Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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PART II Later that evening the suggestion was carried out. Captain Herrick stood at the top of the gangplank and viewed the oncoming procession. In a happy twosome were Pat Lane and Katy Maling, who had, in the 1940’s together run A Home to Build up Aged Bones and, when it folded up in 1951, both girls folded up with it. They were followed by Jimmie Robertson, Public Enemy No. 1 in Boston until 1993, when he turned over a new leaf and the sudden changed killed him. He was carrying on an ardent conversation with Don Plouff, former owner of Japanese Coffin Company who got locked in one of his coffins once and never did get out. Chatting about the possible success of the play were several eminent dramatic critics, David Littlefield, Bob Perry, Mary Menchions, and Phyllis Gormlie, each of whom had carried his profession from this world to the next. Re¬ porter Frannie Wheeler came sneaking along behind them trying to pick up some material for her daily col¬ umn “Snooping Susie”. Behind her came a representa¬ tive body of that exclusive men’s club of New York City. W. W. T. B. A., George Marchetti, Tom Ratchford, Wal¬ ter O’Connell and John Mentus (W. W. T. B. A. means, by the way, “We Want To Be Alone”—but that’s not saying with whom.) Suddenly Captain Herrick heard a commotion on the roof of the Houseboat. Glancing up he saw Maurice Proctor and Russ Ralston (you remember those two dashing playboys of the 1950’s) frantically signalling to Bruce Putnam, original owner of the Stop and Slop Res¬ taurant who had been pushed overboard by Roland Dew- hurst, a former swimming teacher at Vassar. Everyone was trying to instruct the victim as to how to get back on board. Once sure that all was under control, Captain Herrick again turned his attention to the oncoming crowd. He next recognized Flo Pierce and Ann Rich¬ mond, fashion stylists, whose modernistic hats had finally caught up with them. Close behind them came Mr. and Mrs. Eddie Mclntire with their nine children trailing along. And who was that running up the gang¬ plank as the Captain was about to raise it? Only Charlie Collins; late, as usual. Inside Andy Moores stood solemnly collecting tick¬ ets, of course a fitting job since his days as ticket col¬ lector at the Old Coward, and beside him was Barb Merritt, one-time feature bubble dancer, happily munch¬ ing pop-corn. Flitting gayly about, were program girls Priscilla Proctor, Ruth McMenamin, Evelyn Peters, Christine Meuse and Sarah Fennelly. Seated in the audience were Siegfried Pfeiffer and Joyce Pollitz, two more products of Zoot Suit opera who were blocking their ears upon hearing that hot music of A1 Gianascol’s Hepcat Band (revived after the old days) with Gordon Mills, world famous tuba player at the tuba, naturally, and Warren Martin, Gene Krupa’s pro¬ tege at the drums, “Snug” Shaw on the alto sax, Butch Sletterink and Bud Sherman on the clarinets, Alice Rob¬ inson, that famed founder of “Reet Beat” piano style, playing the “ivories”. Feature singer Elsie Lindquist and Mary McNeil, her rival, exchanged dagger-like looks. As the last chord of Moonlight Gin Fizz resound¬ ed through the theatre, the curtain went up on Act I of that exciting drama “The Return of Clarence”. The newcomers to Hades were pleased to see that ' the old cast of “Clarence” still remained—Marshall Davis and his leading lady, Barb Teel, Marion Langiell, Betty Campbell, Winnie Poland, Mary Puzick, Kenny Brown, Russ Coombs, Joe Anderson, and Bob Bingham. Between acts candy was distributed by Agnes Meuse, Juanita Lewis, Eloise Nichols and Dorothy Arnold. As the curtain went down on the fourth and last act of this smashing hil, the applause from a much pleased audience sounded through the Houseboat. From the remarks which Captain Herrick heard as the crowd filed out, the play had certainly been a great success. Beverly Winn PART III The next day, Captain Herrick anchored his boat at the Harbor of Harbor, long before the sun had risen. He was to take some of the new inhabitants of Hades on an “around-the-island” cruise. The first passengers were Paul Johnson, an embalmer, and his helper Robert Laetsch whom Paul had embalmed by mistake when his fiancee, Marcella Hayes had shown him a Ju Jitzi Trick and knocked him out by mistake. Kenny Gray, John Griffin, and Wilbur