Quincy High School - Goldenrod Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 31 WOULD WE BE SURPRISED IF WE HEARD THIS? Mr. Collins: “Are you positive, Mr. Jewell, that you thoroughly understand this advance chapter in Virgil, which you are going to take up in your class to- morrow?” Mr. Jewell: “No, but since this chapter is susceptible of differentiating and vary- ing interpretations, I fancy that I will express myself in terms significantly obscure to prevent anyone from taking interest enough to question me about the matter.” Oh, wouldn’t it be great, oh simply fine If Couch had a shave, and Bartlett a shine. Sumner Besse. Miss Dawes: “Edgar Horton, you don’t talk so much as your sister.” Beses: “No wonder, he’s not a woman.” Miss Seymour: “Don’t have your margin too much in the style of the shimmy, or I’ll send it back.” Haskell: (trying to explain a story) “Yes, there was a wedding, a man married a girl.” HEARD IN THE ENGLISH CLASS Mr. Blanchard: “How do the Chinamen regard the Americans?” Merrill: “I don’t know, I never was a Chinaman.” Miss Zeller: (to pupil) “Read what you have in your notebook.” Pupil: “Impossible, what’s the use of putting it into your notebook? I think it is better to put it into your head.” Miss Zeller: “Providing you have one.” Mr. Barr: (after looking at Abele) “If some of us could see ourselves as others see us, we wouldn’t have to ‘doll up’ on ‘Freak Day’.” THE DAY REPORTS WERE ISSUED Angry Student: “I don’t see why you flunked me in-, why, I knew it back- wards.” Teacher: “Yes, that’s the trouble.” Mr. Mitchell: (football coach) “Have you taken a shower?” Freshman: “No, is one missing?” Mr. Shyne: “Those trousers of yours look a bit worn.” Mr. Holden: “They’re on their last legs.” Kennedy: (dancing or rather jazzing) “You catch my step wonderfully well.” She: “Yes, every time on the shin.” Mr. Thomas: “You can readily understand that if I have an enclosed volume of gas and heat it very rapidly, I will change the temperature very quickly.” How strange. William Deane, Joke Editor.

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30 THE GOLDEN-ROD Jokes The Joke Editor wishes to thank the school, this includes the teachers as well as the pupils, for the aid of both is essential to a successful issue, for heartily co-operating with him in making the Joke Department of The Golden-Rod a success. Humor is the core of life. Without the many humorous little incidents that arc continually popping up in our day’s work, we should soon become dissatisfied and morose. If Shakespeare were living today, he would be forced to improve his puns if he wished to compare with those arising in some of our classes. Don’t forget there are three more issues of your school magazine, and all jokes will be cheerfully received by the Joke Editor. He would like to suggest that every home-room teacher in the building appoint one student as junk collector for that room. In this way the school will be thoroughly combed for material, and we may expect a pleasant improvement in this column. Hoping that no-one has reason to take offense at anything in the following pages, we remain ever eager to receive any corrections or suggestions. Subscribers not fully understanding these jokes will be supplied with laughing gas at club rates. Miss Perkins: (to pupil in rear of room) “What are you laughing at, not me I hope?” Pupil: “No, M’am.” Miss Perkins: “Well, what else is there in the room to laugh at?” HEARD ON STAIRWAY Miss Davison: “I was at sea myself, when first starting to learn bookkeeping.” Pupil: “Well. I’m in the middle of the ocean.” Miss Zeller explains to Jackson why he misused the pronoun “tu” in speaking of Miss Wiley. “ ‘Usted’ is the proper form to use, meaning ‘you,’ unless of course, you are very intimate.” Miss Zeller, in explaining the use of personal pronouns, used for an example, “He loves me.” Miss Zeller: “Of course, you people know this is not true; it’s merely an ex- ample!” Oh, slush! While reciting in Ancient History and answering a question as to what was the use of women’s hair in one of the Punic Wars, Miss L. answered, “Women cut off their hair and used it for ammunition.” EXTRACT FROM A JUNIOR GIRL’S THEME “When the Duke of York was five years old his head was so big it would fit a man twice his age.” EXTRACT FROM A JUNIOR BOY’S THEME “If anyone failed to carry an umbrella on the streets of London in Queene Anne’s time, he was taking a chance of getting up to his ankles in mud.” Olsen: “Do you like animals?” Miss Campbell: “Are you fishing for compliments?”

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