Red Bank High School - Log Yearbook (Red Bank, NJ)

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THE ROUND TABLE 9 THE ADVENTURES OF ALEX. A. ANDERSON something else that doesn’t concern this story; but one thing certain, and that is this: Not all of Alex’s $1,000 went in the bank, for a new two-seated road chasing coupe was one direct result; another is left to the imagination of the reader. Giv- ing Rudolph credit for being able to hnd another girl, let us end this tale with, '’ and everyone lived hap- pily forever after.” Finis. THE MYSTERY OF THE “HAUNTED HOUSE ’ Let’s take a trip to the haunted house, tonight, fellows! Folks have been seeing and hearing strange things around there lately,” said a boy of about fourteen, to his chums, one clear, cold night in December. We’re game, Fred!” was the response of his comrades, one of whom was a rather stout lad who bore the nickname Fat” by virtue of his inclination to put on avoir- dupois, and the other whose real name was William Edward Jones, answered quite naturally to Bill”, by his friends. Bill, Fred and Fat lived in a small town, of the middlewest, ap- propriately named Centerville. Bill’s father was the local druggist in whose store the boys were now conversing. ‘I’ll ask Dad now if I can go”, said Bill, ‘ and you two hnd out at supper time, and perhaps----!” It’s six o’clock now,” broke in Fat, I guess we’ll be trotting along.” We’ll be there, if we possibly can,” said Fred, so long!” At twelve o’clock, three boys out- wardly calm, but inwardly scared, wended their way up a high hill, dotted with thick growths of under- brush. When they reached the top, they caught sight of the “haunted house,” gloomy and forbidding in the pale moonlight. They paused for a moment, to get up their courage. Fat was the first to step across the threshold, which creaked ominously under his two hundred pounds. The others followed cautiously. Sudenly they heard a thud followed by silence. They stood still, their hearts in their throats, not daring to move- Then “Come on,” whispered Fat. Plucking up a courage which they could not feel, they crept along, fol- lowing in the light of Fat’s flash- light. At the foot of a stairway, they distinguished the form of a man, writhing in agony. His right leg was twisted under his body and on the stairs, which had given way, were scattered myriads of bank notes and checks. Upon seeing the boys he under- took to put up a fight, cursing frightfully all of the time. He tried to reach his revolver, which had fallen near him but just out of his reach. Fred quickly grabbed the revolver and covered him. One thought ran through the boys’ mind. “Could it be possible that--------!” A sound behind them almost made them forget the fallen man. Turning fearfully, they saw two policemen advancing from the door- way, one holding a revolver, the other, a flashlight. “You kids are m luck!” said one of them. “This man is Snaky Pete, the robber of the Broadhurst First National Bank.” Pete shook his fist at them and kept on swearing. “I don’t reckon that will do you no good,” said the other policeman, with great difficul- ty, putting handcuffs on the bank- robber. “We’ve had reports of your things happening around this old house and our suspicions are more than realized,” put in the first policeman. “I guess you boys are m for the thousand bucks reward,'’ added his companion. The boys were too astonished for words. Their adventure had turned out to be a real one, and their ghost, a criminal, but the reward had paid for their effort in spite of palpitating hearts and shaking knees. We shall leave them now, to have the honor and pleasure of hav- ing found one of the master crimin- als of the country, and securing the bountiful reward offered for his discovery, dead or alive- THE WINNING GOAL A new arrival at Hamilton High was Don Barry. It was his fresh- man year and he had hopes of mak- ing the football team as he had been captain at Vermont High the year before. When the call for candidates was posted he was among the first to appear on the gridiron. He was strangely lonesome at first but as he knew the game well he soon had many friends, and he justified his own faith in himself for he won the place of fullback on the varsity team- Another candidate for full- back was Bob Reddy, but he seem- ed far too slow for that position. As the season wore on everything went well at Hamilton and most of the games were won by a large score and Don Barry was the cen- ter of the scoring. The last minor game with Harris High seemed to be a walkover for Hamilton, but in the third quarter Barry broke his nose and Reddy replaced him. Reddy’s playing was slow but sure and he managed to secure another touchdown before the whistle, and the final score stood Hamilton 19; Harris 0. In the practices that followed be- fore the big game, Barry never showed up as good as he had be- fore, and it seemed as though he were afraid. The day of the big game dawned clear and bright with a tinge of autumn color and a cool wind. But there was a little apprehension among the Hamiltonists because of Barry’s playing m the last week. The stands were crowded long before the game was to begin and there was much cheering on both sides. After a short and snappy practice of both of the teams, the whistle blew and the game began. The first half was a walkover for River- more who let loose their star full- back, Jack Ransen, who scooped up a fumble of Barry’s and made the first touchdown of the game. Fol- lowing that, Ransen made another touchdown when Barry missed tackle and this time he kicked the goal which he had failed before. (Continued on Page Twelve)

