Quincy High School - Goldenrod Yearbook (Quincy, MA)

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30 THE GOLDEN-ROD Jokes The Joke Editor wishes to thank the school, this includes the teachers as well as the pupils, for the aid of both is essential to a successful issue, for heartily co-operating with him in making the Joke Department of The Golden-Rod a success. Humor is the core of life. Without the many humorous little incidents that arc continually popping up in our day’s work, we should soon become dissatisfied and morose. If Shakespeare were living today, he would be forced to improve his puns if he wished to compare with those arising in some of our classes. Don’t forget there are three more issues of your school magazine, and all jokes will be cheerfully received by the Joke Editor. He would like to suggest that every home-room teacher in the building appoint one student as junk collector for that room. In this way the school will be thoroughly combed for material, and we may expect a pleasant improvement in this column. Hoping that no-one has reason to take offense at anything in the following pages, we remain ever eager to receive any corrections or suggestions. Subscribers not fully understanding these jokes will be supplied with laughing gas at club rates. Miss Perkins: (to pupil in rear of room) “What are you laughing at, not me I hope?” Pupil: “No, M’am.” Miss Perkins: “Well, what else is there in the room to laugh at?” HEARD ON STAIRWAY Miss Davison: “I was at sea myself, when first starting to learn bookkeeping.” Pupil: “Well. I’m in the middle of the ocean.” Miss Zeller explains to Jackson why he misused the pronoun “tu” in speaking of Miss Wiley. “ ‘Usted’ is the proper form to use, meaning ‘you,’ unless of course, you are very intimate.” Miss Zeller, in explaining the use of personal pronouns, used for an example, “He loves me.” Miss Zeller: “Of course, you people know this is not true; it’s merely an ex- ample!” Oh, slush! While reciting in Ancient History and answering a question as to what was the use of women’s hair in one of the Punic Wars, Miss L. answered, “Women cut off their hair and used it for ammunition.” EXTRACT FROM A JUNIOR GIRL’S THEME “When the Duke of York was five years old his head was so big it would fit a man twice his age.” EXTRACT FROM A JUNIOR BOY’S THEME “If anyone failed to carry an umbrella on the streets of London in Queene Anne’s time, he was taking a chance of getting up to his ankles in mud.” Olsen: “Do you like animals?” Miss Campbell: “Are you fishing for compliments?”

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 2D THE CLASS TEAMS The Freshmen have built up a strong team which will be a match for the Sophomore Class team. Practice has been held on practically every morning and the Freshman-Sophomore game on November 25 will prove to be a very exciting one. In the Freshmen there is some good material for a team which will in a few years uphold Quincy’s glory on the football field. The Sophomore Class organized a promising football team under the direction of Coach Green. Hussey was chosen captain. The team is scheduled to meet the Freshmen on November 25. The winner of this game will meet the victor of the Junior-Senior game to decide the class championship. Their first game this season was with the Boston College High freshmen, whom they easily defeated with a score of 20 to 0. The lineup for Quincy was as follows: Laing 1. e., Jones. 1. t., McQuarrie 1. g., McGovern c., Durgin r. g.. Smith r. t.. Arvison r. e., Armstrong 1. h., Rankin r. h., Hussey q. b., Woodworth f. b. The Junior Class team was organized under the direction of Mr. Leavitt, No- vember 20. Donald “Hap” Davis was the choice for captain. This team also contains many of the players on the regular school team, and so hould be good competitors with the Seniors when they play on December 2. The Seniors were called out to organize a class football team on November 17. “Stonewall’’ Jackson was unanimously chosen captain. Coach Nissen has efficient- ly drilled the team for the Junior-Senior game. ATHLETIC NOTES Brown T4 is playing right end for Syracuse. Paul Larkin T5 is playing for Lehigh. Crosscup T4 is with the Harvard team. LeCain T7 is substitute half back for Tufts. Mullen T7 is playing with the Quincy Civics team. Prout T5 is on the Syracuse track team. Hedges T9 is quarter back for Deane Academy second team. Peterson TO is right guard for Brown. Foy T4 is right guard for Boston College. Wm. MacMahon To, representing M. I. T., came in second at the Intercol- legiate Track Meet held at New York, November 22. Although our past football season does not register high on the percentage of games won, it has had its bright spots. These were produced mainly by the won- derful work of Coach Mitchell, Teacher-Manager Green, and Mr. Ball, all new mem- bers of the faculty. Much credit is due Mr. Mitchell for his tireless work as coach and for his instilling such wonderful fighting spirit into our players. To Mr. Green, whose activity and success in “gathering in the shekels” has been nothing short of miraculous, we owe our present satisfactory financial condition. And last, but far, far from least, is Mr. Ball, whose spendid co-operation, done in his own quiet way, is heartily appreciated. This trio has surely proved itself a wonderful addition to the school. And right here, we wish to extend to them, on behalf of the entire student body, the most heartfelt thanks and appreciation for their ex- cellent work. Edgar G. Lundin, Athletic Editor.

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THE GOLDEN-ROD 31 WOULD WE BE SURPRISED IF WE HEARD THIS? Mr. Collins: “Are you positive, Mr. Jewell, that you thoroughly understand this advance chapter in Virgil, which you are going to take up in your class to- morrow?” Mr. Jewell: “No, but since this chapter is susceptible of differentiating and vary- ing interpretations, I fancy that I will express myself in terms significantly obscure to prevent anyone from taking interest enough to question me about the matter.” Oh, wouldn’t it be great, oh simply fine If Couch had a shave, and Bartlett a shine. Sumner Besse. Miss Dawes: “Edgar Horton, you don’t talk so much as your sister.” Beses: “No wonder, he’s not a woman.” Miss Seymour: “Don’t have your margin too much in the style of the shimmy, or I’ll send it back.” Haskell: (trying to explain a story) “Yes, there was a wedding, a man married a girl.” HEARD IN THE ENGLISH CLASS Mr. Blanchard: “How do the Chinamen regard the Americans?” Merrill: “I don’t know, I never was a Chinaman.” Miss Zeller: (to pupil) “Read what you have in your notebook.” Pupil: “Impossible, what’s the use of putting it into your notebook? I think it is better to put it into your head.” Miss Zeller: “Providing you have one.” Mr. Barr: (after looking at Abele) “If some of us could see ourselves as others see us, we wouldn’t have to ‘doll up’ on ‘Freak Day’.” THE DAY REPORTS WERE ISSUED Angry Student: “I don’t see why you flunked me in-, why, I knew it back- wards.” Teacher: “Yes, that’s the trouble.” Mr. Mitchell: (football coach) “Have you taken a shower?” Freshman: “No, is one missing?” Mr. Shyne: “Those trousers of yours look a bit worn.” Mr. Holden: “They’re on their last legs.” Kennedy: (dancing or rather jazzing) “You catch my step wonderfully well.” She: “Yes, every time on the shin.” Mr. Thomas: “You can readily understand that if I have an enclosed volume of gas and heat it very rapidly, I will change the temperature very quickly.” How strange. William Deane, Joke Editor.