Doucette, joint partners in a beer parlor, were welcomed next. Their bartender, William Hudson, had thought up that witty ditty which had be¬ come the barroom slogan—“Walk out before you Pass out”. Who should the next passengers be but Lorraine Fox, Evelyn Greenleaf, Bette Ellis, and Martha Spauld¬ ing of that famous play by Henry Jacques “A Strip to Boston.” They were followed by Harry Irons and Thomas Hubbard, managers of the Scollay Square Opera House (The play had last been held there), who, in turn had been driven to the Devil by Ruth Kimball. Captain Herrick was much surprised to see Barb Glover and Connie Ham, the two most photographed women in Siberia, who were now honorary members of the Hades Health Club. Irene Keefe and Gloria King, their traveling companions, were also coming aboard. Next came Marcia Wentworth and Eleanor Will¬ iams, two comediennes who had died laughing at their own jokes. “Happy” Holmes, World War II flying ace who never came back, had to be talked out of flying over the island in the plane which he had designed himself and which he had built in his factory by John Hegarty and Walter Gallant, the best in the business. Happy’s secretary, Emily Hanley, finally convinced him that he should go by boat instead—she didn’t want to be the “girl he left behind.” Captain Herrick raised the gangplank and they started on their sight-seeing tour. Being curious, Paul Morrice and Nat Pestana, a pair of trapeze artists who hadn’t connected once (that was enough), asked Captain Herrick what he had done to become what he was now. He replied that Nancy Holcomb, Ralph Gibson and him¬ self had formed a monopoly on bassoons. Lucy Gon-

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(] I a s s Prophecy PART 1 ll a bright sunny afternoon. that day of June 11, 1999. Captain Herrick, proprietor of the majestic Houseboat R. H. S. 3 idly smoking his pipe on top deck when he heard a shrill whittle on the opposite shore of the River Styx. This, of course, meant that there Mere prospective jvassengers who had been accepted into Hades and Mere n »M awaiting transportation across the River Styx. After shouting an order oi “All hands o.i deck . Captain l»errick rushed to the steering wheel and prepared to lake over. In no time at alt the Houseboat had crossed the river and was patiently waiting ai Faith s Harbor to take on its new passengers. Captain nerrick stood anxiously at the top, waiting to accept their souls as payment for their journey across. And who should lw nrst in line hut Joe Merrill, Ksq., retired business manager ot Consolidated Tooth Pick Works. Herrick ' s nexi surprise was to see Charles Carroll come saunteiing up, followed by a whole crowd of giggling females. ay,’ shouted the Captain. “What was your racket, Carroll? “Oh, I was a Sultan in India. Captain, meet my Harem, Bernice Bridge, Ruth Crowell. Joan Ceasar and irginia Chute. Remember them, not had, eh what? The mob finally past, the Captain turned and lo and liehold! there was John Carney, old and gray, with whiskers to his feet. When asked by the Captain why he had aged so, he explained that his position as janitor of Meanie ' s Morgue had driven him to this condition and finally he had committed suicide. Tough luck, old man! Suddenly there was a terrifii splash. Someone had fallen overboard. In jumped three of the Houseboat ' s able liodicd crew, 1st mate Roliert Cail. 2nd mate Don Pais¬ ley and ship’s cook. Hank Carder. They fished out the unfortunate victim and who should it lx hut Marguerite Marstaller. She had been telling the people liehind her of her harrowing experience of being eaten by cannibals (thus sadly ending her life as a missionary in Africa) and she had walked right off tile gangplank. And to whom had she been talking hut Helen Ratchelder and Viola Aisenault. two former Ballet queens of the Paris Stage. Bringing up the rear was Dick Beaumont, famous catcher of the Chicago Big Wigs, who had I wen hit by a baseball and thus was no more- at least on earth. He was running pell mell to keep from getting hit by that wild man ut die auto rates, Dick Bowser, who wishing to bring his tar to Hades, was dining it up the gang¬ plank. “Hey. yelled Captain Herrick. “This is no leriA get that crate of! there! Bowser, seeing it was no use, t limited out, opened the tumble scat and out pop|ird Howie Bates. Crutge Black. Bot Merrill and David Crane, that famous