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8 THE ROUND TABLE THE ADVENTURES OF ALEX. A. ANDERSON Second Instalment The motorcycle came nearer the bend, its flash of light almost re- vealing the two men in the bushes. And around the bend appeared— Alex's flivver! The robbers seeing their mistake, promptly stopped Alex and his would-be-auto, which task was not difficult, for the flivver preferred stopping to going. One of the two took charge of Alex while the other proceeded to search Rudolph. Alex proved to be a dif- ficult victim, for he showed no in- tentions of being held up, and was battling furiously with the bandit. The revolver had been kicked into the road. Rudolph suddenly no- ticed the decrease in numbers; and, taking in the situation, as the rob- ber bent down to extract his be- longings, he quickly grasped a wrench lying on the seat and brought it down on the robber's head; before the bandit had chance to realize what had happened, Rudolph had grabbed the revolver from the road, jumped into Alex's “car , and started full speed down the road. Alex, seeing this cowardly esca- pade of his fellow victim, and find- ing the odds now two to one, dis- counting Margie from the fight, decide that the only thing he could do was to submit or use strategy. The first step to strategy being sub- mission, Alex submitted. The bandit led him over to his partner in Rud- olph's car, and began the process of searching Margie and him. The one detailed to “frisk Margie commanded her to hand over her jewelry and hurry up about it- Margie docilely stretch- ed out her hand, but quick as a flash seized the revolver of Alex's new guard, and threw it through the window! Alex took advantage of this turn of affairs, and, fast as lightning, smash- ed his fist into the first ones jaw; he crumpled down on the seat like a sack of potatoes. The other b andit grasped the wrench and hurled it at Alex who dodged the blow, threw open the door, and, picking up the revolver from the road, took command of the situation. The first robber was out of the affair for quite a while, at any rate; so Alex busied himself about the task of trussing up the active bandit with a rope from under the back seat, and then completed the job by tying the still unconscious one in the front seat. Not having any great worry about Rudolph’s tires, and being familiar with the working of almost any car, he drove full speed back towards the police station at home, splashing through the now muddy road and over the rough spots without any decrease in speed. Whether he sent the car flying at its top rate of 100 miles an hour is not known, or probable, but within an hour he was once more entering the limits of the town. Suddenly he noticed a strange thing—the police officers on the block were running towards him, brandishing revolvers, pufling and panting, each striving to outdo the other—and the first to arrive shouted breathlessly: “Halt in the name of the law! You’re under arrest! Alex frowned, scratched his head, and halted. What was it all about, anyway? The officer jumped on the running board and said, “Drive over to the station house—no foolishness, now—two blocks ahead, turn to the right- Alex broke in with, “Say, officer, what’s the idea, anyway? I haven't done a thing except a little speed- ing, and I wasn’t going over twenty- five miles an hour. The officer replied, “No arguing with an officer of the law, young fellow; this car was stolen two hours ago, and you don’t catch a Murphy taking any chances with a $1,000 reward. “But I didn’t steal this tin can; I just captured the robbers myselr. and was bringing them to the po- lice. “Tell that to the Judge; he likes fairv stories.' The police sta- tion came into view, and Alex stopped, bristling with rage. Offi- cer Mui phy took him by the collar, handcuffed him and the two men in the rear seat, and led them into the building. There on thei bench sat Rudolph; seeing the men, he burst out with, “They’re the ones. Judge ; point- ing at the prisoners without taking any pains to exclude Alex. “Give them the full penalty of the law • any man that tries to rob a defense- less woman deserves it, he said, glancing at Margie who was just entering the door. She could not control her anger any longer; ap- proaching Rudolph, the fire flashing in her eyes, she cried: “You—;. ??? !!! (No immoral language should be used in any clean maga- zine), you thought nothing of going off and leaving me to their mercies, 'you ??? !!!’’ Then she went on to explain the entire happenings to the judge. After getting the cor- roboration of Alex and the unwill- ing assent of Rudolph, the judge dismissed Alex, gave the two bandits a sentence of—well, that doesn't concern this story,—and told Alex with a kindly, benevolent tone, as if he himself were confer- ring the favor, “And you, I believe, get the $1,000 reward for the cap- ture of the thieves and the safe return of the car. Rudolph, star- ing at Alex and Margie standing side by side, without a care in the world, turned crimson. And what Alex and Margie did after that is

