Quincy High School - Goldenrod Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 21 I had just purchased a newspaper, and was crossing the street deeply interested in the news’that Sen. Wyman Arbuckle had used his vocal powers, developed at High, to defeat the bill providing for the abolition of dancing, brought forth by the Rev. Douglas Yule, the most ardent Blue Law reformer of the day, when a great, big, strong, husky and powerful brute of an automobile came along and collided with me. I started studying astronomy, but a lot of jouncing brought me to, an4 I found myself in an ambulance, with a blue-coated officer bandaging my head. He told me that the auto had suffered two broken lights, whereas I had only one. Seeing this officer made me wonder where George Goodhue was. I asked the cop, and he told me that Georgie has been getting a lot of free rides in the paddy wagon lately, as he is its chauf- feur. At present I am laboriously engaged in holding down a little white bed, and it’s hard work, I’ll tell the world. I wish you’d write me a letter, or else come here yourself and sec me—it’s dead here, and I don’t want to be. With oodles of love, My remains, Art. Postscript No. 1: Say, I just saw Ruth Williams here. She is the head surgeon, so I might live at that. P. S. No. 2: In your last letter you wanted to know what Catherine Foye is doing. Didn’t you know that she mar- ried Dana Kaulbeck, your own brother, after you went away? P. S. No. 3: Say, who do you suppose is in the next bunk? It is Dick Brown, the city contractor. “How did you get here?” I asked him. “I contracted poison from- drinking ‘Campbell’s soup,’,” he answered. Well, honey bunch, I guess that I have written enough postscripts for today. I’m waiting for that letter—or you! Maple Grove Seminary, Franklin, Mass., Sept. 16, 1941. Dear Arthur: I was very surprised to hear that you went to Colorado. Your mines must be very valuable or you would never have gone way out there on business, unless it meant a lot to your banking account. Arthur, whatever will happen to you if you are not more careful? That superflu- ous gray matter of yours was probably overworking. You cannot overwork graymatter and eyesight at the same time. I am so sorry that you were hurt, but be more careful next time, Art. I had a wonderful time on my vaca- tion. School opened today, and it seemed some hard to come back to these giggly, squirming girls. What do you think, Ar- thur? The latest fad these foolish chits have is to wear Burke’s Height and Flesh Reducer. Can you imagine anything sil- lier? I can’t. The inventor of this con- traption is Elizabeth Burke, who gradu- ated from Q. H. S. with us. Lizzie was always doing something funny. I guess she wants to prevent the coming genera- tion from being her height and build. I had a delightful trip home from France. The sea was comparatively calm, and Father Neptune and I did not dis- agree. As a rule, we scrap continually. This trip must be the exception to that rule. When we were about mid-ocean, we saw an airship flying about a mile up. I was watching it with great interest when something happened to the machinery. It stopped. The machine began to tip forward, then glided neatly into the water. It landed very near us, and we could see that it was fast being destroyed by the strong waves. After much excitement the rider was rescued. She was a slim wo- man, who looked very familiar to me.

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20 THE GOLDEN-ROD words, it was Chet Mellish, who sells books when he isn’t playing chess. “What’s on the menu today?” I asked him. “Well,” he answered, “I have here a book entitled ‘The History and Develop- ment of the Upper Classes,’ by Hannon, the noted historian, recognized as the best piece of literature this year. Then I also have a book by Helen Levinson and Sadye Berman, ‘How to Prevent Gum Chewing and Whispering During Study Periods.’ With a copy of the latter we give free a book, ‘How to Shorten High School Courses,’ by Miss Dorothea Mur- .phy- I took a sample copy of each and then re-entered my habitation. It wasn’t much use now to try to sleep, so I put on my Fedora and meandered down to the cir- cus. As I had plenty of time, I went into the side show first. Who do you suppose were in it? The wild man I knew at once to be Johnny Djcrf, but I had to take two looks at the sword swallower before I knew it was Roy Olson. “How did you happen to take up this business?” I asked him, when the show was over. “Well, if you can stretch your memory a little, you will remember that I always was good at swallowing a cud of gum at a moment’s notice,” he replied. Roy told me, too, that John Quinn was a wild woman tamer in the show, but at pres- ent he is in the hospital. Gee, and John always was so bashful! The circus itself was pretty good— there was a tight-ropc walker there that you know—Anna Wright, and oh, yes, Ernest Piper had charge of the Wild West show. After the doings were all over for the afternoon, I went home to supper, but I couldn’t eat much on account of not hav- ing the room, so I sat down to look over a book. The last chapter struck me fav- orably, so I began at the beginning. I