Bar- her hop Ouailet, all of whom had died of German measles. “Guess it s no use fellas, crumbled Bowser. You ' ll have to pay your fare after all. Kvervone now on board, the Houseboat shifted its course and headed back to Hades. I pon arriving .it Hades Harbor, the new arrivals were greeted by cheers and yells and a hand, let! by Frances Aglio Drake, be¬ gan to plav “Mama s in de Cold Cold Ground . The reception committee consisting of Stevie Callan, Natalie Coker ami Natalie CutclifTe. a ll famous Hollywood stars who had been accidently machine gunned in a war pic¬ ture. came forth and escorted the new-comers to the Town Hall, where a banquet was to be held in honor of the new citizens. Once they had been seated at the table, the guests were able to ga e around a hit. Here and there they distinguished familiar faces: John Criniker, former mavor of New ork City who, they recalled bail iieen murdered by one of his own henchmen, Wallace Bailey, in 1992; Libby Burpee, his lovely secretary, who had committed suicide soon after; Boh Crosby, that famous tight rope walker who was over exhilerated while rope-walking once and well there he was; next to Bob was an old friend Dick Brooks, former Fire Chief of Heading who had, in 1938. died of an incurable case of hay fever. That face there looks familiar why it’s Bill Con- ton, once big-time agent for Arthur Murray who had danced himself to death; and there, too, were Priscilla Davis, Barbara Bailey and Klizabelh Boyd, those three fearless women pilots in the U. S. Air Corps who, in 1966, had tlown of! the F.arth and landed accidentally in Hades, where they have been ever since. After recog¬ nizing so many old friends, the guests were now able to enjoy their meal, which was served by Klinor Abbott and Dorothy Beasley, who had married into wealthy Knglish homes, had hated life, and, after death, both resolved to return to the simple way of doing things. The cook of this marvelous meal later made an appearance and who was it hut Kudv De Rosa who, in life, had done so well running the Kat, Drink and Pay When Served, that he was made ollieial banquet cook in Hades. The banquet now over, BevetIv Pitman, one-time opera singer for the Zoot uit Opera Company, led the audience in two verses of the National anthem “Satan Takrs a Holi- dav . The guests were then inv ilrd by those co-proprie- tors of the ‘A rllow Outpost , hddie Noonan and Liar- race Arsenault, ttwo carefree fellows on F.arth hut uow in Hades, running a very successful “Joint ) to attend an evening of dan« ing at their place. Before thrv could receive any answers, liob Anderson, famous Olympic runner who had finally run out of breath, came rushing over to insist that they attend the premiere of the “Re¬ turn of Clarence”, that sparkling hit (revived after all these v ear si whitli was to lie held that very evening on the Houseboat. Nancy Holcomb

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nam. who played durt (two hawmrui at oimt— yea, it was different to say the lea t i had to leave the country with Barbara King, her sccretarv. l Gilford. her pre-s agent, and lx»retta l rvassrur. her business manager, for protection. They later learned that no one wanted bas¬ tions and that the government of Guatemala objected to their using tin for such a thing. When asked to re¬ linquish thru supply of tin, they utterly refused. Stanley Hrjmowaky, of the Guatemala I. B. F.. finally caught up with them. Gilifon shot him. and because of this the entire company was hanged.- that intricate tale all sums up to how Gaptain Herrick, along with main others got to Hades. Hattie Camp came tripping up and with an Knglish accent • she finally achieved her ambition of going to F.ngiand but had l een killed while on air raid duty) asked if she might join. Bev Buckler, sweetheart of the Navy, Army and Marines, and Barb I)a is, the famous authoress of “How Green Was My Alley” in a game of shuffle-board were all deeply absorber! in the game when Statia Hoffet and Claire Johnson, wives of millionaires, strolled up and told them that they had taken their hus¬ bands’ millions and gone to see if what they said alxiut Hades was true. They found it quite interesting, but they missed their husbands. Ralph Frotten star pitcher of the “Chicken Hearted Nine —baseball team, who had l cen killed when hit by a line dri e, was playing catch with Arthur Foster, a farmer married