Red Bank High School - Log Yearbook (Red Bank, NJ)

Page 24 text:

22 THE HOUND TABLE We wonder why Stout can’t be sat- isfied with one, instead of robbing the school of all its pretty girls. Miss Hussong (in Problems Class) : “What were the Alien and Sedition Acts? Mr. Irwin.” Ed (sleepily) : “I don’t know.” Miss H.: “Do you mean to tell me that after taking Problems all last term, you don’t know what the Alien and Sedition Acts were?” Ed.: “Yes. That’s the reason I’m taking it over.” Miss Booth (to class): “Who can use the word final in a sentence? Final means end.” Virginia Moffit (shyly) : “The final of the cat’s tail is white.” The Proposal. “Je t adore,” the Frenchman told her. “Yo to amo, whispered the Span- iard. “I love you madly,” breathed the Englishman. “Say,” said the American, “will you marry me?” A Moonshiner. “All my life I’ve been unfortunate. When still a child I was left an orphan.” “What did you do with it?” “I am not bound to please thee with my answer.” (sentence in English). Miss Stanger: “Who said that.” W. Wilson: “I did.” Qualification. Mr. Wolbach: “A pickpocket ought to be able to run a typewriter excellently. Good touch 1” Miss Hussong: “Has anyone here ever been to Carpenter’s Hall—?” Oakey: “I have.” Miss Hussong: “Yes, that’s the first place they take children to.” Definitions Bookkeeping: A short course pre- scribed for pupils desiring to become librarians. Stenography: A new secret code designed for the deaf and dumb. Algebra: A part of mathematics involving unknowns and saving noth- ing in order to obtain something as a result. Latin: A dead language, studied for use in the after life. Physics: A study of principles of work, devolved by not working, and the explanation of how and why things happen as they happen to happen. Solid Geometry: A relation of plane geometry. Deals with the sub- ject of solids such as cones, cylinders, heads, etc. Spanish: An opportunity for Miss Hooker to relate her travels to her laboring classes. History: This course is given to enable Miss Hussong to describe the City of Philadelphia to her pupils. Chemistry: An explanation of the fumes that can sometimes be smelled in the upper hall. Music: An impersonation of a pig under a fence, a woman seeing a mouse, etc. Often rendered by the High School Orchestra. Dot Morris: “I’ve passed French at last.” Helen Brevoorst: “Honestly?” Dot: “What difference does that make.”

Page 23 text:

THE ROUND TABLE 21 We editors may dig and toil Till our finger tips are sore. But some poor fish is sure to say “I’ve heard that joke before.” Juniors. PARK all kiddy-cars, rocking horses and tricycles parallel to the curb. ADVERTISE all lost articles such as rattles, teething-rings, pacifiers, build- ing blocks, buttons, pennies, rubber balls, dolls, balloons, cap-pistols, bean shooters, bubble pipes and water pis- tols in the Round Table. DO NOT cry for Castoria or pare- goric during Assembly. Do not take your daily afternoon and morning nap during study period. Faded Beauty. Teacher: “What tense is this? ‘I am beautiful’.” Smart Boy: “Remote Past.” Ed Hubbard: “I don’t think my Bertha could tell a lie in twelve months.” McKnight: “You’re lucky. My girl can tell a lie the moment I utter it.” —o— Mr. Wolbach: “This is the third time that you looked on Anna’s paper.” Meyers: “Yes sir, she doesn’t write very plainly.” Miss Stanger (in Dramatic Reading Class): “What are pauses?” Tetley: “They grow on cats.” Dorothy Morris: “I get as many as twenty or thirty telephone calls a day.” Helen Tuthill: “My, how popular. All admirers I suppose.” Dot: “No. Wrong numbers.”

Page 25 text:

THE ROUND TABLE 23 COMING SOON Four-act Musical Comedy entitled “Cartoon Capers ’ Cast of Characters Charles Chaplin Isadore Cardon (in long pants) Dorothy Darnit........Isobel Smock Mutt ............................. Roy McKnight Jeff ................ Raymond Brower Happy Hooligan Edgar Terhune Barney Google ........ “Rus” Tetley Maggie ........... Vera Oudermeulen Jiggs ................ George Bailey Dinty Moore ............ Ed Hubbard Powerful Katrinka ....... Lois Hesse Harold Teen .................. “Oakey” Lillums ............ Elizabeth Murphy Katzenjammer Kids Lionel Finkelstein George Myers The Captain ................ Weinstein The Inspector ........ George Predmore Skeezix .............. Harold Shafto Unca’ Walt ............ Milton Berk Moon Mullins James Cleary Little Egypt ......... “Dot” Morris Smitty ............. William Barrett One Round Teddy ........ “Mel” Stout A short time ago Russel Wickes came to the Editor-in-Chief of the Round Table. He wished to contrib- ute a story, and while presenting it the following conversation took place: Conant: “Your story, at first glance isn’t so bad, but your name isn’t known to our subscribers.” Author Wickes: “Oh never mind you can sign it Hawkins or Philips.” Bold Senior: “What shape is a kiss?” Embarrassed Freshy: “Er—a—a I never noticed.” Senior: “Well give me one and we'll call it square.” Red Bank is to have naval pro- tection at last. The navy has invaded the town. At least the sailor’s trousers have. We understand that Frank Wagner is the admiral. Anyway he wears white pants to school. So far the following have joined the navy and have embarked on the good ship “Nin- compoop”: Henry Moller John Sweel Charles Oakerson Monroe Decker Clarence Gray William Colio George Olmstead Lawrence Burdge George Bailey Edwin McDermott Gregory Gallegher Elliott Borden Richard Clapp Edgar Denise Ed Irwin On Monday, October 20 they parad- ed up and down Harding Road, per- haps endeavoring to secure more re- cruits. --------o------ Easy Matter Wm. Colio: “Yes, I’m much pleased with myself.” J. Gray: “It doesn’t take much to please you.” A Grave Mistake “Hello! I want to order a box for tomorrow.” “What size?” “There will be six of us in the party.” “But they only come in single sizes. We will have to have it made special.” “So, this is the Lyceum?” “No, this is the undertaker.” —Widow.