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Page 16 text:
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The Nassau H erald reflections upon his host's butler, he made no explanations. It was too bad he didn't, however, for the hostess thinks to this day that Walter had been sleeping off a little-er-hang- over, which is a pity, for as we all know, Doggie never in- dulges in anything stronger than pineapple sundaes. Pop Whaley arrived in town on September 12th. Some one seeing him on the campus said, Hello, Pop! what are you back for-conditions ? Pop took him all in commiseratingly from head to foot, then he said, Conditions? Hell! Pm here for football! The saying used to be If you see it in the Sun it's so. Since Art Samuels joined the Editorial Staff, however, the dictum has changed. It reads at present, lf you see it in the Sun it probably isn't so. Here is an excerpt from his contribution to that paper after the fire on Witherspoon Street. The contlagration which now threatened Patton Hall, the residence of the well-known com- poser, Mr. Arthur H. Samuels, aroused the collegiate spirit of the students. A bucket chain was started from Patton Hall to Loch Carnegie. Buckets were dipped in the water, filled and passed along the line with telling effect and-as a result of the heroic efforts of the students-this morning Patton Hall stands intact, but there is not a drop of water left in the lake. One night last year, while touring with the Triangle Club, Doc Smith was lost-he won't say how-in a Western town. He walked and walked and walked, but couldn't seem to get anywhere. At 3 a. m. he wandered into the back yard of a plumber shop. There were several tubs lying about. Doc climbed into one, pulled another over him and fell asleep. When the curious plumber cautiously lifted the top tub at 9 and let in the sunlight Doc waved a hand limply in the air and said simply, Go away, go away, I am a perfectly contented oyster and you are just horse-radish trying to annoy me V' Bill Zinsser was invited to dine at a very fashionable resi- dence he had never before visited. He had met Daughter, however, and wanted to make a strong impression on Father. When Bill's machine drew up before the house, a man in I4
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Page 15 text:
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Washmgtonfs Birthday Ovation Hjacku had a bid to a high-noon wedding. When he sud- denly thought of it at 8 a. m. on the morning of the marital festivities, he remembered that he didn't have a frock coat. He rushed up to the first student he met and cried: Have to go-Wedding-Dear-Girl-Friend Mine. Got-a-frock-coat- you-can-lend-me ? Yes, jack, there's one up in the closet of my room. jack rushed up, but instead of getting a frock coat he got an overcoat with silk lapels-and in this he went to the wedding. Didn't have a good time? Why, he never knew the difference until the bride's mother said, Aren't you rather warm in that overcoat, Mr. Farr ?,' Waring Dawbarn is one of the fastest men we have-that is in the way of dashes. He is a past master in the art of fuss- ing, but he makes a faux pas every now and then with the best of us. The other night, while making a call, the young lady said, HO, Mr. Dawbarn, won't you smoke ? Waring felt his pockets dubiously, and then, quite unconsciously dropping into the vernacular, said, Got the makins ? Walter G. Dunlop, more endearingly known as Doggie, hails from Washington, D. C. He runs down there once or twice a week just to keep his linger on the pulse of nations. He can tell you off hand just what the Queen of Sweden thinks of Al- exander of Bulgaria, and why the Duke of Marlborough wasn't invited to Edward VH's last tea. Entre nous, Walter thinks he would make an awfully good king himself. After the Tri- angle Club performance in Orange last year, Walter was in- vited to spend the night in New York. His host, on bidding him good night said, just leave your shoes outside the door. james will see that they are polished. The next morning Walter arose and looked outside the door-no shoes. He waited and waited and then-he waited. No shoes. Downstairs the host was waiting breakfast, upstairs Walter sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the shoes. At length james remembering the shoes, brought them up. What Wal- ter said to James has been expurgated. When Doggie,' at last appeared in the dining-room at II.3O, not wishing to cast I3
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Page 17 text:
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Washingtonis Birthday Ovation evening clothes hurried down the steps and opened the door of the car. Bill jumped out, grasped the man by the hand in a vice-like grip. I-Iow do you do, Mr. Brickmaker. I'm mighty glad to know you. Your daughter and I are quite chummy- At this point the man in evening clothes interposed, Pardon me, sir, but I am the butler. Hugh Chaplin is one of the most-anxious-to-please-men in collegef In freshman year some sophomores passing I-Iugh's rooms shouted Lights out. I-Iugh seized his brand new incandescent and placed it out on the Ere escape! Wuz , Howard stroked on the victorious Senior eight this fall. This time last year he didn't know quite as much about rowing as he does now. One day while the crew was at work the coach on the bank picked up his megaphone and shouted, Number 4, are you rowing backward or forward ? One seldom thinks of Judge,' Cooper, Mrs Cupper of the Triangle Club, as an athlete, but he is. A student said to Judge one day. Judge, how did you come to make the Gym team? You're not very strong, are you ? Judge said, My muscles may be small, but they are supple-very supplef' Two birds of the same intellectual feather as Judge are Johnnie Buchanan and Mort Fry. I overheard a trian- gular debate between the three not long ago. The question was, Resolved that the Peripatetic Tendency of the Primate was not characteristic of the Stone Age. ' When Judge in his argument at last erred in saying that the Primate of the Stone age was shortwaisted, Johnnie and Mort immediately showed the fallacy of -the undistributed middle. Judge was forced to admit he was wrong. This is the only historical record of JudgeH ever admitting that he was wrong. You all heard what Eddie Dillon said when he introduced me? Well, here's where I have the comeback. Fellows, I've got a peach on Ed ! Oh, it's a wonder. Now listen-you see it was this way . . . oh, I forgot . . . I guess we'1l 15
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