Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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(] I a s s Prophecy PART 1 ll a bright sunny afternoon. that day of June 11, 1999. Captain Herrick, proprietor of the majestic Houseboat R. H. S. 3 idly smoking his pipe on top deck when he heard a shrill whittle on the opposite shore of the River Styx. This, of course, meant that there Mere prospective jvassengers who had been accepted into Hades and Mere n »M awaiting transportation across the River Styx. After shouting an order oi “All hands o.i deck . Captain l»errick rushed to the steering wheel and prepared to lake over. In no time at alt the Houseboat had crossed the river and was patiently waiting ai Faith s Harbor to take on its new passengers. Captain nerrick stood anxiously at the top, waiting to accept their souls as payment for their journey across. And who should lw nrst in line hut Joe Merrill, Ksq., retired business manager ot Consolidated Tooth Pick Works. Herrick ' s nexi surprise was to see Charles Carroll come saunteiing up, followed by a whole crowd of giggling females. ay,’ shouted the Captain. “What was your racket, Carroll? “Oh, I was a Sultan in India. Captain, meet my Harem, Bernice Bridge, Ruth Crowell. Joan Ceasar and irginia Chute. Remember them, not had, eh what? The mob finally past, the Captain turned and lo and liehold! there was John Carney, old and gray, with whiskers to his feet. When asked by the Captain why he had aged so, he explained that his position as janitor of Meanie ' s Morgue had driven him to this condition and finally he had committed suicide. Tough luck, old man! Suddenly there was a terrifii splash. Someone had fallen overboard. In jumped three of the Houseboat ' s able liodicd crew, 1st mate Roliert Cail. 2nd mate Don Pais¬ ley and ship’s cook. Hank Carder. They fished out the unfortunate victim and who should it lx hut Marguerite Marstaller. She had been telling the people liehind her of her harrowing experience of being eaten by cannibals (thus sadly ending her life as a missionary in Africa) and she had walked right off tile gangplank. And to whom had she been talking hut Helen Ratchelder and Viola Aisenault. two former Ballet queens of the Paris Stage. Bringing up the rear was Dick Beaumont, famous catcher of the Chicago Big Wigs, who had I wen hit by a baseball and thus was no more- at least on earth. He was running pell mell to keep from getting hit by that wild man ut die auto rates, Dick Bowser, who wishing to bring his tar to Hades, was dining it up the gang¬ plank. “Hey. yelled Captain Herrick. “This is no leriA get that crate of! there! Bowser, seeing it was no use, t limited out, opened the tumble scat and out pop|ird Howie Bates. Crutge Black. Bot Merrill and David Crane, that famous Bar- her hop Ouailet, all of whom had died of German measles. “Guess it s no use fellas, crumbled Bowser. You ' ll have to pay your fare after all. Kvervone now on board, the Houseboat shifted its course and headed back to Hades. I pon arriving .it Hades Harbor, the new arrivals were greeted by cheers and yells and a hand, let! by Frances Aglio Drake, be¬ gan to plav “Mama s in de Cold Cold Ground . The reception committee consisting of Stevie Callan, Natalie Coker ami Natalie CutclifTe. a ll famous Hollywood stars who had been accidently machine gunned in a war pic¬ ture. came forth and escorted the new-comers to the Town Hall, where a banquet was to be held in honor of the new citizens. Once they had been seated at the table, the guests were able to ga e around a hit. Here and there they distinguished familiar faces: John Criniker, former mavor of New ork City who, they recalled bail iieen murdered by one of his own henchmen, Wallace Bailey, in 1992; Libby Burpee, his lovely secretary, who had committed suicide soon after; Boh Crosby, that famous tight rope walker who was over exhilerated while rope-walking once and well there he was; next to Bob was an old friend Dick Brooks, former Fire Chief of Heading who had, in 1938. died of an incurable case of hay fever. That face there looks familiar why it’s Bill Con- ton, once big-time agent for Arthur Murray who had