Quincy High School - Goldenrod Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 2? ried to one hundred and twelve women and got away with it, and now my author marries me off to a little chit of a movie actress, and instead of making her be overwhelmed with the honor I have con- ferred upon her, he actually has the temerity of making her have me arrested for polygamy! Me arrested—me, Blue- beard! I'11 murder him for that. Til—” “Don’t get excited, Bluebeard,” piped up Little Boy Blue. “I, too, have sutfered a lot. My author puts the haystack under which I am to fall asleep near a house. The people there own a radio with a loud speaker. As they always keep the win- dows open, I can listen in. Why, the other day I forgot to go to sleep, I was so interested in listening to the weather fore- casts. My cows wander into the corn, but instead of making me blow my horn as any sensible person would do, that author of mine makes all the drivers of the flivvers which pass toot theirs, and back come my cows. Imagine making cows mistake the noise of those things for my melodious horn! Anyone but a mod- ern author has a better idea of a cow’s musical ear than that. It’s onlv fair that—” “Who’s getting excited now:” jeered the Little Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe. “Not that I don’t sympathize with you. Why, I can’t even put my many children to bed without giving them their supper any longer. The person that writes about me made a rich, benevolent old man take pity on me and—” “What!” shouted Scrooge, “is that what happens to my money? I suppose it’s better than investing it in German marks. Wait until I put my hands on that author!” “Don’t get excited,” admonished Fa- ther Time. “Don’t get excited!” repeated Cinder- ella bitterly. “What would you do if an author made you do house-cleaning with those modern contraptions, such as vacuum cleaners and Thor washing ma- chines. And there’s no such thing as a fairy godmother in the opinion of my dear author. ‘All blathcrdash,’ he says.” Here Cinderella began to cry softly, and the Mock Turtle, her nearest neighbor, began to cry with sympathy. ‘ Don’t cry, Cinderella, ’ bc0gcd the Poor Little Match Girl. “It might be much worse. There’s a silver lining to every cloud.” “It couldn't be any worse,” moaned the Mock Turtle dolefully. “There’s no sil- ver lining to this cloud, take my word for it. Why, these poor pretentious mortals haven’t the least idea of a Lobster Quad- rille. It’s a much better dance than the Ritz, of which they write so much.” “I perceive that you arc a pessimist,” the Poor Little Match Girl said pityingly. “No, I’m not,” sobbed the Mock Tur- tle. “I’m only a turtle, and a fine one at that, even i I do say so myself.” “Well,” said Father Time, turning to the rest of the characters from the books, “now that you have heard these cases, what shall we do to our authors?” “Fry them in cod-liver oil,” bellowed Bluebeard. “Nothing of the kind,” contradicted Captain Kidd, glaring. “I’ll tell you what,” said Simple Simon suddenly, “wreck them on a desert island and make them listen to a Jazz Band for the REST OF THEIR LIVES!” A deep silence greeted Simple Simon’s suggestion, and then all the would-be torturers of the poor authors popped back, broken-hearted, into the places from which they came. And outside the Man-in-the-Moon winked, at nothing in particular. Anna Palazzi, June, ’24. WARNING! Don’t Miss the June Number of the GOLDEN-ROD Bigger and Better than Ever. Order Your Copy Early.

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26 THE GOLDEN-ROD A Little One-Act Play Entitled “LEARNING A SPEECH” Scene First and Only: A four-sided room in a shingled house. John, a boy of about seventeen summers, is trying to learn a speech for a debate the next even- ing. John stands before a large mirror and begins to speak: John: Mr. Chairman, ladies and gen- tlemen. My colleague, the first speaker for— Voice (from below): John, dear, please get me some coal. John: Yes, Mother. (Under breath) ! : x : ! $ (John gets the coal, then resumes for- mer position before the mirror.) John: Ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Chairman—no, that’s wrong—Mr. Chair- man, ladies and gentlemen. My—{John is interrupted by commotion around pedal extremities. The dog and cat are having a little boxing match.) John (very gently): Now, Peter and Bozo, you run along and play outside. (After brief struggle, manages to put both canine and feline out of the room.) John: Now, let’s see, now, where was Ir Oh, yes: Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen. My colleague—(loud snickers from rear. John turns and perceives little brother grinning at him.) John: Hey, get out of here, you little runt. (Little brother does a hasty exit, and runs to Mother.) Little Brother: Hey, Ma, Johnny’s gone nutty. He’s up in your room yellin’ at himself in the mirror about the Bolshe- vicks. John (again): Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen. My colleague, the first speaker for the—(Bang!-bang!