Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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The Pioneer Was there ever such a commotion? The first letter she opened read thus; “My dear Nephew George,—No doubt you have heard your mother tell o: her only sisteo . It is she that is writ¬ ing. It has always been my desire to get acquainted with my relatives. I have met William and have accom¬ panied him on his wedding trip a short distance. I will srrive at your house W ednesday for a short visit to you and your family. Yours truly, ORISSA TRANT.” 4mazed beyond her control iMl.s. Grey son went back to the parlor and, as she tucked the letter in her hus- bands pocket asked him to take the suit case to William’s room—a thing which the hackman had already done. He went av ay, glad of a chance to collect his wits. In an hour everything was all right. Little Hattie was bound to say “GREAT Aunt Orissa” and “LIT¬ TLE Aunt Marion.” After tea Aunt Marion wias playing toss with Regie and Uncle Will while Hattie was sitting on her father’s knee jealous. “Siizose she’ll play dolls with me?” she asked. Papa Greyson smiled. Aunt Orissa merely said, “Does William’s wife give you satisfaction?” “She’s a jewel” said he, “Will couldn’t have done better.” BERNICE A. BATCHBLDER. SCHOOL IN 2000 A. D. Let us look in upon the flourishing high school students of 2000 A. D. It is 8.15 the time for school to begin but as there has been a dance the night before the enterprising students have not arrived, so school is postponed until nine. At nine the chimes ring softly to announce to the eager stu¬ dents (about seventy-five on this par¬ ticular morning) that school is in session. After the opening exercises the students pile out of the hell knock¬ ing over the chairs and tripping each other up much to the delight of the principal and teachers who clap their hands with fiendish glee. At ten the baseball squad is dis¬ missed to practice as they must win the pennant and receive a beautiful tobacco jar and ai pippin for each mem¬ ber on the team. The students are allowed to sleep during recitations as three of the teachers were matrons the night before. At recess the boys sit around ma¬ hogany tables and smoke and have lunch brought to them while the girls also sit around tables drinking tea and playing whist. After recess the recitations are hur¬ ried through and at one the school is dismissed. But alas a few unlucky pupils who neglected to knock over chairs and trip each other up and be¬ haved nicely through the day must return at three. At the three o’clock session only 47 have to return on this particular day. During the three o’clock session the poor students are forced to eat ice cream and cake and when they are let out they go and secure tickets for the theatre that night that they may be bright and fresh for school the next morning. A. G. WINSHIP. JUNIOR FRENCH TRANSLATIONS. “Nous ne nous embrasserons pas parce que nous ne nous embrassons jamais.” “We will not kiss each other bec ause we have never been kissed.” “Me voila! there is me.” English Teacher—“What kind of a question is it which is asked for effect —which does not expect an answer?” Long Silence. “Well, I sometimes ask such ques¬ tions.” Miss P-rk—r (who has suffered) sud¬ denly inspired, “Sarcastic?”

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The Pioneer ‘‘GREAT AUNT ORISSA.” “Denver, Colorado, Nov., 2. “Am on my wedding trip. Have the nicest woman that ever lived. Will visit you in a week. Yours truly, WILLIAM.” This was the telegram that Mr. Greyson received one morning from his brother in the west. “Well, I hope Will has married well, we were always afraid he would be a black sheep as he is so much younger than the rest of us boys, hut perhaps going west has done him good,” he laughed. “Imagine Will married!” said his wife, and then both laughed at the thought of it. Regie and Hattie jumped for joy when they were told that Uncle Wil¬ lie would come with his wife. “I hope she ain’t big an’ cross an’ got two chins an’ awful strict,” sighed little Hattie. “O” moaned Regie “I hope if SHE is, she ha’nt changed Uncle .,illie and—0 Hattie, YOU don’t know him ’cause you was too young, I do iaud he’s ;pi r i m e. It was the next Saturday when Mrs. Greyson looked out the window and beheld to her surprise a middle aged stranger coming up the avenue. She walked with firm steps and steady gait and came up the steps with de¬ cision. The bell rang and Mrs. Grey¬ son appeaired at the door. She gave the stranger a pleasant “Good afternoan.” The stranger nodded in reply and then began, “I suppose you received my letter saying that I was coming. Will is at New York sightseeing and will come later.” She was politely asked in and given the room arra.nged for William and his wife. It is needless to say that the Grey- sons were disappointed. Could this stern, solemn woman be Will’s wife? None dared to ask questions, but where was her husband? Was it natural that a newly married man COULD leave his wife to go sight¬ seeing and send her along in this way ? Regie and Hattie fretted and pouted, Mrs. Greyson worried and Mr. Grey¬ son (grumbled. Why didn’t William come? si It was in the pantry which looked out to the street that a conversation was going on. “Aunt Orissa” as she asked to be called was taking her nap, the children were at play and father and mother Greyson were in the pantry. “I don’t understand it,” began Mr. Greyson. “I won’t offend her to ask about Will. She is his wife, a pe- cular choice, I admit, and she shall be treated in the best of ways while she remains.” The tears of discour¬ agement filled Mrs. Greyson’s eyes as she went to the ipantry window. “Who can that be in the carriage coming up our avenue” she exclaimed, and then they hurried to the front door to greet whoever it might be. William Greyson was the man who stepped from the carriage and to their great surprise assisted a beautiful young lady to alignt. They rushed forward and before William could introduce his bride she shook hands with all and laughingly said, “We’ve come, at last, and I hope Willie’s wife will not disappoint you. I suppose Miss Trant has ar¬ rived. We did not hear from her.” By this time they were in the par¬ lor and Miss Orissa Trant came from her nap and in her stiff way shook hands with William and his REAL wife. Mrs. Greyson went back to the hall with the wraps and at that minute the mail man came. “I’m sorry” he said “ma’am, but I never noticed this house up the ave¬ nue. I’m a new man, you see, so here’s the mail since Nov. 2.”

