Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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Wa:bz'ngfon': Birtlffday Oration on the Rue de Broad, and asking permission to accompany her home, obtained it. Hoag thought that she was the sweetest ever, and visions of future bidsto teas, dances, and all kinds of jolly parties seethed through his enchanted mind. Imagine his dismay and consternation, however, when, upon reaching her home, a frowsy head appeared at the window and a shrill voice said: 'C May, are you drunk again? Let that young fool go home. and come inf, ' No later than last Saturday night, Ame's room-mate, Brownie Gibson, came up to me and throwing his arms lovingly about, said, in a tender K mixed-ale voice fHinman Bird will tell you what that isj, Tell any, any story you wish, about me, but leave, out MacGiifert. His people are going to be down here, so please don't ruin his reputation. Just think of a fellow who has kept his reputation until Senior year and then tries to do in one year what most fellows take four years to do. Mac has never posed as a bouncer. But once a telegram summoned him home, and when Mac arrived, he was met by a tearful and pleading family, who entreated him tolplease throw the cook out. Frank Kennedy, the laziest man in the class, is very partial to cooks. Let me tell you about it. N Brownie Gibson, after his famous one night in a bar-room, was seized with a severe at- tack of remorse and hastened to a doctor. Ken accompanied him in a true fraternal spirit. When they arrived at the doc- tor's, Frank said that he wouldn't go in. Gibson asked the reason and alien replied, that he had met the 'K maid W at a dance and it might prove embarrassing if she should see him. So Gib rang the bell. After waiting a few moments, lo and be- hold, an ebony-hued daughter of the sunny South opened the door. 4' Gibby looked around at Ken,', but he had fled the scene. 1 Did anyone ever hear of Charley Presbrey as an expert chaf- feur? While in Poughkeepsie, last spring, Charley showed his skill to some Vassar friends at 11 p. m., and in the excitement of reaching the college before midnight demolished a garden and killed two pet dogs. A warrant was issued by the town authori- ties, but Charley soothed their wrath by coughing up 375. But I have not mentioned Jack Vauclain yet, have I? He is really too important a person to leave out. Jack lives in 10

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right propeller in such a pleasing manner at New Haven, he re- ceived several testimonials, among which was the following, Mein liebe Friend Tooker: To show my appreciation for your gallant feat at New Haven, I send you these two cases with my heartiest congratulations. Anheuserschlitzf' Now when Pete first opened the case, he thought that it contained hair tonic, and turning to Log MacCoy, remarked: It's a long time between drinksf' Bub Stockton from the other end of '79 snided the evi- dence in the case and explained matters to Pete? He there- upon raftled the cases and donated the proceeds to the Town Club. Pete should be censured I think for encouraging in- ebriation among the undergraduates. Let us turn from these bold, bad deeds, and consider for a moment the trials and tribulations of our little Phillie Schaff, Allegheny's pride and Vassargs delight. In Freshman year, when Phil was very, very small, he undertook to go to New York without a chaperone. Sinclair Hamilton kindly bought his ticket for him and placed him safely on the train, in charge of the conductor. Pete desired to do some shopping and entering a large department store inquired for the unmention- able counterf' Reaching it, he told the clerk his size and the latter said, I beg your pardon, but the ladies' and children's department is on the next floorf' Cap Whitney once ran afoul of Schai in a 'Fussingi' game. You must know that Cap 'J is the king of hearts in a deck of fussers and naturally when Pete had two girls down to the Junior Prom., he asked Cap to take care of one. 4' Gap, with a face that shone like one of Felix Kline's waist- coats, acquiesced, and the game was on. Three weeks after Cap opened his morning mail and found a bill of 817.50 for expenses in fussing one girl. Stung! He wasn't stung as badly however, as a certain student while in the eternal city, other- wise Trenton. Strongheartv Hoagland, he of the beautiful build and such a handsome fellow, too. For the benefit of those who have not seen him, I desire to say that he will be on exhibi- tion at the Gym? this afternoon. Ame is an ambitious student, even if at the present moment he is only a step-member of our class. In Trenton, Ame once met a cute young thing K ' 9

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Philadelphia, you know, and he wished to go to New York in order that he might compare the two cities. Imagine it! So, the old scout, sometimes known as George Cochran, said that he ,would arrange it and undertook to chaperon Cap Whitney, Ed. Ill, and J ack. Arriving in the big burg, their footsteps just naturally turned towards the tenderloin, and they wandered guilelessly into the Undergraduates Club? It was ladies' night and many a fair one graced the occasion with her presence. Our brave quartet, stunned at first by the brilliant beauty around them, soon got on the job D and entered into the merry whirl with enthusiasm. The chaperon anxiously watching his party heard a scream in an opposite corner, followed by a great com- motion. I-Iastening to the scene of conflict he beheld Jack Vauclain, one time student and earnest worker, backed into a corner, with his hands before his face, shouting to a red-checked damsel, Don't you dare osculate me, don't you dare! ' Ducky Swan, Jack Nash, the ever-thirsty, and Lat Good- rich also took a trip to New York. After sampling various con- coctions in several assorted gargling parlors, the merry trio pro- ceeded hotelward. Jack and Lat melodiously warned Duck to Take his feet out the mud and stick 'em in the sand U and succeeded in conveying him to his room. Then disrobing him, they attired him in a most becoming suit of mucilage and feathers. After they had turned on all the lights and closed every window, they left 'f Duck '5 to his dreams. When he awoke in the cold, gray dawn, he gazed dazedly about him and murmured piteously: 5' In hell and a bird. Something simi- lar to the time that Ed. Palmer came across the campus and seeing a poster announcing that the Rev. Dr. Smith would speak on Hell, What is it, and why is it? sang as he wended his uncertain way towards Witherspoon, Tell mother, I'll be theref' I promised Lou Froelick that I wouldnit tell many booze stories, but just one more. Dick Keith, the graceful one, partook of one of All Potter's famous punches. Emerging into the cold winter night, Dick sank gently into a snow drift and before Morpheus claimed him, murmured, 4' Who made this nice soft bed for me to lie in? Al Potter, who besides being a famous punch mixer, is the father of Princeton soccer, is a well-known collector of China ' 11