to Jennie Gromyko (both had died of starvation -evidently Arthur ' s spring crop wasn ' t very successful). The smell of food greeted their nostrils and they knew it was close to dinner time . Katie Griflm sat down at the table beside Mary Higgins, her assistant. Katie was a gym teacher specializing in wrestling. Mary took care of all papers and law suits concerning broken arms and legs. Jean I hedge and Laura Hamm sat down near¬ ly. These two were well-known for their radio talks o.i beauty and the care of clothes. They were sponsored by Dot Doherty and Dot Fienemann, joint owners of Sloppy ' s Salve good for the face, tired feet, and with lettuce. After the delicious meal was finished, the boat returned to Harbor Heritor. There the captain left his charges. His duties were not quite completed. Beverly AA inn PART IV As the wean Captain Herrick returned toward the Faith ' s liaibor for the last cargo of shady shades a sweet song wafted to his ears and peering over the misty waters he recognized the vocalist as l»eing (iertrude Thieine, the songstress of “The Lair”, that exclusive dive managed hv (Jiff lou—aint and Bed Saunders. I pon drawing closer to the shore the captain s sore eves were gieeted hv the chorus of “Hie Lair which included Fdvthe Stanlev, Bette Walker, Virginia Ward, and Mar¬ jorie Webster, leading this arrav of pulchritude was Brverlv Winn, the hiilliaul protege of Hans Wiener. Suddenly this lianquil ene was interrupted bv tile sound of a heated aigument. Out of the shadows carne Rov Sherrod, the noted mechanic of Walter Stark. “King of the Spredwav. Rov was denying Hugger • accusa¬ tion that the cra«h. in which Hugger died, was caused by a mec hanical imperfection. Following them strolled Ann Si haeffer, mistress of the “Kiddies Kindergarten , arm in arm with Charlie Spear, president of the “Crumby ( hewing Gum Co.” At last Vnn has found an inexhaustible supply of gum. The crew then made the l oat fast to the pier and lowered the gangplank. Surveving the boat and its equipment with a critical eye was the American Scientific Board of Ex- ploration. This distinguished group was composed of I ' hvllis Springford. Gloria Shane. Martin Shapiro, Har¬ old Rogers and Kenneth Sawyer. Off in the distance could he seen the manly figure of l.eunard Bose that brilliant concert baritone soloist followed bv his admir¬ ers, the leading debutantes of New A ork: Alma Towle, Jean Sullivan and Louise Sias. Escorted by W alter Schofield, a prominent booker of orchestras, came Bea Ruderman the only woman who had become editor of “The l p Beat’ the magazine for “Kilties (just vocab for feminine “Cats ). Next on board was Bolic Schultz, the Dr. Christian of 1980. ijolic was escorting the leading lady of his latest picture, iola Stew art. Tenderly grasping a small plant, Alan W hitney, the noted horticulturist was inspecting the strange vegeta¬ tion which flourishes on the banks of the River Styx. He was accompanied by his competent stall of assistants: William Zitzovv, Donald Yilmot, Richard While and Joe Collins. Boh Turner, America’s No. I playboy was endeav¬ oring to persuade Tom Thornton, the manager of “The W olfpack Escort Service ' ' , to permit him to escort Betty Theodorou across the river. Betty was the originator of the new fashions which hail l een produced at Aline. Jeanne timp-on’ I ashion Shop in I’aris. Katherine White, the editor of the womans sport page for the “New A ork Script could Ik seen striving to get hv W eslev Ryan. AVes, the manager of Alike Ste- phanian the 1900 “Boxing W onder Boy ’’, was managing to keep her away from Mike. Mike seemed to he pre¬ occupied talking to Nancy White, the widow of Admiral Thornton Stru—. Thornton wa- killed while directing the fire of the cannon which sunk the Bismarck in 1950 in the last great sea battle of the second AA orld War. After a weary “all aboard the captain gave the order to hoist the gangplank and spread the sails and lh J boat slowly -tarted toward the oppo-ite bank. As the |w»at touched the opposite -hore there arose a clamor of shouts from the -hade alrradv there. The »un was rapidly -inking liehind the lofty peak- which surrounded the land of Hade- and darkness d r- ended over the happv group which wa- united after inanv years. The moi-t mi-t of the river now had inter- fu-ed with the sombre curiam of darkness whnh covered lhe eternal reunion from the eye of all mortals.