Red Bank High School - Log Yearbook (Red Bank, NJ)

Page 17 text:

You Might Try This. Schenck—“You know, William, you’re managing to wake up earlier in the morn- ing.” B. O’Brien—“Yes, I’ve just bought a parrot.” Schenck—“Instead of an alarm clock?” Bill—“I already had an alarm clock, but I got so I didn’t pay any attention to it. Now I hang the parrot’s cage in my room and put the alarm clock under it. When the alarm clock goes off it startles the parrot and what that bird says would wake anybody up.” Cattle stray into queer places. We once saw a cow hide in a shoemaker's shop. G. McKenzie—“When was money first invented?” S. Dennis—“I dont know. When was it?” Gladys—“When the dove brought the greenback to Noah.” Lore Raver—“She sings nicely, doesn’t she?” B. Braisted—“Oh, yes; when she sings they have to close the windows.” Raver—“My goodness! What for?” Bill—“Her voice is so sweet it draws the flies.” A Difficult Request. Dot. Travis—“Do you sell invisible hair nets?” Clerk—“Yes, miss.” Dot—“Will you let me see one, please?” Long Known. L. Raver—“Father, my teacher said that ‘collect’ and ‘congregate’ mean the same thing. Do they?” Mr. Raver—“Perhaps they do, Lore; but you may tell your teacher that there is a vast difference between a congregation and a collection.” Why? Why is a person approaching a candle like a man getting off his horse? Because he is going to a-light. Why is a portrait like a member of congress? Because it is a representative. Why should all sober people go to rest directly after tea? Because when T is gone night is nigh. Why should a minister be believed? He is nearly always ae-eurate. Why are an egg and a colt alike? They must both be broken before they can be used. Why are bachelors like criminals? Because they hate to go to court. Why is a doctor the meanest man on earth? Because he treats you and then makes you pay for it. A big revolver—The World. A light business—Making gas. A pedestrian’s parting salutation—“Sole long.” How to find happiness—Look in a dictionary. “After the fare”—The conductor. Drawing from nature—Extracting teeth. A matter of interest—A coupon. The latest definition of an old maid—A woman that has been “made” a long- time. The latest thing out—The young man with the latchkey. 15

Page 16 text:

Complaining1 student—“Say, editor, why do you always sit on my jokes?” Editor—“If they had any point, I wouldn't.” Miss Beebe—“Elvin, leave the room.” Elvin—“I didn’t intend to take it with me.” Marion Many—“Do you approve of silk stockings, Mildred?” Mildred—“They’re all right as far as 1 can see.” He (with much enthusiasm)—“I could go on dancing like that forever.” She—“Oh, no; you couldn’t possibly. You’re bound to improve.”—Princeton Elvin—“The coach told me to stop everything that was hard on my wind.” Ellen—“Well, what did you stop?” Elvin—“Running.” The world is old, yet likes to laugh- New jokes are hard to find. A whole new editorial staff Cant tickle every mind. So if you meet some ancient joke Decked out in modern guise, Dont frown and call the thing a fake; Just laugh—dont be too wise. Editors: Sarah Lipack, Gladys Matthews. The officers of the Junior Class are: President, Marie Johnson; Vice President, Leon Wolcott; Secretary, Harry Mazza; Treasurer, Ethel Head. The Ring Committee consists of Gladys McKenzie, William Braisted and Marie Johnson, who deserve special credit for their ability in the choice selection of rings. The motto of the Junior Class today and hereafter is: “Crown every passing day with some good action.” Miss Beebe—“Mr. Hendrickson, can you tell us what the mean temperature of this room is?” Mr. Hendrickson (shivering)—“About as mean as it can be, ma’am.” Be hopeful of a man whose limitations are not yet known. Maybe he won’t reach them. Tiger. No Other. 14

Page 18 text:

Not as Much. Ed. Canzona—“Say, Wilkins, you spend a lot of time in your automobile.” S. Wilkins—“Sure, but not as much as 1 spend outside fixing: it up.” It seems as though Copeland Kell is doing sentry duty this year. Why? Watch some day and see for yourself! A Lesson in Physics. Professor—“What do heat and cold do?” Student—“Heat causes expansion and cold contraction.” Professor—“Now give me an example.” Student—“In the summer, when it is hot, the days are long. In the winter, when it is cold, they are short.” What Letter Comes After H? Teacher—“What letter comes after H?” Small boy—“Dunno.” Teacher—“What have I on each side of my nose?” Small boy—“Freckles.” ontore Editors: Carol Schroeder, George Hawkins, Vera Truex. The Sophomore A’s have had several class meetings this term. All were well con- ducted and well attended. The class has made many plans for the future and soon these will show results which will cause the envy of all the other classes. At a recent meeting it was decided that the Sophomore B’s come in with the A’s, taking the latter’s officers and colors. Kenneth Proctor is President; Donald Brower, Vice President; Vera Truex, Secretary, and Marion Courvoiser, Treasurer. Announcement Extraordinary. Early in the year a play will be presented by the Sophomores. It is now being- selected and rehearsals, etc., will soon be in full swing. Watch for details. Mrs. Kerr is to coach, having volunteered her competent services. ’NufT said! The Sophomore class wishes to express publicly its sincere thanks to Mrs. Kerr for the interest she is taking in the class play. We have our shining lights, yet none so bright as our Harold—“cub reporter”— for the Record. And someone was unkind enough to say that they weren’t so SURE of the re- porter part of it, but— 16