danced himself to death; and there, too, were Priscilla Davis, Barbara Bailey and Klizabelh Boyd, those three fearless women pilots in the U. S. Air Corps who, in 1966, had tlown of! the F.arth and landed accidentally in Hades, where they have been ever since. After recog¬ nizing so many old friends, the guests were now able to enjoy their meal, which was served by Klinor Abbott and Dorothy Beasley, who had married into wealthy Knglish homes, had hated life, and, after death, both resolved to return to the simple way of doing things. The cook of this marvelous meal later made an appearance and who was it hut Kudv De Rosa who, in life, had done so well running the Kat, Drink and Pay When Served, that he was made ollieial banquet cook in Hades. The banquet now over, BevetIv Pitman, one-time opera singer for the Zoot uit Opera Company, led the audience in two verses of the National anthem “Satan Takrs a Holi- dav . The guests were then inv ilrd by those co-proprie- tors of the ‘A rllow Outpost , hddie Noonan and Liar- race Arsenault, ttwo carefree fellows on F.arth hut uow in Hades, running a very successful “Joint ) to attend an evening of dan« ing at their place. Before thrv could receive any answers, liob Anderson, famous Olympic runner who had finally run out of breath, came rushing over to insist that they attend the premiere of the “Re¬ turn of Clarence”, that sparkling hit (revived after all these v ear si whitli was to lie held that very evening on the Houseboat. Nancy Holcomb

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Class Will We, the highly esteemed class of ’42, more than mindful of the fact that we are rapidly approaching the end, wish to leave these last few possessions to those worthy of their ownership: We bequeath: 1. To Miss Zimmermann Nancy Holcomb’s white mice. May the air “up country” prove more wholesome than that here in the city. 2. To Russ Coombs this slightly undersized pair of trousers that he may never again come so close to catastrophe as he did at the dress rehearsal of “Clar- ence. 3. To Mr. Fitzgerald this guide to ski resorts— need we give a reason? 4. To our sophisticated Winnie Poland, otherwise known as “Queenie La Flame,” the bubble that she may always have a source of income. 5. To “Hugger” Stark honorary membership in the W. C. T. U. This is an honor bestowed on very few of our colleagues. 6. The class of ’42 leaves the class of ’43—alone! 7. To Martha Spaulding this cook book—guaran¬ teed to bring favorable results. Undoubtedly she and Russ will find a worthwhile use for it in years to come. 8. To Dorothy Beasley a map of New York City— may it comfort her when the going in the Bay State gets tough. 9. For future classes we have arranged to have an automatic red light installed in each room that they may know when the two way system is in action. 10. To Nancy Holcomb this flute that she may some day realize her life’s ambition—namely, to be first flutist with a symphonic orchestra. 11. To our cherub Charlie Spear this curling iron. Straight hair in Charlie’s case would be cataclysmic. Long may it curl—Charlie! 12. To our tres fickle Bruce Putnam we leave the sophomore girls and to playboy Ralph Gibson the junior girls. 13. To Miss Tisdale this long, black whip, that she may crack it around the ears of our many inatten¬ tive students. 14. To Nancy White, our head cheer leader we leave this package of vitamin pills in hopes that they will help you regain some of the vitality you so nobly donated at the fall games. Please share it with that bevy (get it?) of beauties who aided you. 15. On Bob Merrill we bestow this special priority on bow ties that his colorful supply may never be ex¬ hausted. 16. To our jovial friend and teacher, “Pop” Wheeler, we offer this set of tires so that he may keep on bringing the kids to school. 17. To football Captain Joe Merrill we leave this biography of Demosthenes, the famed Greek orator. We hope you’ll profit by the example. 18. To Charlie Cummings this single rose. You, Charlie, are the only regular enrollee at this institution of learning who has been cheerful each and every day. 19. To that great Spanish athlete Andy Moores we leave this little China bull that he may more easily throw it. 20. To “Hap” Holmes we give this package of “Wings” with which to pursue his aeronautical ambi¬ tions. 