Red Bank High School - Log Yearbook (Red Bank, NJ)

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Complaining1 student—“Say, editor, why do you always sit on my jokes?” Editor—“If they had any point, I wouldn't.” Miss Beebe—“Elvin, leave the room.” Elvin—“I didn’t intend to take it with me.” Marion Many—“Do you approve of silk stockings, Mildred?” Mildred—“They’re all right as far as 1 can see.” He (with much enthusiasm)—“I could go on dancing like that forever.” She—“Oh, no; you couldn’t possibly. You’re bound to improve.”—Princeton Elvin—“The coach told me to stop everything that was hard on my wind.” Ellen—“Well, what did you stop?” Elvin—“Running.” The world is old, yet likes to laugh- New jokes are hard to find. A whole new editorial staff Cant tickle every mind. So if you meet some ancient joke Decked out in modern guise, Dont frown and call the thing a fake; Just laugh—dont be too wise. Editors: Sarah Lipack, Gladys Matthews. The officers of the Junior Class are: President, Marie Johnson; Vice President, Leon Wolcott; Secretary, Harry Mazza; Treasurer, Ethel Head. The Ring Committee consists of Gladys McKenzie, William Braisted and Marie Johnson, who deserve special credit for their ability in the choice selection of rings. The motto of the Junior Class today and hereafter is: “Crown every passing day with some good action.” Miss Beebe—“Mr. Hendrickson, can you tell us what the mean temperature of this room is?” Mr. Hendrickson (shivering)—“About as mean as it can be, ma’am.” Be hopeful of a man whose limitations are not yet known. Maybe he won’t reach them. Tiger. No Other. 14

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Pd rather be a Could Be, If I could not be an Are; For a Could Be is a May Be, With a chance of touching par. Pd rather be a Has Been Than a Might Have Been, by far; For a Might Have Been has never been, But a Has was once an Are. Van Horn—“I had a fall last night that rendered me unconscious for several hours. D. H.—“You dont say; where did you fall? V. H.—“I fell asleep. Schenek—“How did the serpents get to Laocoon, as he was on the land? Miss Wainwright—“Serpents are like eels, they swim in land as well as in the water.” (Heard just before the Red Bank-Leonardo football game, Thanksgiving.) Helen Linton—“I suppose those Leonardo fellows would go crazy if they beat Red Bank. Janet Cooper—“Yes, that’s why it’s a very sane school. First Senior—“Did your watch stop when it hit the floor? Second Ditto—“Sure, you bonehead; you didn’t think it would go right through, did you? Teacher—“Stop growling. Clever student—“I’m not, my hair snarls.” “What a beautiful dog, Miss Alice! exclaimed her bashful admirer. “Is he affectionate?” “Is he affectionate? she asked archly. “Indeed he is! Here, Boy, come show Gus how to kiss me? Janet Cooper tripped up to the counter in a music store where a new clerk was busy, and asked sweetly: “Have you ‘Kissed Me in the Moonlight?’ “No. It must have been the man at the other counter. I’ve only been here a week. What would happen if: Ethel Smock disturbed anyone? A1 Conover did not disturb anyone? Florence Finkelstein did not giggle? Marion Many had not a new crush? Schenck took a girl to a dance? Ethel Fix used powder? Frances Lane did not recite? Brick Hendrickson acted sensibly? Lou Lang minded her own affairs? Helen Linton had a shine? Van Horn felt unnecessary? Miss Beales was truly cross? Robinson did not talk? Ruth Matthews were without a powder puff? Hawkins had finished his speech—8th period history? The Juniors were worthy? 13

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You Might Try This. Schenck—“You know, William, you’re managing to wake up earlier in the morn- ing.” B. O’Brien—“Yes, I’ve just bought a parrot.” Schenck—“Instead of an alarm clock?” Bill—“I already had an alarm clock, but I got so I didn’t pay any attention to it. Now I hang the parrot’s cage in my room and put the alarm clock under it. When the alarm clock goes off it startles the parrot and what that bird says would wake anybody up.” Cattle stray into queer places. We once saw a cow hide in a shoemaker's shop. G. McKenzie—“When was money first invented?” S. Dennis—“I dont know. When was it?” Gladys—“When the dove brought the greenback to Noah.” Lore Raver—“She sings nicely, doesn’t she?” B. Braisted—“Oh, yes; when she sings they have to close the windows.” Raver—“My goodness! What for?” Bill—“Her voice is so sweet it draws the flies.” A Difficult Request. Dot. Travis—“Do you sell invisible hair nets?” Clerk—“Yes, miss.” Dot—“Will you let me see one, please?” Long Known. L. Raver—“Father, my teacher said that ‘collect’ and ‘congregate’ mean the same thing. Do they?” Mr. Raver—“Perhaps they do, Lore; but you may tell your teacher that there is a vast difference between a congregation and a collection.” Why? Why is a person approaching a candle like a man getting off his horse? Because he is going to a-light. Why is a portrait like a member of congress? Because it is a representative. Why should all sober people go to rest directly after tea? Because when T is gone night is nigh. Why should a minister be believed? He is nearly always ae-eurate. Why are an egg and a colt alike? They must both be broken before they can be used. Why are bachelors like criminals? Because they hate to go to court. Why is a doctor the meanest man on earth? Because he treats you and then makes you pay for it. A big revolver—The World. A light business—Making gas. A pedestrian’s parting salutation—“Sole long.” How to find happiness—Look in a dictionary. “After the fare”—The conductor. Drawing from nature—Extracting teeth. A matter of interest—A coupon. The latest definition of an old maid—A woman that has been “made” a long- time. The latest thing out—The young man with the latchkey. 15