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Page 23 text:
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of my vanished forefathers, have pity upon my shortcomings. If further doubts assail thee, and thy sviddenly- acquired infirmities will permit thee a closer view, gaze for but one shuddering moment upon the tomb of my ' 97 ancestor and thou wilt forgive me everything. Thou canst but realize my manifold disadvantages of genealogy, mine inherent lack of originality, and that ' 99 will soon persecute thee with her attentions; but harden not thy heart, and think only of thy mercies. Think of the great and mighty star that is so soon to disappear from thy college firmament, the star of ' 98; of the blessed privilege that thou enjoyest of constituting an infinitesimal fraction of the same constellation; and pondering well over these benefits ignore mine idiosyncrasies. I am thine to use as thou wilt, yea, as thine own, even unto all that I have of grinds and roasts. Be merciful unto me, oh Purdue, and forget all mine infirmities, that upon thy head may rest the choicest blessing of ' 9$ Debris
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Page 22 text:
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Tntroduction ip «p« (iHOU hast dreaded mine advent, oh, mighty Purdue ! Long days and nights of pain and suffering hast thou spent in bewailing mine approach ; with sighs and manifest dis- pleasure dost thou herald my coming. But, lo ! I am with you in all my pristine splendor, clad in shining armor that shall turn aside thy poisoned arrows of scorn, sarcasm and disdain. Think not, oh deluded one, that thou canst cause me to turn from the beaten path ; that I will change my tailor- made war-suit for such as thee. Thou mayest continue thy groaning and thy gnashing of teeth ad infinitum, for thou hast been sorely afflicted in years gone by and hast escaped with but a few cicatrices. Yea, verily, I have come, notwithstanding the unholy reputation of my fearful and wonderful ancestors, and knowing full well that my history will be known to posterity as the climax of all that is unutterable. When time hangeth heavily upon thy prehensile organs, great Alma Mater, let thy thoughts turn back to olden days, and, recalling the moth- eaten and disintegrated conglomeration of jokes that seared the consciences
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