Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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The N assau H evfald They had nabbed him and put him in a boiling caldron, but, try as they would, they couldn't get him stewed, so they had to let him go. Bill Nichol, Ned Castle and Charlie Law- rence had just accepted positions in Professor Basset's Finish- ing School for Girls. QI can see the girls' finish, all right, with that combinationj. . Those entertaining fellows, Bachrach and Gray, were ,mak- ing quite a hit on the Keith Circuit with their latest song- success. When the I-Iay Has Turned to Fever, Nellie Dearf, I-Iow is T. Clark coming along ?,' I asked. Why , said jim, I went to see 'T' just once about a year ago. I was ushered into the parlor, and waited there a minute, when in rushed a kid about five years old, and took a high- dive through the window. He was followed by several more, who proceeded to do giant swings on the chandelier and trapeze stunts on the Curtain poles. They were just getting up a three high on the grand piano, and one kid was all ready for aback flip off the mantle-piece, when in walked 'T', big as life. He didn't seem to mind the riot at all. 'Is this a-er- regular thing?' I asked, pushing my top hat to a place of comparative safety. 'Sure', said T. 'boys will be boys, you know, and it keeps 'em healthyf I lasted about five minutes and fled. 'Gee,' said I, as I made my escape, 'I'm glad she turned me down.' just then we heard a loud crash and a roar. I looked, and in front of me stood a huge dragon, executing a sort of in- fernal snake-dance as he hastily swallowed a few shades who had strayed too near. just before they' vanished, I made out the struggling form of Mead Lewis among them. Poor old Mead, said Jim. That's what he gets for that Press Club curiosity of his Well, he'll get all the inside information he wants now. But why is the brute so lively ?,' I remarked. If, you'd swallowed as many shades as he has, you'd be full of spirits, too, ventured Iim. Passing on, we soon came to a high wall with a lot of holes in it, at irregular intervals. From one of the holes issued I6

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Class Prophecy you catch my driftj when suddenly the ground seemed to give way beneath my feet, and I slipped headlong into a yawning crevasse. This was not one of your prohibition crevasses. It was wide open. I went down, down, down, and then down a little further, and finally landed a la cannon rush against something hard, and knew no more. I awakened with a regular Commencement headache, and a rather insufficient idea of my surroundings. It was the first drop I had had in a long time. I opened my eyes, and saw standing over me a shadowy form, rather scantily attired, and I noticed it was very warm. Taking a second glance at the face above me, I made out the classic features of jim Dwight, in a track suit. Where am I ? I murmured, in a real awakening heroine tone of voice. This is Hades , said Jim. It certainly is , said I, but where am I ? And then suddenly it came over me. I had taken the big jump, and was in the infernal region. But what are you doing here ? I inquired of jim, re- membering how the old ladies used to point him out on the campus as an example to their sons. I went into politics , he replied sadly. Oh, I remarked sympathetically. Are there any more of the boys here ? They,re almost all here , said Jim, and more coming in every day. He drew me quickly aside, and a corpulent shade dashed by, pursued by a couple of devils with pitchforks. Who's that doing the Longboat act P said I. That,s Tubby Cook, said jim, He's been running away from those fellows for five years now. He runs up to that door over there, and every time, just as he reaches it, they slam it in his face. He says he couldn't stand it if it didn't remind him so much of chapel in the good old days. We strolled on and Jim told me about some of the boys still upon earth. Monk Getty, it seems, had gone as a missionary to the Zulus, who had followed in his case their conventional process of welcoming a stranger. I5

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Class Prophecy fthe sound of many typewriters and voices raised in dicta- tion. All out yelled jim. Instantly three heads popped out of the hole, and I descried the shrewd features of Sim Winch, Louis Kaplan Stewart, and I. Fool'em Bennett. They have to keep these fellows chained up here, explained jim, or they'd have owned the place by this time. I-Ii, boys! I yelled, by way of starting the conversation. I-Iow do you like it here Pi' Rotten! came back Ike's dulcet tones. We're nothing but spirits down here, and every- body can see through us. The heads disappeared, and the typewriters resumed their tune. Telegram for Mr. Dwight, called a voice, and up dashed a little black devil waving an asbestos envelope. jim called him over, tore open the envelope, and read: 7 Golden Gate St. April 21st, For I-Ieaven's sake, Iim, can't you get the fellows to make less noise down there. We can't study at all up here with all that racket going on. A Signed, RANKIN AND O'I-IARA. Bud evidently finds it pretty hard to get away with a blulf where he is now, thought I. Well, said Jim, I guess I'll have to go and see the dean about this. Have they got a dean's office down here? I inquired, mopping sundry gallons from my perspiring brow. Iim looked at me in disgust. It wouldn't be Hades if they hadn't,', said he. That's sof' said I, ashamed of my display of density, Good luck to you. I Oh, I'll fix it up all right, said he. If the dean won't do anything I'll get 'Tot' Woodhull to put an editorial about it in the Daily Brimstonianf' Why don't you try a communication, said I, remembering the Prince's effective method of dealing with compulsory chapel. I would, sighed jim, but 'Tot' doesn't believe in com- I7