Quincy High School - Goldenrod Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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20 THE GOLDEN-ROD A DAY’S ADVENTURE One day, last summer, as I was out for a spin in my aeroplane, my motor stopped, and I was forced, by the law of gravity, to descend. I picked out a suitable landing spot and “dropped in” as you might say, on a town, which I found to be Strawville. Finding that it would take several hours to have the blacksmith weld a broken rod together, I set out to give the town the “once over.” The history of the town I learned from a few relics, who were artistically draped on the railing of the general store. Strawville was discovered in 1829 A. D. by some explorers. They made haste to vacate that undesirable region, but one broke his leg in the general rush, so they had to build a cabin to stay in until the invalid’s leg was well. Later, other people passed by, saw the cabin; one moved in, others built houses, and thus the world was enriched (?) by the presence of Strawville, so called because the name of the man who was hurt was “Straw.” This history being sufficient for my fertile brain, I departed to see the won- ders of the town, upon which I will elucidate in the order of their import- ance. First comes Mrs. Sproul’s boarding house. Although the delicatessen of the latter place is neither nectar nor am- brosia, still, among the voters (men of course) it ranks first. It was built in 1872, and in the opinion of most of its patrons, has not yet used up the stock of bread, eggs, vegetables, canned goods, etc., laid in then. The most frequent items on the menu are hash, beans, and apple pies like mother used to make (perhaps she did make them, but oh! how time has changed their tates!). The grub usually eaten is anything but these three, hence their constancy. The second floor of this sumptuous and spacious apartment house is used by those mortals who have no other place to sleep, and therefore, having Hobson’s choice, go to Mrs. Sproul’s. The second place of importance is the railroad station, without which Straw- ville would never be known. Thither congregate the male population of Straw- vill at 10:30 A. M. and 4:28 P. M. to witness the visits of the east and west- bound trains. These sojourn in Straw- ville for two or three seconds, just long enough for the baggage man to give the postmaster the mail. The third place of interest is the com- bination fire station, theater, church, and jail, otherwise known as the Town Hall. The first floor of this edifice is occupied as the “Neverspout,” an an- cient hand tub, equipped with up-to-date leather buckets and bed wrenches. The theater is on the second floor, where such masterpieces as “Samantha of Saratoga” are given monthly, with a cast recruited from Strawville. This room, every Sunday, is converted into a church by the appearance of Rev. Hop- kins, Deacon Spidderkins, and the Strawville male choir, also recruited from Strawville. This room is also used as a meeting place for Selectmen Hop- kins, Sproul, and Spidderkins. The basement of this highly imposing structure serves as a town jail, last used when a certain resident investigated the contents of a barrel marked “Cider” both internally and externally. The fourth place of importance is Spidderkins’ general store, which further explored can be called a grocery, meat market, dry and wet goods store, a black- smithery; and with a postoffice as a side issue, in which the daily mail is inspected, digested, and censored. Perhaps this is why Mrs. Spidderkins is sometimes re-

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 19 Now Pactovis, full of glee, A stout old doctor he will be. Some day he’ll visit you and me, Remember this, and wait and see. The next may be no writer, Nor will he be a tailor; He may never join the Navy, But he’ll always be a Saylor. One that everybody knows Is the Schenkelberger boy, He laughs and fools and often shirks, But he’s always full of joy. Olson is, as Olsons are, A bright and brilliant Quincy star, He knows his Latin from A to Z And in his dreams he sees an E. I must not forget Miss Ricker, Modesty she shows. But she’s just like other women, She puts powder on her nose. These words are for fun No offense should be taken, A joke for the class, Not one was forgotten. —George Saylor, ’23, IT’S A GREAT LIFE IF— Between the coal and the sugar What shall the poor people do? The prices are growing bigger, And the quantities getting few. We get all kinds of prices And all kinds of sugar, too, And Mr. Profiteerer, We blame this all to you. You sometimes read in the papers “A million pounds to-day.” And when you look to see where it is, It’s a thousand miles away. “Do you think, my friend Consumer, Because you have scaled my wall That I, Old Profiteerer, Am not a match for you all?” “There is sugar in my storehouse; There is coal in the boats in the bay, And there I shall continue to keep it Till my prices you will pay.” —Bernard Manning, ’22. OUT O’ LUCK With an apology to my readers for the slang used herein. When your head is feeling solid As tho’ made of hardest pine And of all the brains you once had There is not the slightest sign; When your senses all are scattered And your histr’y’s on the bum; When you’re asked an English question And your head begins to hum; When trying to look wide awake And you find that you are stuck, Then I tell you, friends and schoolmates, Then—I say—you’re out o’ luck. —Therese Dunbar, ’20.

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 21 ferred to as the “Autobiography of Strawville.” A very slight hint starts the history from 1829 to whatever year it may be when the victim escapes. Then skipping the next twenty-three houses of importance, which it would be difficult to classify without raising twenty-two rows, we arrive at the twenty-eighth, “The Little Red School- house” which, in the minds of the younger members of the population, un- doubtedly deserves last place. In it many generations of Hopkins, Spidder- kins, Sprouls, etc., have studied, di- gested, and thoroughly misunderstood the uses of the comma; have chased the elusive X through all its deviations, and have misspelled word after word. In fact, it has been a place where literary genius blossomed forth like cactus in Alaska. The teacher, Miss Emma Spriggs, is often pointed to with pride by the in- habitants, as one of the town’s relics, for no one can remember when she was a girl. After acquiring all this information I turned my steps towards Spidderkins’ and received my rod; but how changed it was, and how changeless my pockets became. I replaced the rod, saw that the motor worked, and then took off, leaving behind me a sea of gaping faces and 86.89. —Arthur Whitehead',’21. ON THE TRAIL OF DON QUIXOTE (A Book In this travel book, “On the Trail of Don Quixote,” August Jaccaci presents to the reader a quaint and picturesque description of the people, sites, and ruins which he encounters duringa trip through the old Spanish province of La Mancha. The author’s chief interest is to visit and investigate the places in which many of the adventures of the Knight of the Rueful Countenance took place. Across the broad plateaus, sandy and desolate Jenness: (after a long argument by G. Paris) “I move the class agree with Paris and proceed to the next point in the day’s recitation.” Vallee: “What have you in the locket on your watch fob?” Goodhue: “A lock of my father’s hair” Vallee: “But your father is still alive.” Goodhue: “Yes, but his hair is all gone.” Teacher: “I want so see you get a G in this exam, young man.” Shyne: “So do I. Let’s pull together.” Report) in their barren and rugged beauty, over mountains, and through the vineyard country, one is taken with the author, in a small, two-wheeled cart, which bumps along in a most uncomfortable way. The book is most interesting through- out and describes vividly the sights and ruins which still remain, even in the nineteenth century. —Dorothy Cole, ’20. Hughes: (when the bell is five minutes late in ringing at the close of school) “Those clocks are working for the Company.” Latin is a language dead, As dead as it can be, It killed the ancient Romans And now it’s killing me. La Croix (to manager): “There’s two men on our team that are no good.” Manager: “That so, who’s the other one?”