Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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PAGE SIXTEEN THE PIONEER YE WHIRLPOOL OF KNOWLEDGE Question: Is world disarmament possible ? Answer: It is possible but not prob¬ able. If the seeker of knowledge cares to listen to Philip Parker and Stanley Low, he will receive much illumina¬ tion on BOTH SIDES of the question. Question: I am a love-sick young man infatuated with a beautiful girl. I am dying a slow death because she spurns all my advances. What shall I do ? Answer: Ordinarily Ye Master Mind does not answer questions of love or the future. However this is clear, if you are as bad off as you claim, you had better hasten your slow death by jumping under the first auto you see. I wish you the best of luck and hope the auto is moving fast enough to kill you instantly. Question : I have a very fine young lady with whom I have kept company for a long time. Her parents are very strict, however, and compel her to be home by 11:00. What shall I do? Answer: It is hard to believe that such a state of affairs could exist in this modern world. The best remedy I can suggest is that during the day¬ light saving of summer months you should set your watch back an hour and go by standard time. Perhaps your ingenuity will suggest a similar method for the winter. Question : Of what use is an alarm clock ? Answer: Ye Master Mind is con¬ vinced than an alarm clock is an in¬ strument of torture. Although the guillotine immediately puts its victims out of all their miseries, the alarm clock brings its audience into the rout¬ ine and troubles of a new day. Ye Master Mind urges an “Anti-alarm clock society” for the prevention of cruelty to humans. Question: What are “wise cracks”? Answer: Ye Master Mind says that a “wise crack” is an instantaneous thought which the originator thinks is a witty remark. Of course we can’t guarantee the effect it has on the people around. WE SUGGEST THAT: Gertrude MacAuley wear a bathing suit to Chemistry. Dorothy Berle dress at home. Two certain young men pay less at¬ tention to their “water waves”. Allan Temple study his French. Newer and snappier records be bought for the type-room. Arlene Browne use her telephone less. Kenneth Larrabee cease to be such a desperate woman-hater. Midyear and final exams be omitted. Earline Austin bring a couch to History. The Orchestra tame those “Wild Horses”. More contributions to the Pioneer be passed in. A skidding contest be held. Several have been getting a lot of practice lately. Lyman Belknap cease driving his car with the back curtain down. Sully use “horsemen” instead of stumbling with “cavalry”. Truesdell Fife study to be an orator. Mr. Gates tabulate in his vade me- cum the notations that hedonism is not the modern Zeitgeist and that the prevalence of epizooty among equine quadrupeds is extreme solely in entre-pots. Really though, Mr. Gates, we’re suggesting that you keep out of the dollar and a quarter words in class. William Burpee be called “Precious”. Talbot Emery take home a Latin book at least once a month. Helen Tibbetts do a type exercise right the first time. Ham Burgess join the Boy Scouts. Stanley Low and Marion Hilts learn a new dance step before the next dance.

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J OUR ALPHABET

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PAGE SEVENTEEN THE PIONEER J OKES I. B. — I play the piano just to kill time. E. A. — You certainly have a good weapon. R. C. (gently) — Can you drive with one hand? Bud (eagerly) — You bet I can. R. C. — Here, have an apple. S. L. — I’m an awful ladies’ man. L. N. — That’s right, I’ve seen you with some awful ladies. A Classa A Danca A data Perchanca Out Lata A Classa A Quizza No Passa Gee Whizza. Lofty Senior — You Sophs remind me of the ancient Greeks. Eager Soph — How’s ’at? Our classic features ? L. S. — Nope, your marble domes. Any Sophomore —• Will people be surprised when you graduate? P.-No, — they’ve been ex¬ pecting it for several years. Miss N. C. (referring to linesman) — “Now isn’t it stupid to have these surveyors working here while the game is going on?” Nichols (to Murphy) — Is that clear now ? Murphy — As clear as mud. Nichols — Well, that covers the ground. One Reading High Teacher to an¬ other — I maintain that lovemaking is just the same as it ever was. The other — How do you know? First one —I just read about a Greek maiden who sat and listened to a lyre all night. Mr. Halpin (referring to problem on black-board) — Now watch the board closely and I’ll run through it again. Dear Mr. Colgate, The other day I bought a tube of your shaving cream. It says, “No mug required.” What shall I shave? Yours truly, A Sophomore Mr. Halpin — What do we mean when we say that the whole is great¬ er than any of its parts ? Mary F. — One of my aunt’s dough¬ nuts. The gum-chewing girl And the cud-chewing cow Are somewhat alike, Yet different somehow. What difference? Oh, yes, I see it all now. It’s the thoughtful look On the face of the cow. C.-You can’t arrest me, I’m a student. Cop — Ignorance is no excuse.