Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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Class Prophecy I-Iello! Steve, I shouted, with characteristic tact, how are you feeling P All right, thanks , answered the figure, just a little bit run down, that's all. There was nothing to be done, so I passed on and came to the bank of a fiery river. As I gazed at it, an eight-oared shell sped by, in which I dimly made out the forms of Bob Roach, Berk Ransome, Bob Smith, Clint Winant, Charlie', Savage, Ned Dillon, Bill Wallace, and Tough Rogers. In the stern was a little devil lashing them withia long whip, and on either side was a launch with a big demon in it, who stuck a pitchfork into anyone who showed signs of weakening. I Out for a spin, boys, I remarked, always, as you notice, ready with the cheerful remark at the appropriate moment. ' No, came back the scornful voice of 4'Bob Smith, we're picking daisies out in back of Brown. And they vanished into the smoke. Hel1o, 'said a voice. I turned, and beheld the care-worn features of Manager Frank Larkin. I-Ie appeared in great spirits for a busy man. What's the matter P said I, crew doing pretty well? Best eight on the Styxf' chortled Frank. And say, I guess I'm a poor manager, too. I just got a poor devil that couldn't read to sign a contract to build us a fire-proof boat- house for a couple of pitchforks and an asbestos union-suit. Is Roy I-Iowe down here yet P I asked. I No, said Frank, I-Ie's a matinee idol now, picture on every girl's bureau, and all that sort of thing. I-Ie's starring now in his own show, 'Stabbed in a Lonely Spotf They say it's the hit of the season. By the way, did you know that Menefee Clancy had just been elected president of New York University P I expressed my regret, and asked about some of the other fellows. Well, continued Frank, 'Phil' Krauthoff has just been elected the first prohibition mayor of New York City. 'Sandy' Macgregor has given up teaching Sun- day-school, and has gone in for literature. I-Iis poem begin- I9

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The Nassau H erald munications from the dead. Noticing that the imp who brought the telegram was still lingering about, he tossed him a couple of bits of sulphur, and departed. I had just begun to hurry on, when I stumbled over a long graceful form lying in my path, bound hand and foot and with a young tablecloth stuffed in its mouth. Its features were so blackened with cinders as to be almost unrecognizable, but, acting on a sudden suspicion, I removed about twenty yards of linen from its throat and the iigure immediately burst into song. Well, John Drummond, I cried, I knew I'd find you here, but what did you do to get this, and I pointed to the rope and the gags. First, said he, let me thank you for the neat way you removed that obstruction from my throat. I've seen you get away with some gags before, but I've never felt like thanking you for it till now. Go on, said I untying the ropes, your story interests mef' Well, said john, it was this way. Steve White and I got up a little entertainment for the benefit of the Tartarus A. C. We had it well advertized, and got quite a large aud- ience, and everything was Sunday till I got up to render that little ballad, entitled, 'Loan Me Your Soap, My Glass Eye's Dustyf I had gotten rid of just one verse, when somebody caught me in the back of the neck with a pitchfork. The last thing I saw was 'Steve' chasing a big devil over a pile of cinders. I-Ie certainly was travelling, you could have played checkers on his coat-tails. When I woke up, I was where you found me. I guess they must have gotten Steve, too. just then we heard a thundering roar, and perceived a whole flock of devils in a big red automobile. They were running up and down the road, passing and repassing over a helpless figure stretched in their path. Excuse me, said jack, who was evidently still mindful of his recent experience. I-Ie slipped around a heap of sulphur and was gone. ' I turned my attention to the figure in the road. Every time the machine went over him, I could hear him murmur, The sons o' bucks! Let me at 'em. I8

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The Nassau H erald ning, 'How sweet the dew-drop nestles in the dell,' has been very favorably criticized. 'Wally' Sparks is married, and -says there's nothing like having a football record back of you when your wife wants another shovelful of coal on the fur- nace. 'Andy' Monroe and 'Monte' Angell -here Frank shook his head. It's a sad case, said he, of how intemperate habits formed in college are responsible for the downfall of many a likely youth. His voice broke, and he was unable to continue. Wiping away a furtive tear or two as I thought of these two awful examples of intemperance, I sadly shook Frank's hand and Frank, and departed. A genial voice calling my name caused me to turn, and there before me I saw Tommy Thompson, lying on a huge grating, under which was blazing an immense fire while a horde of devlish looking characters turned him from side to side with pitchforks. On his face was a big broad grin. Well , I stammered, you seem to be enjoying yourself. Aren't you at all nervous F No , said he, and yet , and he pointed to the bars on which he lay, it certainly is grating on my nerves. That's a hot one, all right, I gasped, but don't you mind this continually being turned like a piece of steak F Oh no, he laughed, one good turn deserves another, you know, and then, as Chairman of the Senior Council I got used to being roasted on all sides. With a wild shriek, I fled madly through the sulphurious atmosphere, and ran right into the arms of Bev Ober, just coming from the ferry. 'I-Iel1o!,' said he, where are you going? Back to life, if I can get there, I cried. Well, said 'Bev', sniffing the smoke, there ought to be a fire-exit here somewhere. Nary a one, said I. Well, said he, This old Captain Charon I came over with asked me for the makings, and I didn't have them. Thanks for the idea, I called back over my shoulder, as I dashed off in the direction of the ferry. I reached the bank just as the aged ferryman was pushing oft. How about tak- 20