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10 THE ROUND TABLE JOKES Speak er in Chapel: “What part of the paper do you turn to first”? Chorus of Juniors: “The Funny Sheet” ! (They would !) The Alternative. Morford: “When I drink much I can't work, and so I let it along. Dodd: “The drinking?” Morford: “No, the working!” Humpity, Dumpity had a great fall. He rode a “pony” into Gaul, He hit Caesar with a brick. And he didn't do it any too quick. G.B.L. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Don't take Latin, It ain't very nice. G.B.L. Boss: “What are you doing. Bill?” Bill: “I’m helping Jim.” Boss: “What are you doing Jim? Jim: “Nothing.” Little Boy: “I want a cake of soap I Druggist: “Have it scented?” L. B.: “No thanks, I live right around the corner.” “We know a guy that’s so cheap that if steamboats sold for three cents apiece, he couldn t buy the echo off the whistle.” Bottled Scotch. Autoist (laying beside wrecked car): “Get a doctor quick!” Scotchman: “Has the Insurance Agent been here?” Autoist: “No, not yet.” Scotchman: “Move over a wee bit so I can lay down beside ye-” Wise Guy! Chet Ebie to girl: “May I have this next dance?” Girl to Chet: “Why, Chester, I didn't know you could dance!” Chet to girl: “I can't but it looks so easy that I think I can hold you while you try it.” Dogmatic It is said that a dog fills an empty space in a man’s life. This is especially true of the hot dog! Miss Stranger: “The name of the play that you are to study is 'My Ladies' Dress’.” H. Kruse: “I hope it’s a short one. Willie had been sent to the bak- ery to buy a loaf of bre ad. When he returned, his Mother asked him why he didn’t get the bread. The answer was, “Well, Mother, you see there was a sign in the window, 'Home Cooking’!” R. Enright, '29- Jane’s Mother had taken her to the Bronx Park in New York. When it was time to go home she asked Jane rather impatiently if she had not seen everything. Her Mother, quite puzzled, was about to question her when she saw a sign which read: “Beware of the Pickpockets.” If you don’t think that gunning has begun, ask Mr. Seiber where all of the boys went on November 10th. —o— How is the paneranum, Sko? —0— Noted Persons of R. B. H. S. Toreador (Bull thrower), F. Bramn Football Player. . .John Hollywood Cheer Leader ..... ....... Moe Home wrecker......Bill Applegate Indoor sportsman. .Bill Greenwood Heartbreaker...... Gyp” Powers English Student. . . Jim Curley??? Business Manager .......... Colio Revenue officer ...Art, Thompson Tango dancer . . . “Scotch” Hanley The Cadet..............Roy Smith Greenwood: “I don’t think I should get “O” in this test.” Miss Galbreath: “Neither do I, but that’s the lowest I could give you.” —o— Richard Davey (to the barber) : “Be careful not to cut my hair too short or they’ll think I am my sister!” WANTED—A CATALINE! One of us young Ciceronians ob- jects to the assignment of writing a speech in the style of Cicero on the grounds that he has no Catiline to “holler at.” Won’t someone vol- unteer? Another of our members after floundering around for several mo- ments in an effort to translate “nescio” finally stammered out, “I —I—I’m ignorant----------” Well, if it is true, as a certain member of our faculty asserts, that it is good for one to find out he isn’t as clever as he thinks he is, then someone is certainly being benefitted by Cicero class. A Latin club recently held a meeting to celebrate in honor of a certain god. The ceremony con- sists in sacrificing a horse. As no horses were available for this pur- pose the members contented them- selves by burning “ponies.” E. C., ’27. Billie was sent on an errand by his mother and when he got to the store the grocer asked him what he wanted. But Billie had forgotten. While he was thinking, a Jewish boy came in and when asked what he wanted replied, “Oh, I fergott what I kam fer.” Billie sudenly exclaimed, “That’s it—camphor. R. Enright, ’29. UNFORTUNATES IN OUR MIDST Arthur Carey...............Always broke Francis Bramn ................His tongue James Hanley .... His nationality Benny Parker.He is so irresistable Jesse Bennett, His ideas of himself Juniors......Not enough room to tell it all. Neal Raver.....His overwhelming height. Young Shafto. . . .He has forgotten that young children should be seen and not heard. Harry Ingles ..........His conceit W. Kiel: “Mr. Dilks, shall I use to drive this we mallet or a hammer? Mr. Dilks: “Use your Kiel!” what dge, a head.