Providence Technical High School - Review Yearbook (Providence, RI)

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1928 minutes later, the awfulest racket you ever heard started up out there. Harks, growls, meows, shreiks, an’ groans. When that movie actress an’ the rest of us got out there, there warn’t no leopard nor no dog- fishes. The little pet had simply disap- peared. That woman stomped an raved around there for a couple of hours, threat- enin’ to persecute the town an’ evry- body else she could think of for “malici- ously conspiring to the destruction of poor little Tommy.” Tommy was the name she called that young leopard by. Nothin’ never come of her threats though.” “Hoa-a-a-g-g! p’tu!” The old man spat with deadly accuracy into the glowing stove and shifted his cud of tobacco to the other cheek, lie leaned back in his chair and placed his feet on the iron rail, thus preparing to continue his story. “YVa-a-l, things got worse an’ worse. The gol dern mice an rats was every- where. We couldn’t keep any livestock ’cause the rats cleaned up all the feed we had. Some of the neople that lived here all year round moved out. We didn’t know what to do. We’d tried catchin’ ’em with hook an’ line an' with nets, but it didn’t do us any good.” “Then one day, a fella’ come walkin’ up the beach an’ stopped to talk to me. He was a queer lookin’ fella’. He hadn’t had a shave for a week or so an’ his hair looked like it hadn’t been cut since he was a kid. His shirt was full of holes, while the only thing that kept his pants from failin’ off was a piece of rope tied around the top of ’em; an’ I reckon he found his shoes in somebody’s dump. Wa-a-1, he sits down on a coil of rope right near where 1 was workin’ an’ starts in talkin’. 1 told him about what a pest the dogfishes was gettin’ to be an’ how we had tried to get rid of ’em. By Mighty, he just sat there an’ laughed like time, after I told him. He laughed so 109 much that my dander begun to raise, an’ I up and says;’ “‘Well, if you think its so gol blank funny let’s see you try to get rid of ’em’.” “ ‘Why should 1 ?’ he says. ‘It ain’t none of my business’.” “He kept still for quite a spell an’ then he ups an’ says:” “ ‘How much is it worth to you an’ the rest of the folks around here to get rid of these pests of yours’?” “ ‘Wa-a-1, I says, I don’t know how much it's worth to the rest, hut. I’d be willin’ to pay quite a deal to get rid of ’em. If you can guarantee to get rid of ’em for good, why 1 reckon they’ll he willin’ to pay anything. You hang around here for a couple of days ’an’ I’ll find out how much they’ll pay.’” “So 1 went around to some of the big men of the town an’ told ’em about this fella. The upshot of it was, they was willin’ to pay, but they didn’t want to pay too much. They all said they was willin’ to pay anywheres from a hun- dred to two hundred dollars to anyone who could get rid of the darned pests.” “Next day that fella showed up along about ten o’clock. I thought I’d see what he wanted for the job before I told him what my limit was. So I just told him that the men in the town was mighty poor an’ couldn’t pay much, but they was wil- lin’ to pay all they could. He kept still for a spell an’ then he says:” “ ‘You pay me one hundred dollars an’ settle all my expenses an’ I’ll do away with the dogfishes.’ ” “1 didn’t like the part about his ex- penses an’ I told him so. We haggled an’ talked for quite a spell until it slipped out of me that I could offer as high as two hundred dollars. He told me right quick that he would take the two hundred an’ pay his bills out of that. I couldn’t get him any lower after that, so we finally agreed. THE TECH REVIEW

