Reading Memorial High School - Pioneer Yearbook (Reading, MA)

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24 THE PIONEER. ODE TO THE FRESHMEN. Welcome to you, entering Freshmen, Green and verdant though you he. Gather round me, O my children, Learn a thing or two from me ! I will give you some instruction, From mv own conclusions drawn ; Maxims which are full of wisdom And of sad experience born. Look with envy on the “Sophies,” Snubbings with all meekness take. Talk to them with humble manner And your due obeisance make. Speak not lightly of the Juniors, For they are an august crowd Very apt to guy the Freshmen, Of their title wondrous proud. Lastly reverence the Seniors. Speak in whispers when they’re near, Creep into their presence trembling, Cultivate a wholesome fear. Be prepared for small surprises In the shape of scuttling mice. Learn to ride well on a pony In your class then you will rise. Now, forewarned about these dangers For unwary Freshmen laid, Shun them as you would temptation, Walk in virtue’s garb arraye ]. So press onward, mind these maxims, Which are for all Freshman-kind; Life within the Reading High School Then a paradise you’ll find. Maher Wright, ’02. FUTURE OCCUPATIONS OF THE SENIORS. Clarence Carter — mamma’s boy. Herman Hay — undertaker. Edw. Parker— door walker. Percy Parker—furniture dealer; office boy. Oscar Nichols- traveling salesman. Ernest Wakefield—Vicar of Wakefield. Rebekah Bruorton — trainednurse. Mary Cullinane—a sister of charity. Alma Damon — a Miller’s wife. InaL. Eames—doctor for contagious diseases. Ella Gleason—hairdresser. Bertha Harris — teacher of Palmfer) istry. Marion Howes—leading lady for-? Martha Kittredgc — Youth’s Companion. Grace McCrum — Pres, of the New Woman’s Club. Alice Nichols—Sunday school superintendent. Jennie Nichols — a nun. Vera Scott—St. Cecilia of the 20lh Century. Ethelyn Smith—prof, of Anthropology. Grace Stimpson-—chemist. Elsie Tuttle—typewriter. Louise Pratt — a chaperone. Elvy Hunt—prima donna. THE LATEST THING IN CATA¬ LOGUES. One day Silas Marner met the Ancient Mari¬ ner who seemed to be searching for something. ‘•What are you looking for, Ancient?” he asked. “Paradise Lost,” said the Mariner, “and this is the Twelfth Night that I have been trying to find it.” They walked along together and soon came to the Deserted Village. There in the midst of it sat Burke on Conciliation with America He wore the Black Tulip in his buttonhole and was tellimj; The Priucess the Tales of a Trav- eller. “Those are Twice Told Tales,” she remarked haughtily and moved away. “Thanatopsis!” exclaimed Burke very much discomfited, and getting up, lie walked over to The House of Seven Gables. He knocked at the door which was opened by the French maid, Mile, de la Seigliere. “Is Julius Caesar at home?” inquired he. “No, monsieur, he is away putting dowq The Revolt of the Tartars,” she said.

