer, IN)

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C H A o s be aggeiiaeri iiii Joi. I9 RENSSELAER, INDIANA. M-AY 20, 1940 Vol. 28 NATION PLUNGED INTO DARKDESPAIR President Assassinated The nation was plunged into the depths of sorrow when the news of the untimely death of our beloved president, Margaret E. Wild, was flashed through the air. The gruesome discovery was made by her faith- ful private secretary, Lucille Hemphill, who had returned to the of- fice in search of her most treasured posses- sion, namely: a black sweater with four bars and a star. Miss Hemp- hill was almost over- come by the ghastliness of the afair, but with her usual fortitude she had presence of mind enough to send a riot call to the police and notify Chief of the Se- cret Service, Claude Jones. Chief of Police, Maurice Harris, with his usual celerity, re- sponded to the call. Chiefs Harris and Jones, after careful in- vestigation, report the deed was undoubtedly committed by a former suitor of President Wild. A bottle, half-filled with some mysterious liquid, and a white linen handkerchief bearing the initials T. N. T., which were found in a remote corner of the room, are the only clues to the perpetra- tor of the deed. President Wi1d's desk was in its usual perfect order, symbolical of her great ediciency. Her well-chewed fountain pen lying by her open typewriter was mute evidence of an unfin- NO WORD FROM MARTIAN F LYERS Scientists Suggest Col- lision with Comet As yet no word has been received from the renowned Hiers, Mildred Wasson and Betty Mil- ler. who started off this morning from the courthouse square in High Spirits, their specially constructed rocket, with Mars as their destination. Just before leaving they an- announced that they would keep in touch with us continually by radio, but their mes- sages ceased abruptly after twelve o'clock. Some scientists sug- gest the possibility of collision with a comet, due to miscalculations. This is of course possi- ble, but it is improba- ble. We are awaiting definite news from our interstellar correspond- cnt, Mary Wortley. Student Government Proves Fatal to R. H. S. Teachers The Supreme Court of the student govern- ment had the greatest case they have ever handled brought before them Friday when Mr. Francis Karry, superin- tendent of city schools and widely known as the author of Why I Distrust Matrimony and These Women was accused of violat- ing a law of the Con- stitution, Article IV, Section VII. This arti- cle! states that no stu- dent or teacher of R. H. S. must be seen in com- pany with one of the WEALTHY WOMAN ! cnuzvrs For PET Olfers Munificent Reward The utmost sympathy is extended to Miss Mar- garet Cook, one of Chi- cago's most popular so- ciety belles, because of the mysterious disap- pearance of her pet aft- er its heroic deed of saving Mr. George Rob- inson from a deserving death in the fire which destroyed the No Cash , 'IJ Walk-out Hotel last Thursday. From Mr. Robinson's story he was in the wilds of Africa and was just fac- ing a mighty gorilla when he suddenly awoke and saw one swing in through the window and come to his bedside. Mr. Robinson all but jumped from the 150th story to es- cape the beast. He rushed to safety just as the famous hotel col- lapsed. Mr. Robinson's imag- ination was very good, for the gorilla was only Miss Cook's pet mon- key, which has not been seen since the terrible disaster. WAR 15112150 ON ARABIA Because oTActiofn of Shiek. War has been de- clared between Arabia and Czecho - Slovakia. The alarm has been verified. and the whole world looks with hor- ror on this declaration. All the turmoil began over the action of Paul- .ez Goldezbersh, former- ly an American scien- iContinued on Page 21 lContinued on Page 21 icontinued on Page 41 EMINENT SCIENTIST INVENTS CAMERA TO PHOTOGRAPH THOUGHTS Recently the renown- ed scientist, Mr. Golds- berry, completed a bril- liantly successful test of his latest creation, a camera which will photograph thoughts! ,Using Mr. Reed, his janitor, for his first subject, Mr. Goldsberry directed the camera at Mr. Reed's head, Mr. Reed, of course, being held absolutely still in a chair of special de- sign. Then the scientist allowed a two-minute exposure, after which he removed the plate from the camera and developed it. To his great astonishment and vexation the plate was absolutely blank. Mut- tering something about too thick a skull, he then called in his friend and lawyer, Mr. K. Putt, to take Mr. Reed's place in the chair. Again a blank plate was the result! Mr. Goldsberry stared at the plate for a moment and then re- marked audibly, Noth- ing there. That explains why he couldn't put that deal through! Highly disgusted, he hastily summoned Mr. Robinson, the million- aire toothpick manufac- turer. A third trial, and at last-success! On the developed plate appeared the image of a beautiful, young-, but we promised to keep Mr. Robinson's se- cret. Mr. Goldsberry has already very generously odered to turn his in- CContinued on Page 31 Page Sevctecn

