Regis High School - Chi Rho Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI)

Page 14 text:

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HERE are many and var1ous Ways of falhng wh1ch one who has just met the pavement half way IS hable to neglect The art of falhng 1S an unusual one 1n these tunes when people do not enjoy or appreclate thls form of exerclse The first form of falllng IS a conto1t1on known as the ghde Thls IS a common m1shap Whlch few persons are able to per form gracefully Thls exert1on IS best ac comphshed on sllppery s1dewalks ma ble floors or 11ke footmg The subject adx ances at a good rate of speed slldes from the heels upward 1n a long swoopxng skld endmg when the athlete IS lylng flat upon h1s shoulder blades The mark of gen1u IS added when the head IS cracked sharplv against the pave ment leavlng the W1Ctlm w1th a moment of g'lO1'10LlS freedom from any thoughts except tho e of the fractured skull Even the balance of a notlon can be forgotten at such a txme Perhaps It was Whlle ly1ng stunned on the 1ound from an unwllhng descent from h1s horse that Napoleon gave the mlstaken order can cause slmllar react1on The second class of falls IS the clutch Thls IS best accomphshed by those W1th long reachlng arms The clutch Whlle lack1ng 1n grace IS much more energet1c than the gl1de It IS best used on smooth shppery surfaces The subject advances slowly and caut1ously on hls way untll he suddenly bal ances precar1ously on one foot W1th natu l 1nst1nct he clasps anyth1ng hamperlng h1s movements and makes a lungmg grab If he IS alone he must necessarlly grasp th1n a1r wh1ch havlng l1ttle strength w1ll deposlt h1m rudely on the firmament Thxs IS espec1al ly favorable to fractured wrxsts spra1ned ankles and mmor allments When there ls 1. fellow trax eler to be clutched the whole aspect of the matter changes The one clutch ed suddenly finds a heavy welght supported by hlS neck and h1s supply of hfe glVlIlg' oxygen shut off The correct procedure fo 11 It 5 En Art Thomas Flemmg, 37 h1m IS to sound a gurgllng scream and gasp wlldly at the offendlng member to restore MIS normal breath1ng From thls polnt on the battle lb for double or noth1ng If there IS sufhcxent strength between the two they support each other and are left gasplng for breath but umnjured If both go down the 1njur1es are shght only black eyes and broken noses caused by w1ldly swung elbows The sportlng' acc1dent 18 usually most ef f6Ct1V8 on a skatmg pond Thls IS often very embarrasslng unless the 1njured performer can rxse from hlS bed of pam and announce through a dxsplay of comets and other stars that he w1ll race anyone to the shore Long repo e on the 1ce groans rxsmg wlth staggers Wlll mark the xnjured person as a nov1ce ex en 1f the jar has suddenly extended h1s forehead sew eral 1nches or jarred out a httle dental work The most enjoyable feature of tlus performance 1 the muslcal sound produced when the head strxkes the ICB g1v1ng off a lox ely whack llke unto a watermelon be1ng dropped on a S1dEWaIk The final fall VVh1Ch one should attempt 1s the stalr way shuffle To accomphsh thlS sat1sfactor1ly the subject advances to the top of a long sta1rway one wlth stone steps preferred and mlsjudges the top step The locomotlon for the remamder of the tr1p IS alternated bets een the back of the neck and the base of the splne When the expert has completed hls tr1p he ar1ses and says My but those stalrs are shppery and goes out and eats a hearty meal The nov1ce how ever lb taken to the nearest hospltal to be put 1n runn1ng order agam Thus we see that the art of falllng has been neglected for too long Remember that nt takes both polse and practlce to '1r1se on one Q broken leg F3136 one s fractured arm wlth a sweep of one s dlslocated shoulder clench one spralned ngers w1tl1 a. mot1on of one s fractu1 ed YVTIS4' and laugh louolv W th one s broken jan at one s fractured skull fr Ag X xx x A . X , ' 7 . . . . . . , . . . . , ' ' 1 ' A o u ' I V I . . . . . . 7 W . . N . . 1 . , H . ,, . . .... . . - . . 1 - . . . . . . . 1 Y , . . . , . K 7 1 L ' J ' ., . . . . H . Y . . S S , , . V . - . . . . Y U . . . v. . Y. 4 . . , . Y . . b . , -' S ' . ' ' . . S 9 9 on I Y. . . Y . , Z3 M . at Waterloo. For th amateur, a broken leg - - , . , , CK ' - 9, ' ' ' u rv ' ' ' . . . . , - . v ' s ' tc n ' ' ' ' . , 7 . 1 ss - ar ' ' y ' 9 . . . . - - . . . U 7 3 ' ' ' ww ' ' as . .fa L , 1 . . . r . ' y . 1 , , - . . 1 1 . J 1 , ' 4 . . , 7 I 0 Q n n . Y u Q s U n v l - Y . . . . . f ' ' v F I A, 1 ' . , 7 , 'l A - S9 , . , I -1 L V 4 n , . 7 ' f' ' . r - ' ' S Alu. , . . . . . I Q - , E ,w ' V W . L A . -. - y- - 'g -v 7

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Pedal Perambulllators Arthur Dlckerson The author zs an authonty on feet When he zsnt busy m the chemzstfry laboratomy he can be found vm, one: of the down town shoe stores can thlnk of no toplc more upllftlng' on Wh1Ch to Wflte than feet You may thlnk It a trlvlal mat ter but all feet are not trlvlal For detectlng G men use the finger prlnt fortune tellers use the palm But the best way of determlnlng a person s character IS by the feet Wlth the ax erafre person you can tell whether he IS marrled or slngle by looklng at h1S sox If he IS slngle he has a hole ln hls sox lf he IS marrled he hasn t any sox If one has large feet he or she IS the type of per feet and have a hard tlme keeplng' off someone else s Then too wlth the ordlnary pel son you can tell whether he IS con ervatlxe 01 llberal by obserxlng the it of hlS shoe lf he IS conserx atlve he has col ns on hls feet from shoes that are too small lf he 1Sl1bGI'3.l he ll have floor bulns from stopplng so qulck ln shoes that are too la e A pel son who IS enwlous and usually down at the mouth has a bunlon There are many other uses for the feet other than Just Sh0YV1I'lg a person s character For example you can tell how many people a e ln a crowd by countlng the number of feet and dlvldlng by two ' ' 44' 13 2 f 1 , f 1' W X 9 ' ' 1 , o , - y . . ' . , - , . . . , C . 7 N CJ L 7 . , . .S 3 . . . , 7 , r , ' - son who would have the courage to stand on his own v A ' 7 . 3 ' ' . '- ' , . ' , 1 . . . . , ' 7 7 ro' ' ' ' lc, . C 1 ,. a ' 9 . . , v . . - , L 4 T . . . x R to . a ' ,, it 9 3,