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THE PIONEER. 23 carry home to the hoys and girls in Germany, France, Russia, Italy, Spain, and other countries, the story of our American schools. Wanted. — A lire for the new lire extinguish- ers. The love of money is the root of all evil, so let the freshman girls beware of Nichols. 170 pounds of Hay this year is on the market — sold to the lowest bidder. The scholars feel very grateful for the addi¬ tional five minutes of their recess, and would feel quite satisfied if it were further extended to half an hour. Wanted. — A little oil on that revolving book¬ case. Re thankful Juniors! The Seniors ' of 1900 do not kick at your plans for reception. Does Div. A of the Freshman class like Gram¬ mar? We should judge so by the length of time they want to keep one lesson. Strange that so many of the teachers have wheels. Several clocks are needed in the school; a few to be distributed to the rooms that, at present, have none, and a few more to take the place of those that the school now has. We like to be up to the times. Teacher to pupil in the Sophomore class: “S - r, what kind of man would you think Peter Quince would be?” S - r: “Sour! ” Are Reading streets dangerous that so many of the teachers have constant body-guards? Wanted. — A supply of wit for the use of scholars when the teachers say “locals.” Wanted. — More reference books for Science and English in the High School. The Senior class had an eye for contrast in choosing their class color (green). During Miss Taylor’s essay at the last gradu¬ ation exercises, a baby sang a solo in G sharp. On account of this, no infants under three months will be allowed to attend the graduation this year. Wanted. — Better ventilation. Wanted. — An electrical apparatus to ring bells. A lay figure — a hen. Teacher, Senior English : “ We will now take the life of John Milton.” (And the class pro¬ ceeded to murder him). Great Scott, what a Kurt reply! The long and short of it—Th-m-son find R-ggles. How long since Pompey’s Veterinary Army aided him in his Eastern Campaign? The Junior Class is thinking of stocking a lake, as they have several Algebra “sharks.” The pupils of the school will be well pre¬ served for the graduation exercises as they were kept in cold storage several days last winter. If the Freshman class has one of the Muses, where are the other eight? Great accident in Room 0 — a mouse ran over the v aste basket. Teacher. — “What is the Apocalypse?” Senior (sadly). — “I don’t know. I looked all through the classical dictionary and couldn’t find it.” Teacher. — “Well, can you tell me where Mount Sion was?” Senior (with more confidence). — “I don’t know where it was, but it was the home of the Muses.” Suggestion — A post graduate course in sim¬ ple Bible stories for 1900. A SENIOR. CLASS PROBLEM. Howes Miss Tuttle going to Hunt for a Car¬ ter to move Hay from Wakefield without Nichols?

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THE PIONEER. 25 As lie walked away, Hamlet came hurrying along followed, at a little distance, by The Lady of the Lake, who had one arm in a sling and was reading a book. “She will not hurry,” announced Hamlet anxiously. “She has scalded her arm and I can’t get her away from that essay on Burns. You see,” he continued, confidentially, “we’re eloping and we went to The Abbott first, but he refused to marry us because, he declared the match was an anachronism.- Now we’re going to The Vicar of Wakefield.” At this moment Marmion hurried upon the scene, exclaiming, “Macbeth is at it again ! He has taken The Life of Nelson and is after The Life of Columbus.” “Columbus, who is Columbus?” asked The Lady of the Lake, looking up from her book. “The Last of the Mohicans,” replied Marmion. “I thought everybody knew United States history.” Just then The Merchant of Venice came along with a beaming countenance, and told them that he had given up selling The Sketch Book, as King Lear had left him The Fortune of the Republic, and he intended to build a new house. “Sir Roger de Coverly Papers quite nicely,” said Marmion, “I would recommend him.” “Oh, that’s a Midsummer Night’s Dream,” said Hamlet, “for I saw Lear only a little while ago, and lie was as well as anybody.” “He went to Rome to see the Pope’s Iliad and ate too much Bacon there,” explained The Merchant of Venice regretfully. “As You Like It,” began the Lady of the Lake-, and then the dreamer awoke, for all this was The Vision of Sir Launfal. II. Hay. Please may I have a pencil? Please may I have a drink? Or, please I want another pen, And may I get the ink? A draught comes through the window, Please may I put it down ? I’d like another blank-book, For mine cannot be found. Now may I speak with Billy When Tommy Jones is done? I wish that I might change my seat, This one is in the sun. Such is the fire of questions That on the teacher fall; One feels inclined to wonder How she lives through it all. F. C. C., ’98. ALUMNI NOTES. Class of ’94. M iss Linnie Thayer has accepted a position as teacher in the Highland School. Margaret Eaton is assistant editor of the Journal of Education. Thomas P. Hussey is employed by Swett A Lewis repairing and setting up X-Ray machines. Marion Pratt is observing in the Highland School. Agnes Copeland was married June 12, to Oliver Wade of Woburn. Class of ’95. Walter Eaton, formerly a member of ’95, graduates this year from Harvard. Clarence Brown, also a former member of ’95, has graduated this year from Tech. Ernest G. Hodgkins, ’95, and Ada Morgan, ’96, were married May 28. Class of ’96. Richard B. Hussey graduates this year from Amherst College. Class of ’97. Jennie Parker is taking a course of study at Wellesley College. Linnie Bancroft is taking a full course at the Boston Normal Art School. Class of ’98. Grace Skillen is studying at the Boston Nor-