Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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W'a5hi1fLgt01fL's Birthday Oration particularly gifted with business ability in as much as he one time sold a box of cigarettes to Jack Fine and secured a cash payment. Mr. Dennis, the Treasurer, is the well known phil- anthropist who, instead of hurting his benefactees' feelings by coldly handing them money pretends to engage seriously in games of chance with them. Mr. Butler, the vice-president, has had extensive dealings with the banking institutions of Mercer Co., and it has been proved that only twice in the last two weeks has he been unable to meet his overdrawn accounts. As for Mr. Stevenson, the superintendent of female help, he is the greatest living authority on ladies' cigarettes, Mr. Ton- nele, the legal adviser, on the making's and Mr. Gilmour, the general manager, on the kind they used when he went to Labrador. It is commemorated that George Washington of Virginia was once provoked to using extremely profane language by Richard Lee. A fiery temper seems to be the birth right of those coming from south of Mason and Dixon's line. You know how hard McMillan works. You know too that Mac, doesn't always impress a preceptor with too vast a display of knowledge. One day Freshman year he spent three hours on a German lesson and had it cold. It was one of those days when the entire class seemed to know nothing. The Prof. called on such Solons as Buck Ewing and Puss Percy in vain. At last he called on Mac but Mac was thinking of money and merely looking pleasant. Gentlemen , he said, I regret that none of you take sufficient interest in your work to ever give a thought to decent preparation. Unless I see a marked im- provement I will be forced to condition the entire class. You may go. Mac walked up to him with blood in his eye. Mistah , he said, I am from the South and I consider yuh remarks as a personal affront. They are extremely distasteful to me. I room down in Little I-Iall, heah is my card, and I will arrange to have two of my friends receive yuh seconds any time. Mac was on his dignity but there was a little incident in the- life of Bob Entwistle that threw Bob off his dignity altogether. 15

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The Nassau H efald attention. Silence. Soon he thought he had lost his theatre tickets, he became very much excited and again leaned forward and soiled the rich brocade of her gown. Sir! ! she said. John Warner is another one of these humorists. He has said several famous things notable among which is his casual remark that the reason Mickey McCarthy made the wrestling team was that they wanted an Irishman to send up to Colum- bia. Some student took John up to New York over Sunday one time. At breakfast John was asked whether or not he would try some new kind of cereal. Sure , he said, I'll take a crack at it. When the roar of the Revolution subsided Washington settled down peaceably on his plantation and took to raising tobacco. Some of our most strenuous students have planned to raise tobacco after their serious application to the roar of this University. I don't want to make this speech sound like an advertising medium but sooner or later we will all hear of the Havanna Sumatra Alabama Tobacco Co. Among the officers of this company we note E. H. Wight, J. S. Dennis 21'1Cl, C. M. Butler, H. K. Gilmour, VV. C. Stevenson and T. M. Tonnele. The perspectus is somewhat as follows. We wish to secure hearty support and commiseration for the peculiar details of this nefarious scheme, The company has secured three million square feet of choice plug cut tobacco land in Neverwin Co., Alabama. It is positively guaranteed to be under water eleven months of the year but a plan has been evolved by which the water will be dried up very quickly. Mr. Wight and Mr. Butler have agreed to relieve the oppression of their spirits at regular intervals so they will fairly exude alcohol. They will then bathe in the lake which at present covers the land and after sufficient spirit has mingled with the waters a match will be applied and the water burned off in this manner. It is conservatively estimated that in ten years the land will be in f1t condition to grow potatoes. The pro- spectus then provides for the sale of the land and offers some novel inducements to the gentle sucker. It continues 'fMr. Wight, the president, is well known in sporting circles but is 14

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The Nassau H erald Bob had a charmer up in Orange and they had been burning holes in the mail bags all of this last fall when an invitation to her dance sauntered into his mail box. Though not adept in the toe exercise he attended, and it chanced that after supper- which, by the way spelled one frayed lettuce sandwich for Bob, -he stood on the outer edge of a group of the 'attractive mem- bers of Orange's younger society set'. A rather good looking student came up to him with two plates and told him to go and get some ice cream. This threw Bob off some. Then he turned to his hostess and inquired who the bird was. Why , she said, don't you know him, he's a very popular Freshman down at Princeton. Paul Bair is the hero of our next anecdote. P,aul's father thought his son was learning more than the curriculum furnish- ed Freshman year, so he 'hastened down to save his boy from drink's engulfing wave'. I-Ie got there in the evening, took a cab to the house, and Paul's landlady met him at the door. Does Paul Bair live here he said. Yes , said the lady, bring him right in. We know how Washington would not accept a third term. In this we have his great self denial. The people wanted him to take it, the great man wanted it, but no he said, give it to john. It was a chance for him to become more famous No he said I share my fame with John. jim Waller has a way of sharing the plums that fall on his side of the fence. T. VVilkins told Jim that one of their preceptors had lately become a father and though it was T's joke and the state- ment was false, jim took it in with all the sanguine credulity of youth. I-Ie saw the preceptor on the street next day and approached. I-Io! Professor! he said with his most winning smile I understand you are to be congratulated. That so? that so, Mr. Waller ? Yes, we hear you are the proud father of a small childf, Indeed, indeed, who told you that ? Oh , said the generous and undaunted Jim, Wilkins told me. There's a little story about Fred Dawson, that I will tell you now. One frosty morning Daws made a long run from his club to chapel, trying to eat a roll on the way and lament- 16