Ramage (DDG 61) - Naval Cruise Book

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ie Want to know about it? Tr this .... L. . . p 5 15 Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet r oor with a ctirtarril. Havc sorncouc whip open the curtain about three hours after you go to sleep, shine a flashlight ru your tacc and say Sorry, wrong rack. I 25 Renovate your bathroom, which should now be called the 'Head'. Build a wall across thc middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you showcr. uiakc sure you shut off the water while soaping up. 35 When there is a thunderstorm in the area, find a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you are nauseous. Have a supply of crackers readily available in your pocket. 45 Put motor oil in your humidifier and crank it to 'High ' ' ' ' ' - f 1 1 A 'ddle of the 55 Avoid watching TV with the exception of movies which are played during tic nu c night. Have your famiy vote on what movie to watch and then show a dirleient onc. ' ' ' ' ' 1 h ' t da f 65 For Engineering: Leave your lawnmower running in your living room erg it ours '1 . y 75 Have the mailman give you a haircut 85 Once a week, blow compressed air into your c imney, ma 1 g onto your neighbors house. Ignore their complaints. 95 Buy a trash compactor but use it once a week. Store up the garbage on the other side of the head. 105 Make up your family menu a week ahead of time, and do so without looking in your cabinets h' k'n sure the wind carries the soot or refrigerator. 115 Set your alarm clock to go off at a random time during the night. When it goes off, get up and get dressed as fast as you can, being sure to button the top button of your shirt and stuff your pants into your socks. Run out into your backyard and uncoil the garden hose. 125 Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and then put them back together. 135 Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee per pot and allow each pot to sit for at least five hours. 145 Invite eighty-five people to come over and visit for a couple of months. 155 Install a florescent lamp under your coffee table and lie under it to read books. 165 Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or bang your head on the sill everytime you pass through one of them. 175 Lockwire the lug nuts on your car. 185 When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan when it's in the oven. Spread the icing really thick on one side to level off the top. 195 Every so often, throw your catfdog into a swimming pool and shout Man overboard, starboard side!! Then run into the kitchen and sweep all pots, pans, and dishes off the counter and onto the floor. Yell at your wife andlor children for not having the kitchen stowed for sea. 205 Puton the headphones for a stereo but donlt plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck on a stung. Go and stand in front of your stove. Say to no one in particular, Stove manned and ready. Stand there for three hours, then say once again to no one in particular, f4Stove secured. Roll up the headphone cord and put the headphone and paper cup in a box. 1 . ,.-ly. 1 I -4-.