had only read five pages, however, and the hero had made but three killings, when the door bell rang again. This time it was Louis Merrill. Ever since a cer- tain incident at High School, you know, Louis has had but one object in mind, and therefore he founded the Merrill Home for the Prevention of Absentmind- edness. Its chief inmate, I hear, is Mrs. Helen White Merrill. “Come on down to the dedication of the new high school with me,” he said. My program card for the evening was blank, so I acquiesced. Before the doings began I noticed a small, feeble-looking man who was a physical wreck sitting near me. “Who is it?” I whispered to Louis. “That’s Reginald Hanson. Ever since he married Ruth Bishop he’s been like that,” he answered. Say, Ruth, but he was the worst-looking specimen of a hen- pecked hubby that I’ve ever seen! I hope I’ll never be like that. The principal orator of the evening (I think you know him) was Lawrence Leavitt, D. D., who is President of Dart- mouth, Ex-Mayor of Quincy, senior mem- ber of “Vanderbilt and Leavitt” and juni- or member of Leavitt and Nowell.” I have extracted a few of his remarks which might interest you: “We have decided to patronize local talent in this institution, and therefore Gilbert Rcdlon, who knows so much of the office, will be its principal. Wilbur Rhodes, who just graduated from Quincy High, -will teach Physics; Irving Law- rence Shaw, who was always good at fig- ures, will teach Mathematics; and Miss Louise Brievogel will teach Drawing. “We arc also offering a new course,— that of Hieroglyphics Hydrophobia, which will be elucidated by Miss Edna Benson.” This ended Thursday, and Friday morning dawned not long afterwards,— Friday, the 13th. You remember I started to tell you what happened on this eventful morning.

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22 THE GOLDEN-ROD Then I recognized her as Anna Blair. I immediately spoke to her, and we had a great visit. “You know Bertha Pyyny and Irene Stephens, don’t you, Ruth?” she said to me one day. “Yes, I remember them,” I answered. “Well,” said Anna, “they and Elsie Parmenter and Hazel Mason have devel- oped wings. Who would ever think that four girls from Quincy should ever de- velop wings?” As I was unable to divine her subtle wit, she had to explain that they were members of her flying school. Then, of course, I could laugh, but naturally I did not want to after being so stupid. Once when Anna was in California, engine trouble forced her to land in a large peach plantation. A tall man came running up to her. He was really very peeved be- cause she landed in his old peach grounds. “Why, Clayton Blake,” Anna burst out, “don’t get so hot-headed. I’m not go- ing to touch your peaches. I hate them! If I remember correctly, you are very fond of them, especially when they be- long—” “Sweet one, Anna Blair, I didn’t know it was you, or I would not have talked to a lady so rudely.” The same old Clayton, isn’t he, Arthur? “Say, Anna,” Clayton went on, “you come over here; I have someone I want you to meet.” They went over to some peach trees. Clayton called, and four girls came up. Clayton introduced them as Esther Lik- ander, Doris Rendle, Ellen Gray, and Freda Paul. Anna was delighted to sec them again. They are Clayton’s best peach pickers. The world shrinks every- day, Anna says, and I fully agree with her. The rest of the voyage was uneventful. I had no trouble at Ellis Island, and now I am here with these unexciting, giggling, foolish school girls. How different they are from what we used to be! Just before my school opened, I went over to Barbara Wells’ school for boys. We had a long talk on boys, and I really do believe that Barbara is fonder of the boys than when we knew her. “By the way, Barb, do you know what ‘Hap’ Davis is doing now?” I asked. Barb beamed. “Why, yes, Ruth, I do,” she answered. “He is a millionaire. He received so many ‘Q’s’ at Quincy High that he has made a fortune selling them to Chinamen.” Xow, what do you think of that, Ar- thur? Do you know that every time I see Barb and hear her speak of “Hap,” I think of Byron’s “Don Juan.” “The noblest kind of love is love platonic.” I met another of our classmates recent- ly. I decided that this y ear I would have an instructor in horseback riding. I think this will be good for the girls, and give them an idea of good old-fashioned sport. I advertised for an instructor. One day a horseman rode up the driveways. We started to talk business. I noticed that he was looking at me very queerly. “Say, Ruth, aren’t yrou married y-et?” he burst out. I was so surprised that for a second I could not speak. At last I demanded: “Who are you, may I inquire?” “I’m Eddie Maibach. I thought you were Ruth Kaulbeck, but I wasn’t sure. I’ve studied horseback riding for years now.” Really, Art, at last Eddie has reached the calling in life for which he was born. “Say, Ruth,” Eddie went on, “while 1 was riding in South Quincy yesterday, I saw a restaurant kept by Emili Giovan- angeli. Emily married soon after gradu- ation, and now she keeps a restaurant for seven. Right beside Emily’s is Antonelli’s fruit store. Antonelli and Emily are the best of friends at last.