Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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The Pioneer Page Twenty-five another interpreter has just interpreted, that is, interpretingly speaking, of course. Then I sought out Miss Cornelia Cell. Miss Cell, you know, is seeing the world as the living skeleton, with Barnum and Bailey’s. She weighs at present, fifty pounds, more or less. At this moment I happened to remem¬ ber a Miss Conefy in our class. Well, I didn’t have to search far for her, for she is so high in the business world that the camera picked her up very easily. She had just, at that time, graduated from the college of the Shredded Wheat, other¬ wise known as the Atlantic and Pacific. Speaking of the high and majestic positions reminds me of Chief Mate Elmer Goodwin. For several days I in¬ vestigated Mr. Goodwin’s case in hopes that I might get him in his most typical and grand position and I finally secured a picture. As I turned the camera around I hap¬ pened to pass by the ‘‘unknown country ’ ’ post with an unlooked for result. If I had not gone past this position I never would have caught Mr. Sherwood Upton in his native haunts. He is now, as you are perhaps well aware of, the wild man with Barnum and Bailey’s. He was theii in his native wfilds practicing for the summer season. With the same organization there are two other members of our class. I say two but I hardly know whether to call the Scanlon twins two or one. Because of their peculiar affinity for each other they have now grown together and are Pilled as the ‘ 1 only original Siamese twins there ever were or was. ’ ’ While talking about foreign countries it may be well to take a peek at our old friend Frank Graupner. Frank, you know, is now head of the Oshkosh, Maine, fire department. We were able to get him very busily occupied at his business. Now, to come back to the good old U. S. A. let us look at Miss Virginia Forbes who is now an artist. In this scene she is painting a water color of an autumn sunset in May, in oil. From; the looks of it it should find a ready cus¬ tomer. A short ways from this the camera picked up a very striking advertisement. It was one which caught the eye at once. From the Maxfield Parrish color scheme I recognized it at once as the work of Miss Elizabeth Berry. You know she does all the advertising for the Gargle Tooth Powder Company wdiich or iginated the saying, “Four out of every five have it, the other knows where to get it.” As the camera was still on the “art” connection I swung the lens about to see what else I might pick up. I was agree¬ ably surprised to come across Miss Ella Weale who now resides in the Latin quarter of Venice. She does facial por¬ traits and art studies now wholly. They say she put the ‘ 1 art ” in artistic, so high has she risen. However, “Art” takes in more than mere paint daubers, so as I continued to turn the lens I came across several of my old classmates. The first of these was that celebrated midget, Miss Mar¬ garet Adams, who is now making good in the concert line where she has become a famous pianist. It takes a good piano to keep up with her. To the music world of fame our class of 1926 has added many personalities. Besides Miss Adams I came across a Miss Elizabeth Mercer who represents ‘ 1 finesse ” in the way of extracting melody out of one mere piano. The next one to be seen was Miss Kathleen Merritt, the noted violin vir¬ tuoso. She is now touring the country. Unfortunately, however, I was only able to see her in her own suite where she was playing to her one perpetual audience. The next to be viewed was Miss Esther Southwick, the famous designer of clothing. Miss Southwick, to sum it up in brief, is to design what cloth is to clothes. In this scene she is por- tiayed at her best liked study. Another addition to the music world from our class is Madame Mussells, the concert soprano. It is said that one hundred thousand people hear her flute¬ like bass notes a year. That is recom¬ mendation plus to any one. While we are discussing the stage let us turn to the male section of the class and see what they have to offer. There are not so many but still it was to be expected. The first person to be noticed was a person almost unknown to me. His

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Page Twenty-four The Pioneer our plunge into the world. We have played our part as sojourners in the land of education. Now we are ready to make private entries on the book of time and the pages of history. As we sever to make these personal entries, may we take with us those closing w T ords of Longfellow’s “Psalm of Life”: And, departing leave behind us, Footprints, on the sands of time. Footprints, that perhaps another, Sailing o’er Life’s solemn main, A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, Seeing may take heart again. Let us, then, be up and doing, With a heart for any fate; Still achieving, still pursuing, Learn to labor and to wait. Harlan! J. Hook ’ 26 . for lljr (Class of In order to bring you to the full real¬ ization of how I came to possess the fol¬ lowing facts let me relate my experi¬ ences : My name is Alzabar P. Blop. I am by profession an Ornithologist sent out by the Smithsonian Institution for the pur¬ poses of research. I set up my base at the junction of the Ipswich and Amazon rivers and proceeded with investigations. The second day out I chanced upon a ver¬ itable “find” in the common vernacular. In the tip of a three foot scrub pine there was found a bird hithertofore con¬ sidered extinct, The Apteryx Australis or Flightless Kiwi, with a wing spread of twenty-seven feet. Of course we crept upon him unper¬ ceived and I put three large pieces of rock salt on the first and second primaries of his folded wings—enough to disable any bird. After he had been apparently subdued I sat astride him to observe his bright Vermillion auriculars the better. Suddenly, without a bit of warning, I found myself ten feet up in the air and rising rapidly. There was not a thing to do but hold on tightly and hope. Up, up, and up he circled. The earth began to round out, to recede and shrink in