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Page 20 text:
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16 The Golden-Rod JOKES. I HE following is an extract from the secre- tarial report of Mr. Henry Bogan, our well known authority on and exponent of the modern dances: “Miss Dawes, with her usual keenness, surprised Mr. Larkin teaching his “Life of Johnson” the fox-trot. As Miss Dawes recognized the attainments Mr. Larkin and his wonderful book possessed, she en- deavored to have Mr. Larkin give a public performance. As is well known, Mr. Larkin is rather diffident about appearing in the lime-light, and it was only after a little coax- ing and a few words of encouragement from Miss Dawes that he overcome his natural modesty, and, with the aid of his marvelously trained book, gave an exhibition of its terpsichorean qualities. “He began with the most ancient classic Greek dances, the Bacchanalia being especial- ly good. Then he led the book through the pagan dances of the Dark Ages, which the book performed with great skill. He then touched lightly upon the minuet, the quad- rille, the Virginia reel, and others, finally taking up modern dances and introducing a few creations of his own that were a revelation to the beholders. He concluded with an ex- hibition of light, fairy-like ballet dancing, in which the book eclipsed the performances of all the great exponents of aesthetic danc- ing. “Miss Dawes seemed to have been trying to memorize some of the steps, but the move- ments were too intricate for any but a master- dancer to comprehend, so she called the class to order.” A freshman candidate for the orchestra failed to bring his instrument to the first re- hearsal. He said it was impossible. Miss Amsden:—What do you play? Pupil:—Piano! 23:—Goodwin have you studied Latin? Goodwin:—I’ve—er—taken it! 23:—What sort of sailors were these men? Le Count, To:—Er—they were sailors that sail a boat! Mr. Paulson thinks that 117 z' chead’s name should be changed. Miss Thomson (to Crosscup):—What’s the Latin verb meaning “to shut in”? Crosscup:—I don’t know. Miss T.:—Well, what’s the verb meaning “to shut out”? C.:—I don’t know. Wicked voice from the rear:—What’s the verb meaning “to shut up”? The Golden-Rod urges and advises som: of the freshmen not to meander upon the lawn, as the similarity in appearance renders them inconspicuous. Mr. French says that a chair is a piece of furniture which a person sits down in with four legs and a back. Miss Grant: -How much will the auto cost in this problem? Pupil:—$400. Voice from the hack of the room: That’s a Ford! Wet Browne (in music):—Gee, I’ve got a voice like a fish! No, Wet, you’re wrong. It’s more like a fish-horn. 23:—And the king could be lazy and have an easy time---,Simmons, you’d like to be king, wouldn’t you? Haskins (as Mr. Paulson begins an ex- periment) :—Will that explode? M r. Paulson :—No. Haskins (greatly relieved):—Gee, that’s good! R. H. Gay Joke Editor
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