Quincy High School - Goldenrod Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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36 THE GOLDEN-ROD Jokes Probably Miss Hixon, after tasting alcohol made in chemistry class: “What makes it taste so mild, Mr. Thomas:” Mr. Thomas: “Well, it’s according to what you are used to.” Miss Dawes to Davis: “Give the figure of speech on the side board.” Davis, roosting on the desk behind, could sec no figure. Miss Dawes: “I don’t care for your figure.” Pupil: “Ulysses was a general in Julius Caesar’s time who had many peculiar ad- ventures during his trips from the fall of Troy.” Poor Fish Miss Donovan, reciting in English con- cerning an article on Secretary of Labor Davis: “Mr. Davis was born in Wales (Whales).” The Class Does Xot Believe It Bissctt (translating German): “The steps were on the stairs.” Mr. Thomas: “What arc the waters of the Seine River like:” Orswell: “They are insane (in Seine).” Miss Wood: “There are two reasons why you have not learned this. One is that you haven’t worked hard enough, the other is that I haven’t worked hard enough. Which is it.?” Damon: “Let’s toss for it.” Chemistry teacher (discussing alco- hol): “I don’t see why you boys can’t keep quiet, the subject is interesting enough.” We ask what he means. Mr. Xissen: “Right face. Dumbells, forward march.” The whole class marched. Miss FitzGerald (to pupils looking out of window at smoke): “Don’t worry, as far as I can sec there will be no terrible conflagration. Furthermore, if you die you will have the gratification of knowing I will die also.” Osgood (translating German sentence for: “Your face looks familiar”): “I have met your face before.” Beale (discussing a sentence with de- ductive reasoning): “The man died be- cause he drank deductive reasoning.” Milton must have been thinking of the 20th century when he wrote about the watery bier. Line 12, Lycidas. Ropes to Miss Dawes (during discus- sion on afternoon walks, gave the follow- ing illustration): “If a person went walking with you they would likely have a wonderful time.” Ropes (in reference to moving picture entitled, “Dead Men Tell Xo Tales”): “Of course dead men have no tails.” Miss Dawes: “Do you think Milton would enjoy the movies more at twenty- five than at fifty:” Akin: “Oh yes, he was blind at fifty.” Miss Zeller: “Is McCue coming to school anymore:” Class: “No.” Miss Zeller: “Doesn’t he work in some store in the Square:” Laverty: “No, he is exposed to work.” Chemistry teacher: “Notice the color of this liquid, it is colorless.”

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 35 JUST FELICE Flushed and panting, Madame Bour- gois, prima donna danseuse of all Paris, entered her dressing-room and dropped into a large, comfortable chair. Outside she could hear the excited applause of the waiting audience. From a nearby room a young girl ap- peared, dressed in a wonderful ballet cos- tume of shimmering satin, half-hidden from view by a light robe thrown grace- fully over her shoulders. “Madame!” she cried, running to the older woman’s side. “Nothing, chcre,” the prima donna re- plied carelessly. “I have slightly injured my ankle, that is all, Felice—and I can’t dance again tonight,” she continued with a faint smile at her protege. “Madame, what shall you do?” The young girl ran to the stage entrance. “Oh, Madame, they are waiting for you—can’t I take your part? You have taught me all your dance,” she entreated. Madame Bourgois turned her dark head and looked at the young girl. Standing there, in the blaze of light from the chandelier, Felice made a wonderful picture. Her dark hair curled and waved around her small face, and large, black eyes made her plain features seem beau- tiful in the glowing light. Impatient applause came to them from the stage. Madame Bourgois could not find heart to refuse; she waved permis- sion, and Felice, with a flashing smile, was gone The stage was dimly lighted and the scenery dark. To Felice it was a bless- ing, for it hid her confusion and excite- ment and gave her courage. With a flourish, the orchestra started the first strains of the melody, and with renewed confidence Felice began to dance. Suddenly a blinding light seemed to en- fold her, and for a fleeting moment she was tempted to run off the stage. But she thought of her helpless friend who was depending upon her to save the day, and with a pirouette Felice was off into the dance. And she danced. Everywhere she could see admiring, bewildered eyes—even the manager, who stood in the wings, watched her wondcringly. Everyone seemed drawn into the maze of the dance, and Felice, flushed with excitement, led them on and on—the orchestra played madly, the wonderful colored lights thrown upon her making her resemble a beautiful green butterfly, so guickly did she flit across that flower-strewn stage! At last it was over; the music ceased, and, with a parting wave, she was gone. Mad applause seemed to tear down the roof of the great building. Calls for en- core! encore! echoed through the vast hall and bouquets of beautiful flowers were thrown on the stage. But Paris’ new prima donna, clasped tight in Ma- dame Bourgois’ arms, was exceedingly happy, and what went on outside did not trouble her in the least! Evelyn E. Faulds, 1922. MODERN DEFINITIONS Attic: The upper regions of a body, usually full of nothing, and surrounded by wood or any harder substance. Blocks (1) An article furnished by the school, which the pupil is to fill up; (2) an article furnished by the pupil, which the school is to fill up. Dome: A spherical object whose color fades with age and needs recovering. Ear-Muff: A head decoration prevalent among members of the Female Debat- ing Society (which embraces the world). Also the reason why so many women find the telephone service faulty. Guy: That which helps a post to stand up. Ink: Abbreviation for incomplete. Both give a black mark. Ivory: A substance needed in the games of pool, African golf, and football. Arthur Whitehead, 1921.

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 37 Akin, discussing drunkenness: “Liquor affects different people in different ways. It makes some mad and some happy.” Mr. Burt (in English history): “Miss Schools, what have we in our country equal to the English borough?” Miss Schools: “Braintree.” Can You Imagine This? (Sentence written by one of our bril- liant authors in an Outside Reading Test): “The book was r it ten ...” Evidently the author of the above in- tended to give his real opinion of the book. It can be done. Change the i to o, and O-O-Oh! Miss Douglas (teaching the proper spelling of “cemetery”): “They’re all in Vs’ and not in Vs’.” Miss Temple (reading theme, then tell- ing of horse rounding curve): “George, the horse, turned the curve on one wheel.” “Everybody take his seat,” exclaimed the teacher. “Some job, they are fastened,” mur- mured someone. But Nelson took his in the office. English teacher (attempting to illus- trate how the word “lovable” was mis- spelled, and writing on the board): “Love.” Then turning to class and say- ing: “Now here is a word that seems to bother a lot of people.” We’ll say it is. Miss Douglas: “Here is a phrase some- one used on his paper, and I fully agree with him . . . ‘I didn’t no much—’ ” Evidently he didn’t. Latest addition to the list of “Tercen- tenary Reading”—Pilgrim’s Progress! Did it tell much about the landing of the Pilgrims? George A. Goodhue, Joke Editor.