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C H A 0 S ::::::::::::: Senior Class History OFFICERS President ....... ..,..,.......,..,.. .,..,.., R a leigh Phegley Vice-President .,.... ...,.., L ucille Hemphill Secretary ....,.., ......,.. V aleria Telfer Treasurer .,..... ...,...,..,.......,... A ndrew Shindler Sponsors ...........,.,...,......,i.,.....,................. Miss Clarke and Mr. Covert Motto- Toil Conquers All. Class Flower-Carnation. Class Colors-Green and White. On September 1, 1924, Rensselaer High School became the host of eighty-four boys and girls, the class of ,28. Robert May was elected president for the first year of their visit. Although totally ignorant of all the customs of R. H. S., these promising young people soon learned all the necessary rules and regulations. By the end of their first year even the upper classmen were forced to admit that the class of '28 was an ideal guest. In the fall of 1925 this same group, considerably lessened in number, accepted the invitation of R. H. S. to make another visit. Raleigh Phegley was elected president. This year the class was determined to pay back in some way the kindness of their host. Accordingly many of the boys took an active Part in athletics and others won prizes in the County Latin test and in the Co-unty Declamation Contest. Two of the class were winners in the Goodfellowship contest. In 1926 this class congregated in the halls of R. H. S. for the third time. Raleigh Phegley was again elected president. This year was a very successful one for this class. Their prom was a success-socially as well as financially. Three members won places in the Goodfellowship contest. Two took part in the County Latin test and many won R's in athletics. Forty have returned to R. H. S. for their fourth and last year as the guests of Rensselaer High School. For the third time they elected Raleigh Phegley president- thus showing their appreciation of his work as president. Two were elected as good- fellows, and several of the boys received R,s for their work in athletics. The visit of the class of '28 with R. H. S. has come to an end, and each must go out into the world to find a home elsewhere,4but carrying with him a tender memory of his high school career. All mistakes are stcLlJpi1'zg sfoncs, some lead down, some up. Page Sixteen

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C H A Q S llllilllllllii Z mmnnnnnu uuumm Zilhe Eazzelaerien THE RAZZELAERIEN Editor .... Ima Schamed Subscription Rates- S10 per year 50c per copy Radio Number .... 4377 Publishing Co. ' Maines dz Ihne Moody, Ind. Advertising Mgrs. Graham and Shindler EDITORIAL Now, dear readers, let us have a few mo- ments of quiet contem- plation to rest ourselves from this noisy, bust- ling world. After all the excitement of the day, what could be more pleasant than to sit before the fireplace with its cheerful, glow- ing logs and just re- iiect? But let us get down to our subject. Is it not splendid to have a place where you may go every day and eagerly glean a little information? Is it not a wonderful privilege to have kind, thoughtful, unselfish instructors who are so gentle and patient in guiding your feet up the steep path of knowledge? Do you often stop to think how many more provisions are made for your happiness than were made for the happi- ness of the previous generation? As you hasten happily off to school in the morning, you are, of course, too much enthralled by the anticipation of the many fascinating 'facts which your learned in- structors will reveal to you with their charac- teristically ingenious methods, turning his- tory and English into delightful ro m a n c e s , Page Eiyhtecn and mathematics and science into the most charming and awe-in- spiring types of modern magic, to give much thought to the consider- ation of the fact that your parents were not so fortunate as to get to enjoy the magnificent advantages which you of course deeply appre- ciate, though not, how- ever, as much as you should. You obviously owe much more to the pre- ceding generation than you can ever repay. So, if one of your much re- spected teachers, being overburdened by his work, should become downcast at being un- able to help you as much as he desires, what would please him more than a kind word and a bouquet? If you have no other iiowers, why not take the gold- en dandelion? What matters it if you have only a dandelion with which to express your love? To illustrate, let us quote one of our em- inent boot-leggers who said on one occasion, The spirits are there if the bottle is cracked. Old Timer No. 999W Fond Memories KA poem written in 1938 by the Reverend John Charles Hill.J Oh, ten long years have passed away Since that last, dim Commencement Day, My hair is quickly turn- ing gray CAh trulylj When e'er I think of R. H. S. I think of peace and happiness. Those dear old walls may Heaven bless! fYes, reallyll CContinued on Page 47 NATION PLUNGED INTO DARK DESPAIR fContinued From Page U ished task. A last lingering ray of sunlight cast its gleam on a single red rose placed before a picture of a handsome naval officer. The de- tectives have been un- able to distinguish the signature which was be- low the picture, and the identity of this man has thus far remained an unfathomable mystery. The world breathless'- ly awaits the result of the investigation. Former R. H. S. Students Establish School In Orient Last Monday Mr. E. Graham and Mrs. M. A. Warren Graham sailed from New York for China. They will spend the next month in learning to speak and write the Chinese lan- guage. They expect to master the language and become leaders of a new school being es- tablished in the inter- ior of China. They hope to be able to teach the pure English language to the young students, trusting no American slang has yet reached the ears of the isolated tribes. Marriage License Issued By Clerk Thomas Willis Friday 13, 1940, Keith Putt, born Mt. Ayr, Ind., August 17, 19109 present residence, Rensselaer, occupation. lawyer 3 and Jewel Wiseman, born July 9, 1911, Rensselaer, Ind., present residence, Parr, Ind.g occupation, in- structor of aviation in Parr High School. Fifth marriage for former and second for latter. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENCE L. Seible: Falling hair may be avoided by jumping quickly aside whenever you see it coming your way. C. Reed: Freckles may be pried out with an ice pick. Should this fail try blasting with dynamite. V. Telfer: To keep your stove from going out at night, put it out in the afternoon. A. Shindler: If your feet are too large, drink condensed milk. A. Warren: Bad nails can be avoided by driv- ng them in with a ham- mer. H. Eaton. To tell whether or not you are a victim of this insidi- ious affliction, halitosis, go to a little child for the answer, because your best friends will not tell you. S. Hunt: A leak in the roof will stop as soon as the storm is over. M. Johnson: The best method by which to improve the shape of the nose is to keep from poking it into other people's business. Student Government Proves Fatal to R. H. S. Teachers fContinued From Page ll opposite sex without a chaperon after the very late hour of 9 o'clock. Mr. Karry has been accused of being seen in the company of Miss Marie Johnson, also a teacher in high school, parked on the road back of the St. Joseph Col- lege, by the school dep- uty sheriff. Today Miss Johnson was brought on the stand, but, owing to nervousness, she did a iContinued on Page 41