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108 THE TECH REVIEW 1928 The Pied Piper of the Dogfishes By John Edward Cook. '28 “What’s ’at? None of you fellows never hearn a dogfish bark? I reckon none of you ever had much to do with a regular longshoreman, did ye? Um-m-m. I thought not. 'Hie most you fellas know baout salt water is. that you dump your pork in it after you butcher your hogs in the fall. You know I used t’ work along the shore, quaugin’, an’ darnin’, an’, doin’ a little fishin’, in season. ’At was before I got the fool notion of bein’, nurse to cows an’, hogs an’ raisin’ my own perta- ters. By mighty. I wished I’d stayed there, too. Wa-a-1 as I was savin’ to you a coupla minits ago, there was a time when you could hear dogfishes barkin’ an’ yap- pin’ mighty nigh all the time.” The old man who had made these state- ments, reached into his pocket and pulling forth a plug of tobacco began struggling with frightful grimaces to bite off a chew, by thrusting the plug of Navy up under his left ear where he had a few fangs left. He passed the plug to one of his compan- ions, on request, who proceeded to worry a piece off. and then deposited the re- turned plug in his own pocket. 'Phe room in which these reminiscences were being narrated was the same as that in any small village store. Shelves with various brands and variaties of gaudily labelled cans of fruits and vegetables; barrels of pork, molasses, vinegar, and sour pickles ranged along the walls; sev- eral strips of flypaper hanging from nails driven in the ceiling and covered with deceased victims. There was a large stove in the center of the floor with a footrest worn smooth by the pressure of countless number of rubber boots and cowhide stogies. An iron rail, bolted to the floor, marked an enclosure of narrow boards filled with tobacco stained sawdust. The stove was surrounded by half a doz- en overall-clad gentry of the plow. They refreshed themselves from time to time with a fresh chew of tobacco or additional pipefuls of Old Pippin, “The Smoker’s Delight.” The old man continued his story with frequent pauses for the pur- pose of expectorating prodiguous amounts of tobacco juice at the stove. “About ten or twelve years ago, I was livin’ in a little place called Allen’s Har- bor. 'Phe place was a little bigger than this, an’ had somewhere around three hundred people livin’ there. 'Phe dogfishes had got to l c regular pests around there. By crimnieny! you couldn’t sleep for the racket they made. They would get in a gang out in the harbors; along about sun- down they would start in yappin’ an’ yap- pin’ until everybody was nigh stone deef. After it got good an’ dark, they would come out on the beach an’ eat anything that had been left around. We couldn’t keep any cats. The dogfish just simply drove ’em off. An’ seein’ there warn’t no cats, the rats an’ mice began to overrun the place. It got so, the summer boarders wouldn’t come there any more. Said that there was more noise there then in all creation.” “There was one of ’em, a movie ac- tress; an she shure was purty, too. Wa- a-1, as I was savin’, she had a pet tiger or leopard that she led aroun’ on a chain. That little pet sure could fight. It had all the dogs in the place licked to a frazzle. One night, that leopard started yowlin’ down on the beach. Then the dogfish started yappin’ an’ barkin’. About two

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110 THE TECH REVIEW 1928 “He was paid one-half his price that night with the understandin’ that lie would get the rest when he finished his job. He took his money an’ disappeared for two or three days. On the third day. a wagon came into town with a big crate full of cats. The driver of the wagon was that fella, though 1 hardly knew him. He had got himself all dolled up with a new suit, hat an’ shoes. He’d got a haircut an’ shave, too. so that he looked like one of these here city dudes. He unloaded the crate down on the beach. While he was dumpin’ it of! of the wag- on. the cats started yowlin’’. By Crim- nieny! you orter heard the racket the dogfishes started kickin’ up right oft . The only thing that kept ’an from coinin’ onto the beach after the cats was us. After unloadin’ the cats, he bought an old mot- or boat from one of the fellas there. He fixed a screen of chicken’ wire over the whole boat an’ put the crate of cats inside it. He wanted the rest of his money then before he left, he said. They give him what was coinin’ to him an’ he climbed inside the caged boat an’ fixed the screen tight so that nothin’ could get An American and a Scotsman were speaking about the intense cold in the North of Scotland. “Why, it’s nothing at all compared to the cold we get in the States.’’ said the American. “I can recollect one winter when a sheep jumping from a hillock into a field, became suddenly frozen on the way, and stuck in the air like a mass of ice.” “But, good heavens, man,” exclaimed the Scotsman, “the law of gravity wouldn’t allow that.’’ “Oh, we don’t do things by halves at home,” replied the Yankee, “the law of gravity was frozen, too. in. We shoved the boat off of the beach for him. Just as soon as the boat was free of the beach, it started tossin’ an’ the cats they, started yowlin’, Wa-a-1 say! you orter seen the dogfishes then. They made enough noise to dee fen a doorpost. Lucky for that fella, he had that cage over the boat, 'cause those fishes was jumpin’ an' bumpin' right against it, try in’ to get at those cats. The fella started up the motor an’ the boat began to pull away from land. Those fish started after that boat as tight as they could go. There was so many of ’em that the water around the boat was beat to a foam by ’em. Just as soon as the fish started to foller the boat, everybody started yellin’ an’ dancin’ round they was so glad. “That was the last we ever see of ’em, both the fella an’ the fishes. None of the fishes ever come back, anyways. There was only one trouble come of gettin’ rid of the fish—we couldn’t get to sleep nights for a month or so, it was so awful quiet. Why, those fish had really sung us to sleep nights only we didn’t know it.” A small boy entered a grocer’s shop. “Have you any dry biscuits?” he asked the pleasant faced man behind the counter. “Yes,” returned the other, “as many as you want, 1 dare say.” He opened a large tin. “Is that the only kind you have?” “No, here’s another,” said the kindly grocer. “Are you sure they’re very dry?” “Quite sure,” smiled the other. “Very well, then”—the boy backed to- ward the open door—“why not give ’em a drink?”