Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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.«11111111111111111111 mi 111 ii mi ii i ii PAGE TWELVE THE PIONEER Fair and Warmer Mr. Halpin—(in geometry) : If you’re cold you’d better close the window. Parsons : Oh no. I’ll be warm in a minute. There’ll be enough hot air when the class starts reciting. A Heavy Grudge Mr. Halpin—(after blackboard ruler has just fallen down behind his back) : The next one who throws anything like that at me had better watch out. Original Mrs. Flower: Who was Antony? Skidmore : Heselton was,—the last time we read. Continued Performance Rastus : “Whah yo’ gwine?” Sambo: “Home.” Rastus : “Home ! Ah thought yo’ and yo’ missis had a ruckus dis mo’nin’.” Sambo : “Yeah—huh. But Ah done jes thought o’ somepin’ mo’ to say.” (Exchange) Safe Either Way Anxious Old Lady: “I say, my good man, is this boat going up or down?” Deckhand : “Well, she’s a leaky old tub, mum, so I shouldn’t wonder if she was going down. But then, again, her b’ilers aint none to good, so she might go up.” (Exchange) Nothing But the Truth Employer : “What was your former line of work?” Applicant: “I was an organist.” Employer : “And why did you give it up?” Applicant: “The monkey died.” (Exchange) Our Own Funnies Mut and Jeff—David Bowers and Frank Howard Pearl—Pearl Holmes Rosie—Lucille Ware Freddie the Shiek—Charlie Sweetser Mac—Albert Mussels Smitty—Lee Zwicker Harold Teen—Cy Weeks Lillums—Eunice Albee The man in the Brown (??) Derby— Malcolm Bredbury Boob McNutt—Billy Willson Desperate Ambrose—Ambrose Knowl- ton Spark Plug—Donald Johnson Joe and His Car—Joe Carter and Plis Car Gas Buggies—The Sunkist, The Purple Taxi and the Doodlebug 11 n mm ii ii 11 m i immmiimimmiiimiiimmimium i minimi mu nut i mi i iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmiiiiiiiiimmmmiiimiiiimiii 11 m iiiiiiiiiiiimimmiimii mu imiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiuiiiimi “UMBRELLA SAM” I’ll tell you how a young fellow in school came to be called “Umbrella Sam.” At the school he was always trying to shield some one in some way. “Take care there!” he would say. “Next thing your ball will go through the window’, and then you’ll be pun¬ ished.” It was said on the school ground that Sam w r ould lie awake all night studying how to keep a play¬ mate from getting a whipping. I don’t know whether that was true, but I do know that he w’alked two blocks out of his way just to prevent little Kitty Gray from being scared by Butcher Adam’s fierce dog. “Ho!” Sam declared, “I’d just as lief go this w r ay every night.” “He’s keeping the storm off Jimmy,” said a boy one day, pointing to w’here Sam stood with his arms around the trembling little fellow, while big “Bully” Smouse stood over them shaking his fists and threatening. “He makes a pretty good umbrella,” said the teacher. “I should feel proud mmimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmiiiiiiw

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THE PIONEER PAGE ELEVEN Spring Fever At this time of year with the warm weather here No one feels much like working. I take home my English, Physics and Latin Certainly good intentions are not lack¬ ing. It is seven at night and all is well I’ve just started my studies when I hear a bell. At the door is a friend with his “Super Four” Who invites me to go on a sea-shore tour. My studies surely ought to be done, But, with the moon up, the stars bright, A ride pleases more than with Caesar to fight, My conscience avails me none. Early next morning home I come Tired and hungry, but I’ve had my fun. L. M. ’29. Who wants to know? Purchaser: What is the charge for this battery? Garageman: One and a half volts. Purchaser: Well, how much is that in American money? Brightness “Know anything about Shakespeare’s works ? “What kind of a factory is it?” (Exchange). Interested Workers Boss : What are you two guys doing walking up the stairs so slowly? 1st Laborer : We’re workin’! We’re carryin’ this desk upstairs. Boss : I don’t see any desk. 2nd Laborer: For de Lord’s sake, Pat, we forgot the desk! (Exchange) Beautiful But Dumb Mate (pointing to inscribed plate on deck) : And this is where our brave captain fell. Fair Young Thing: I don’t wonder, I almost tripped over it myself. (Exchange) It’s Cheaper Is Gunning a man you can trust ? That fellow? Say, he’s so crooked the wool he pulls over your eyes is half cotton. (Exchange) Zoo-ology The ancient History class was dis¬ cussing color-blindness when the fol¬ lowing incident occurred : Mr. Taylor: Now who can answer this? Is a Zebra a black animal with white stripes, or a white animal with black stripes? Miss Knight: It isn’t either. It’s a yellow animal with brown stripes. Mr. Taylor: Well,—it must have been a dirty one you saw.

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THE PIONEER PAGE THIRTEEN if I could do as good service.” “Umbrella Sam.” D. B. ’28. And from that day he was called A COLD BATH BEFORE BREAKFAST It was a crisp, cold morning in Jan¬ uary. As I jumped from my bed, I felt unusually ambitious. “Guess I’ll take a cold dip,” I said half-aloud, and followed my words by opening wide the cold water faucet. The water flowed in torrents, and a drop splashed on me. Ooh, how cold it felt. I shivered, and my arms were all gooseflesh. “A little drop of innocent water shall not prevent me from my bath,” I said to myself. The tub was full. Now I would show how heroic I was. I put one foot over the edge of the tub and paused before dropping it into the water. Apprehen¬ sive chills crept up my back, but ignor¬ ing them I made a desperate attempt, and succeeded in putting one toe into the icy water. The toes of the other foot now were in the water. Slowly, hesitantly, my feet went deeper and deeper, and oh, how they ached! I could never take a dip in that icy water. I had decided to take it though, so I did. Holding my breath and gathering my courage I made ready to plunge in, when suddenly I slipped. Straight into the tub I went. I got out quicker than I went in. One cold dip in the winter would suffice for a lifetime. D. G. ’28. CLOCKS Have you ever been alone at night, and suddenly become conscious of the incessant ticking of the clock? It may have had a cheering effect on your lonesome spirit, or it may have jarred your nerves and made you want to heave the clock through the window. It is interesting to note the many different tones and moods the clocks and their varied tickings may show. The friendly Big Ben in the kitchen ticks away the long hours of the day, his black face shining in the sunlight. At night he stands guard, and gleams through the darkness with an eerie greenish light. The little ivory bedroom clock is a quiet sentinel, and, unnoticed because he lacks the magic power of giving light in darkness, ticks softly, yet reck¬ lessly, as the precious hours of sleep fly by. His face, when seen in the daylight, is a wee bit awry, because of a careless workman’s neglect. But it gives him a happy-go-lucky air, and makes him pleasant to look at, a relief from the monotonous straight¬ ness of the features of other clocks. In addition to these, there is the school electric clock, whose tick is dully mechanical, and dreadfully slow. The office clock is another slow clock, drearily ticking off the hours of work. But all ticks change sometimes, and even these guardians of the working hours hurry a little, and life goes along with a hop, skip, and jump. Then, when the time for work is over, and we leave to do pleasanter things, the clocks must go on ticking. Just imagine staying in one place, with but one thing to do, day after day and night after night, just tick, tick, tick! E. M. ’28. HAUNTED LIBRARIES I wandered into my library one day, and as I sat in my deep armchair by the fire, I looked around at the shelves filled with my friends, the books. Whether I dozed or not I do not re¬ member, but suddenly the room seemed peopled with characters of long ago. I saw Plato, the great Greek philoso-