Purdue University School of Veterinary Medicine - Anamnesis Yearbook (West Lafayette, IN)

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Anamnesis +There were two dogs chasing a female greyhound that was in heat. These two old boys weren't in very good shape and about two hrs. into the chase one turned to the other and said in a gasp, Man, ain't this a bitch? To which his buddy replied, It sure as hell better bel +A pet owner calls up his veterinarian one night and says, Doc. my dogs were mating and now they are stuck together. How can I stop this? The veterinarian promptly replies, Hang up and let me call you back in 5 minutes. I'm sure it will work. because it worked for me. . 7 ..-Q-I. .-.,, ' is I -4 :EE wIv I V +An older couple in a small town noticed their cat wasn't looking well. The wife prevailed on her husband to visit the vet the next time he was in town. Doc was getting on in years and was slightly hard of hearing. Consequently, he misunderstood the man's description. Thinking the animal was a calf he said this condition was common at this time of year and that a quart of castor oil should be given. The man dutifully went home, caught the kitty by the scruff of the neck, and got in a quart of oil. Several days later he saw old Doc down at the general store. How is that calf of yours? Oh, Doc, you don't hear so well. I said C-A-T. Good God. man, you didn't give him the castor oil, did you?l Course I did you told me to. Well, how is the little thing? I don't know, last time I saw him he was headed over the hill with five buddies - two digging, two burying. and one looking for new ground. +A man went looking for a place to board his horse. The first place was beautiful but wanted 5200 a month and said that he had to haul off his own manure. No bargainl So he found a less attractive place for Slwfmo. that also required him to haul off his own manure. No bargain. He finally found a place for S25 a month and asked if he had to haul off his own manure. The stockmaster replied, Mister, for S25 a month there won't be any manurel +An animal science professor was conducting a lab on Bovine mating behavior. He led the bull past a heifer in heat but the bull didn't blink an eye. So he turned the bull around for another pass but still the bull didn't move a hair in the heifer's direction. The prof promptly pulled out a corn cob and vigorously rubbed the bull on top of its head. The bull went straight for the heifer and got the iob done Cas Dr. Runnels would sayb. A girl in the back row of the class was heard saying I guess that's why there are so many bald-headed men around. Part Jokes Qriiffrfzf 15 its 54 ' Elf -S 5 v E 51 f ' 5 lrfigczlfw 4' ri 3955. 0 'V' f 5115, fs ' .515 1- illQ ,I if -.-. 66: +A large Bengal tiger walked into a bar and ordered a double martini. He drank it down in one gulp and ordered another. As the bartender was preparing the second drink a hooker who frequented the bar came in and stood at the bar a few feet away from the tiger. After finishing his second double martini the tiger walked over to the hooker and in three bites consumed her completely. The tiger walked back to his stool. sat down and began yawning, saying, l don't know what's come over me, I'm so sleepy. To this the bartender responded, It must have been the bar-bitch-you-ate. +An old and a young bull are standing on a hill overlooking a valley of heifers. The young one says, Let's run down there and breed some of those heifers. To which the older bull replies, Let's walk down and breed them aII. +Vet school is like a bitch in heat: when you run they all chase you, and when you stop . . . +Did you hear about the new book on semen collection techniques from the boar? lt's entitled Sex without GiIt +Why can't elephants use sheep for tampons any more? Because of the toxic flock syndrome. xx NM ..