Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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The Nassau H efald attention. Silence. Soon he thought he had lost his theatre tickets, he became very much excited and again leaned forward and soiled the rich brocade of her gown. Sir! ! she said. John Warner is another one of these humorists. He has said several famous things notable among which is his casual remark that the reason Mickey McCarthy made the wrestling team was that they wanted an Irishman to send up to Colum- bia. Some student took John up to New York over Sunday one time. At breakfast John was asked whether or not he would try some new kind of cereal. Sure , he said, I'll take a crack at it. When the roar of the Revolution subsided Washington settled down peaceably on his plantation and took to raising tobacco. Some of our most strenuous students have planned to raise tobacco after their serious application to the roar of this University. I don't want to make this speech sound like an advertising medium but sooner or later we will all hear of the Havanna Sumatra Alabama Tobacco Co. Among the officers of this company we note E. H. Wight, J. S. Dennis 21'1Cl, C. M. Butler, H. K. Gilmour, VV. C. Stevenson and T. M. Tonnele. The perspectus is somewhat as follows. We wish to secure hearty support and commiseration for the peculiar details of this nefarious scheme, The company has secured three million square feet of choice plug cut tobacco land in Neverwin Co., Alabama. It is positively guaranteed to be under water eleven months of the year but a plan has been evolved by which the water will be dried up very quickly. Mr. Wight and Mr. Butler have agreed to relieve the oppression of their spirits at regular intervals so they will fairly exude alcohol. They will then bathe in the lake which at present covers the land and after sufficient spirit has mingled with the waters a match will be applied and the water burned off in this manner. It is conservatively estimated that in ten years the land will be in f1t condition to grow potatoes. The pro- spectus then provides for the sale of the land and offers some novel inducements to the gentle sucker. It continues 'fMr. Wight, the president, is well known in sporting circles but is 14

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PVashingt0n's Birthday Omtion the Dean every time. Instead of waking in Princeton he awoke in Philadelphia and got up here only too late. Though put through the ropes Buck still had a punch leftg a doctor's excuse would do the trick. He went to bed and summoned all his friends who had ever been sick. Grueman Ballin was barred from this session-one of the few sessions Grueman ever missed-but jock Emery was admitted and he told Buck all the symptoms and all the pains of appendicitis. The doctor was called very hurriedly. He had some trouble getting Buck to unhook his heels from behind his ears, but this done, he pronounced it acute appendicitis and sent him to the infirmary instanter. First they 'tried the ice-pack and Buck swore it brought immediate relief. Then he pleaded, but the doctor was so thoroughly excited that his prayers were of no avail. That night Buck's appendix was removed and since then it has been his keenest regret that he had only one appendix to give to the Absence Committee. I sometimes think that the blood of the careless, hilarious, yet doughty Hessians of Trenton courses in the veins of our redoubtable Teutonic funny man Rudolph Zinsser. His brother Bill told me his family were to be down to-day, so I would have to mention him. This is an immense subject and I would like to dodge it for Rudie is so clever you know. Some one asked him if he liked his moustache. Yes he said, its growing on me. He said he wasn't going to the dance for he had torn his trousers on the spur of the moment. He's really such a jester that I'rn afraid I will be the goat of one of his practical jokes so I'll tell a real gentle one on him. Once he went out to a dinner party with a theatre following. Dinner over, the entire crowd were packed into a bus and started for the theatre. Brother Bill was seated across from Rudie with his fair companion by his side. Some scintillating Witticism came into Rudie's head and he reached over and tapped the girl on the knee. Pardon me , he said , I mistook you for Bill. Certainly , she said. A few moments elapsed and Rudie leaned forward and again tapped her on the knee. Oh forgive me he said, but I was trying to get my brother's 13

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W'a5hi1fLgt01fL's Birthday Oration particularly gifted with business ability in as much as he one time sold a box of cigarettes to Jack Fine and secured a cash payment. Mr. Dennis, the Treasurer, is the well known phil- anthropist who, instead of hurting his benefactees' feelings by coldly handing them money pretends to engage seriously in games of chance with them. Mr. Butler, the vice-president, has had extensive dealings with the banking institutions of Mercer Co., and it has been proved that only twice in the last two weeks has he been unable to meet his overdrawn accounts. As for Mr. Stevenson, the superintendent of female help, he is the greatest living authority on ladies' cigarettes, Mr. Ton- nele, the legal adviser, on the making's and Mr. Gilmour, the general manager, on the kind they used when he went to Labrador. It is commemorated that George Washington of Virginia was once provoked to using extremely profane language by Richard Lee. A fiery temper seems to be the birth right of those coming from south of Mason and Dixon's line. You know how hard McMillan works. You know too that Mac, doesn't always impress a preceptor with too vast a display of knowledge. One day Freshman year he spent three hours on a German lesson and had it cold. It was one of those days when the entire class seemed to know nothing. The Prof. called on such Solons as Buck Ewing and Puss Percy in vain. At last he called on Mac but Mac was thinking of money and merely looking pleasant. Gentlemen , he said, I regret that none of you take sufficient interest in your work to ever give a thought to decent preparation. Unless I see a marked im- provement I will be forced to condition the entire class. You may go. Mac walked up to him with blood in his eye. Mistah , he said, I am from the South and I consider yuh remarks as a personal affront. They are extremely distasteful to me. I room down in Little I-Iall, heah is my card, and I will arrange to have two of my friends receive yuh seconds any time. Mac was on his dignity but there was a little incident in the- life of Bob Entwistle that threw Bob off his dignity altogether. 15