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The Pioneer VEXATIONS OF THE TELEPHONE. Hello! exclaimed the man at the phone. Is that foiir-doiible-one, Ches¬ ter? Yes, sinswered the man at the other end of the wire. Is M.r. Parson there? Who? Parson! Parson! I don’t catch the name. The voices, alreadj loud, became stentorian now. I said Parson! Parker? No! What’s the matter with this telephone anyhow? Parson! Harper? Naw! Parson! P-a-r-s-OTii! Person! Get it now? Oh, Parson. Yes I believe there is a man of that name in the next room. Shall I call Imn to the phone? If you please. Then he added in a much lower tone, and speaking to himself, “A man tha can’t hear it thunder oughtn’t to try to t?-Ik through a telephone ” Whereupon he clis ' inctly hea d the response, also in a low tone; ‘nA m.an with a fog-horn voice doesn’t need a telephone. Let him get up on the roof and shout.” This incident shows it is not always the fault of the telephone. FLORENCE TURNER. EDMUND RANDOLPHE BROWNE . “Are you going?” called Louisa from the riazza. ‘‘Sure thing! where?” sh uted the boy coming up the path from the shore. He stumped up the steps and flopped in the hammock, swung his long legs up, adjusted two or three pillows under his head and then gazed calmly at his sister. “Now what’s up? Where am I to chaperon you this time?” he asked “Don’t be sarcastic. Jack,” sTd his sister, “because you don’t know how to do it well and besides, you know per¬ fectly well that when you and RiLh Kensington go apywhere, I have to do the chaperoning.” “Um-ni-m! Ruth’s going, is she? that changes matters. You might mention where it is that we are go¬ ing.” “Didn’t you see the poster on the wharf about the Minstrel Show at Camp to-night? The laun:h is c:m- ing over at 6.45 ' o get us.” A lady and a boy of ten ha I come on the piazza in time to hear Louise’s last sentence. “Edmund Randolphe writs to go to the Minstrel Show too,” said Mrs. Browne, “and I was wonder ng if he might go with you. Miss Fester. I am so timid about going on the water myself.” Edmund Randolphe clung to his mother’s hand and blushed b ' sh ully at the mention of his name. Louise glanced quickly at her hrether and replied, promptly, “Why ccr ainly, Mrs. Browne, he may go wi h us. I’m sure that Jack will be pleased to lock out for him.” Jack glowered at his s ' ster and mumbled something abou seeing to the kid all right. The mini e Mrs. Browne and Edmund Rando’i ' he were cut of sight he said in a boa.rse whis¬ per, “And I’ll see to you too. Sis, for palming off on to me a si-s”- mummer’s-cherub-boy like that. Some¬ thing might happen to the kid end then you’ll be sorry.” Louise laughed so at him that he found the pir.zza un¬ comfortable and he went down to the shore whistling a mournful tune. At the time appointed a crowd of jolly summer people was assemb ' ed on the wharf, waiting for the launch. Edmund Randolphe, in a stiffly starch¬ ed white suit, kept tight hold of Jack Foster’s hand, much to the amuse¬ ment of everyone but Jack. When they reached the island and were seated at last,—Edmund Ran¬ dolphe wedged tightly between Jack, and Ruth Kensington,— Jack whis¬ pered to his charge, “iSay, Edmund