size. It became a small globe, a dot, and still we went up. After what seemed an interminable time I began to feel a sensation of light and warmth. Then we stopped and I raised my head to find myself at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter peering out at me. Apparently we had arrived. However, I fear I am taking too much time, so let it suffice to state that I spent several delightful days with St. Peter, during which I was shown many mys¬ teries. One of these was the new photoradio- active camera by the aid of which one is enabled to photograph any person, scene, or place on any world. Naturally I became interested and with the kind per¬ mission of Saint Peter I was able to secure some unusual likenesses of the members of the class in which I was rather a drab member. These I brought back with me and it is now my privilege to show them to you. It is altogether fitting and proper that I first present the one under whose guid¬ ance we were brought together in the stately conclaves of our senior year— Mr. or rather, Captain Charles Bice J ones. Captain Jones is one of the few of our class who realized his ambition. That was, in his case, to become a sea captain. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Captain Jones, commander of the ocean-going swan “Lydia P.” Next let us see the second in command of our 1926 class—Mr. Bussell C. Barnes. Mr. Barnes, I believe, set his mind on becoming a civil engineer. I am glad to say that he, too, realized his hopes. He now has charge of a whole elevator in the one-storied La Page skyscraper. You notice he is very civil to ladies. I now put in the gilhickey which en¬ abled me to see in unknown countries. The first person I endeavored to see was Miss Lois Baker, the feminine Burton Holmes. She was then in Argoland, a province of Yap. Her travelogues are quite remarkable. I next turned to the case of Miss Flor¬ ence Baker, the Government Interpreter. She has just finished interpreting and checking up, the interpretations which

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Page Twenty-six The Pioneer name? It almost slipped my mind, ah, yes, Donald Lyons. “Ding” as he is called in the common vernaculars, is now on Keith’s circuit. He has a rather fetching little act entitled, 1 ‘ The Lyon’s Den.” A little apart from the stage, but still adaptable, is the case of Mr. John In¬ galls, otherwise known as “Mugwump” Ingalls. He is a native dance instructor to the Navajo Indians on their reserva¬ tions. Here his rather sparse hair is in good standing. Now let us put the dial on the space marked “Business.” Immediately the slide is full of faces for in the strict business world our class has had much to do. The first of these to be seen was Mr. David Riseman. Mr. Riseman now has a flourishing business in New York. In¬ deed, as many clients call to see him as do any others. This is because of his business policy, ‘ ‘ Give all, take none. ’ ’ Just outside of New York there is a pretty little island called Coney Island. On this island I happened to look and there I saw Mr. John Condon. He is the head machinist for all the three popcorn machines there in duty now. This made me think of the other mem¬ bers of our class mechanically declined. So I immediately looked for Mr. Otis Symonds. I was not long in finding him for he was situated not far from Mr. John Condon. He now has an enviable position in the great Ford factory at Osmond, New York. Not far from here we found the large establishment of “Mr. Walter Doucette and Co., Cabinet Makers de Luxe. ’ ’ Mr. Doucette was to be seen himself taking measurements for a cabinet. These cabinets have to be made very strong as to resist the action of the moist dirt which surrounds them. We Avondered hoAV he could keep up such a large business, but as I turned the camera around I came upon the very evident reason. It was in the shape of a small sign which explained to the world at large that a Dr. Harold Cohen, M. D., was to be found inside. Mr. Harold Cohen now does a rushing business. Rush ’em in, rush ’em off to Walter. Rush the next one in. As I kneAV that many in our class had had ambitions to become Scientists I now turned the dial to “Science.” The first 11 scientist” to be met was Dr. Edwin Doherty P. D. 2. Dr. Doherty had just finished a startling experiment. So startling, in fact, that I believe he is still confined in the Massachusetts Gen¬ eral although his chances of recovery are good they tell me. Another chemical engineer who has risen from the ranks of the R. H. S. Class of 1926 is Robert Cornelius Moyer, C. O. D. He is shown engaged in mix¬ ing chemicals within his own domain. The next place I looked up was the concern of Oldenbrook and Ellis, Elec¬ trical Engineers. The first to be visible was Mr. Ellis.. He was engaged in testing w r hether a large generator Avas connected up right or not. It Avas! His partner, Mr. Oldenbrook, the cele¬ brated Physicist, was found outside with no hat nor coat standing in the rain Avhile a thunderstorm raged all around him. He had hold of a metal kite string Avhich was connected to a large metal kite. In the other hand he grasped a large copper key. Just as Ave got him in focus the heavens were rent asunder with a terrific flash of lightning. Of course Oldenbrook’s hair rose and he passed out, totally, completely, and as a whole, but lie- assured us later that it Avas only due to the thoughts of the power going to waste up there. He Avas proving Benny wrong. Another ‘ ‘ scientist ’ ’ in our class Avas Miss Marcia Ham. It was she who dis¬ covered that there was no boA r ine extract in the milky Avay. At one time she dis¬ covered seventy-six and one-third new stars. This was the day she slipped on the ice. While not strictly a scientist, Miss Annie Crowell has got her business doAvn to a science so Ave will class her under this title. She is noAv a Certified Public Accoun¬ tant for the H. P. Hood Steel Company. She is also a Certified and Guaranteed Private Accountant as her husband’s pants can well testify. Another one who has also perfected his calling to a science is the Honorable Thomas Henry Phillips. When I say