21. To Jean Dodge we leave this grid (-le) iron to remind her constantly of her paramount obsession, football. 22. To Miss Reed we leave this four-leaf clover. May it bring you all the luck you are so deserving of. 23. To Miss Ernst and Miss Simone this credit slip for the first payment on a perfectly stunning, guar- anteed-never-to-fail S. S. Kresge can opener. 24. To Mr. Sussmann we leave this two months’ scholarship to Arthur Murray’s School of the Dance so that he may pass on to the faculty the new steps since the conga. 25. To Bea Ruderman we leave a waterglass an essential part of the equipment of all eminent lecturers. 26. To Glo Shane this paint, not the type that most girls would be given because it is very obvious that mother nature has taken care of that, but a reminder that we are looking forward to seeing more of her illus¬ trations as fine as the December cover of our Pioneer. 27. To Barb Davis we leave this one-way ticket to New York for we know when the editor of MADEMOI¬ SELLE has interviewed Barb and viewed her literary accomplishments, she’ll never be allowed to return to Reading. 28. For Mr. Dixon—we have thought of nothing worthy of you. We can only say our most enjoyable and lucrative periods have been those in Room 2. 29. To Anne Schaeffer we leave this pug-nosed pekinese—on certain conditions: 1. That you won’t dissect him when you get to college. 2. That you won’t give him a blue rinse. 30. To Marion Langiell we leave these bobby pins (they were about to be melted down into a jeep). Please, Mrs. Martyn, always wear your hair in the up-do it was so cute. 31. To Bette Ellis, for your invaluable assistance in promoting the Pioneer, this blank check upon which we would like to write a large number but until the Pioneer becomes a paying proposition you will have to accept our verbal thanks. 32. To Mr. Kibbe we leave this current Petty Cal¬ endar to replace those models who will soon leave the third floor workshop. 33. To the composers of this gem, we three wits, we leave a cell where we may spend the rest of our years for not being able to meet payments on these objects. Bea Ruderman Charlie Spear Kenneth Brown

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PART II Later that evening the suggestion was carried out. Captain Herrick stood at the top of the gangplank and viewed the oncoming procession. In a happy twosome were Pat Lane and Katy Maling, who had, in the 1940’s together run A Home to Build up Aged Bones and, when it folded up in 1951, both girls folded up with it. They were followed by Jimmie Robertson, Public Enemy No. 1 in Boston until 1993, when he turned over a new leaf and the sudden changed killed him. He was carrying on an ardent conversation with Don Plouff, former owner of Japanese Coffin Company who got locked in one of his coffins once and never did get out. Chatting about the possible success of the play were several eminent dramatic critics, David Littlefield, Bob Perry, Mary Menchions, and Phyllis Gormlie, each of whom had carried his profession from this world to the next. Re¬ porter Frannie Wheeler came sneaking along behind them trying to pick up some material for her daily col¬ umn “Snooping Susie”. Behind her came a representa¬ tive body of that exclusive men’s club of New York City. W. W. T. B. A., George Marchetti, Tom Ratchford, Wal¬ ter O’Connell and John Mentus (W. W. T. B. A. means, by the way, “We Want To Be Alone”—but that’s not saying with whom.) Suddenly Captain Herrick heard a commotion on the roof of the Houseboat. Glancing up he saw Maurice Proctor and Russ Ralston (you remember those two dashing playboys of the 1950’s) frantically signalling to Bruce Putnam, original owner of the Stop and Slop Res¬ taurant who had been pushed overboard by Roland Dew- hurst, a former swimming teacher at Vassar. Everyone was trying to instruct the victim as to how to get back on board. Once sure that all was under control, Captain Herrick again turned his attention to the oncoming crowd. He next