—crash! —noises from little brothers room. In the meanwhile, Mother starts the vacuum cleaner, small sister plays the piano, older brother whistles, a fid father saws wood.) John: Oh, d—n! !!;xzfi£! (John grabs papers containing speech and retreats to garage, where he continues to practice in the same manner.) Clarence Nickerson. Wliv the Man-in-the-Moon Winked It happened in a library, the shelves of which were filled with delightful looking books. It would not have happened if the moon hadn’t been out. It was a round moon, and the features of Mr. Man-in- thc-Mcon were very distinct in it. Wher- ever the light of that silver disc fell, magic was there. The rays of the moon flooded the library with a pale radiance, magic was produced, and it happened, which brings us back to the beginning. Just as the grandfather’s clock in the hall was striking midnight, a great rustling filled the room. Out from be- tween the covers of the books stole myri- ads of tiny people. They swarmed over every available piece of furniture, their eyes big with excitement. An old. vener- able man with a scythe jumped onto the table in the middle of the room and called for silence. “Friends,” began Father Time, for it was he, “we have met here tonight to dis- cuss the defects of modern authors in general. Now, their greatest crime lies in making their characters do as their auth- ors wish, rather than allowing them to act as they themselves wish. A few cases will illustrate my point. For instance, take the case of Captain Kidd. The author who is writing about that illustrious pirate actually caused his ship to be searched within the twelve-mile limit for contra- band liquors!” “Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Yo- ho-ho and a bottle of rum!” croaked Cap- tain Kidd’s parrot. “Order!” shouted Father Time. “Fur- thermore,” he continued in a milder voice, “they made Bluebeard—” “Bluebeard can speak for himself, sir,” growled that individual. “I’ve been mar-

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28 THE GOLDEN-ROD School Nsws CLASS NOTES Senior Class At a meeting of the class on March 3rd, Perley Pay son was elected treasurer. At another meeting the following committees were elected: Reception, Ernest Yallec, Chairman, Bessie Thurber, and Eric Sjorstrom. Class Song—Owen Stoner, Chairman, Barbara Morgan, and Edson Fuller. Class Day—James Cunningham, Chairman, Geraldine Olive, Ruth Hill, Betty Morgan, Thomas Donlin. Junior Class The February, ’25, Pin Committee is now working to select a pin for their class. Clara Saylor, Corinne Holteen and Robert Fay are on the committee. The following students have been elected to the February, ’25, Golden-Rod Staff: Editor-in-Chief, Alexander Souden; Literary Editor, Clara Saylor; News Edi- tor, Gertrude Savage; Athletic Editor, Henry Cutler; Alumnae Editor, Margaret Marr; Exchange Editor, Corinne Holteen; Joke Editor, Edward Maloney. Sophomore Class The Sophomore girls are exulting over the successful season in basketball. Al- though the Seniors won the championship, the Sophomores plaved very fine basket- ball. Freshman Class This semester the afternoon Freshman Glee Club consists of fifty mixed voices, since there is no time for both a boys’ and girls’ glee club. The Freshman Or- chestra gave an excellent performance January 29, the second night of the Senior Dramatics. Woodward Freshmen An assembly has been planned by the teachers of the school to be held Wednes- day, April 2, before the spring vacation. Ruth Hayden, a pupil of the school, is to give a piano solo, and a reading, “Elaine,” by Tennyson, will be given by Miss Isabel B rown. THE TRAFFIC SQUADS The new traffic squads are doing their work well. The arm-bands worn bv the officers add a certain dignity to the posi- tion, and both the officers and the rest of the students seem to be taking more seri- ously the problem of filing between class- es. 'fhe innovation of girl officers is also working out satisfactorily. Let’s all keep up the good work. COMMANDER WILLIAMS TALKS TO 'FHE BOYS At a meeting of the upper class boys in the hall, March 21, 1924, Commander Williams of the G. A. R. was received en- thusiastically, and gave an inspiring talk on the value of military training. The meeting was called to create interest in the Citizen’s Military Training Camps. Colonel Smith told about the New Eng- land camp at Devens. A number of boys showed their interest by remaining to ob- tain more information. CLASS DANCES BEST IN YEARS The dances given this year by the Jun- ior and Senior classes have been the most successful in years, in the opinion of both the faculty and the student body. A Valentine Dance was given by the junior and Senior classes Februarv 29, 1924. Preceding the dance, an entertainment was given in the assembly haM. Mr. Res- nick gave two very fine violin solos, ac- companied by Isadore Szathmary. Mr. Szathmary also played two delightful selections on the piano. Miss Walmslev and Mr. Nisson presented an acrobatic skit, “Powerful Katrinka and Her Assist- ant Friday,” which was enthusiastically received by the audience. At the conclu- sion of the entertainment all retired to the “gym,” where dancing was enjoyed. The “gym” was suitably decorated with Val- entine colors and hearts. The matrons were Mrs. Ernest L. Collins, Mrs. Fred- erick H. Brcslyn, and Mrs. Almon Fuller. The success of the dance was due to the committee, under the direction of Miss Dawson and Mr. Upham.