recognized Flo Pierce and Ann Rich¬ mond, fashion stylists, whose modernistic hats had finally caught up with them. Close behind them came Mr. and Mrs. Eddie Mclntire with their nine children trailing along. And who was that running up the gang¬ plank as the Captain was about to raise it? Only Charlie Collins; late, as usual. Inside Andy Moores stood solemnly collecting tick¬ ets, of course a fitting job since his days as ticket col¬ lector at the Old Coward, and beside him was Barb Merritt, one-time feature bubble dancer, happily munch¬ ing pop-corn. Flitting gayly about, were program girls Priscilla Proctor, Ruth McMenamin, Evelyn Peters, Christine Meuse and Sarah Fennelly. Seated in the audience were Siegfried Pfeiffer and Joyce Pollitz, two more products of Zoot Suit opera who were blocking their ears upon hearing that hot music of A1 Gianascol’s Hepcat Band (revived after the old days) with Gordon Mills, world famous tuba player at the tuba, naturally, and Warren Martin, Gene Krupa’s pro¬ tege at the drums, “Snug” Shaw on the alto sax, Butch Sletterink and Bud Sherman on the clarinets, Alice Rob¬ inson, that famed founder of “Reet Beat” piano style, playing the “ivories”. Feature singer Elsie Lindquist and Mary McNeil, her rival, exchanged dagger-like looks. As the last chord of Moonlight Gin Fizz resound¬ ed through the theatre, the curtain went up on Act I of that exciting drama “The Return of Clarence”. The newcomers to Hades were pleased to see that ' the old cast of “Clarence” still remained—Marshall Davis and his leading lady, Barb Teel, Marion Langiell, Betty Campbell, Winnie Poland, Mary Puzick, Kenny Brown, Russ Coombs, Joe Anderson, and Bob Bingham. Between acts candy was distributed by Agnes Meuse, Juanita Lewis, Eloise Nichols and Dorothy Arnold. As the curtain went down on the fourth and last act of this smashing hil, the applause from a much pleased audience sounded through the Houseboat. From the remarks which Captain Herrick heard as the crowd filed out, the play had certainly been a great success. Beverly Winn PART III The next day, Captain Herrick anchored his boat at the Harbor of Harbor, long before the sun had risen. He was to take some of the new inhabitants of Hades on an “around-the-island” cruise. The first passengers were Paul Johnson, an embalmer, and his helper Robert Laetsch whom Paul had embalmed by mistake when his fiancee, Marcella Hayes had shown him a Ju Jitzi Trick and knocked him out by mistake. Kenny Gray, John Griffin, and Wilbur Doucette, joint partners in a beer parlor, were welcomed next. Their bartender, William Hudson, had thought up that witty ditty which had be¬ come the barroom slogan—“Walk out before you Pass out”. Who should the next passengers be but Lorraine Fox, Evelyn Greenleaf, Bette Ellis, and Martha Spauld¬ ing of that famous play by Henry Jacques “A Strip to Boston.” They were followed by Harry Irons and Thomas Hubbard, managers of the Scollay Square Opera House (The play had last been held there), who, in turn had been driven to the Devil by Ruth Kimball. Captain Herrick was much surprised to see Barb Glover and Connie Ham, the two most photographed women in Siberia, who were now honorary members of the Hades Health Club. Irene Keefe and Gloria King, their traveling companions, were also coming aboard. Next came Marcia Wentworth and Eleanor Will¬ iams, two comediennes who had died laughing at their own jokes. “Happy” Holmes, World War II flying ace who never came back, had to be talked out of flying over the island in the plane which he had designed himself and which he had built in his factory by John Hegarty and Walter Gallant, the best in the business. Happy’s secretary, Emily Hanley, finally convinced him that he should go by boat instead—she didn’t want to be the “girl he left behind.” Captain Herrick raised the gangplank and they started on their sight-seeing tour. Being curious, Paul Morrice and Nat Pestana, a pair of trapeze artists who hadn’t connected once (that was enough), asked Captain Herrick what he had done to become what he was now. He replied that Nancy Holcomb, Ralph Gibson and him¬ self had formed a monopoly on bassoons. Lucy Gon-