Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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Washingtorfs Birthday Oration expensive clothes, but when it came to the motar-board, he drew the line. 'fl won't wear one of those things, he said. 4'Why, where is a fello-W to put his hatband ? I suppose that he was too dumb to figure out some Way of doing it-like f',Rastus7' Wells, rabbit. By the Way, did you ever hear how Rabbit Wells got his name? Well, I shall tell you. It seems that Tommy Plunkett was coming along University Place one afternoon in Freshman year 'and was astounded to see ,Rastus Wells in Sutherland' s back yard, hold- ing a white rabbit by the ears and shaking it till its eyes bugged out and its little cotton tail looked like the top of ShinerD Bush's head after football practice. , Nine times seven! How much IP shouted 'Rastus Wells. He waited a moment, and then shook the bunny till its teeth rattled. 'CSiX times eight! How much IPD There seemed to be nothing doing, so 'Rastus threw Mr. Rabbit on the ground, and turned a disgusted countenance towards To-mmy, who was standing, fascinated by the performance. What the dence are you doing,fRastus P asked Tom. Doing? Why, 'Si' Merwin said that rabbi-ts multiply to beat the band. This one must be a damn fool P' And now, before I close, I want to read you something from the pen of our most talented classmate and oflicial poet-the Tenny- son of the future, at the mention of whose name the shade of Robert Browning will turn green with envy and Swinburneis whited beard bow to the dust. His brow will one day be bound with laurel, and he and Erota will ride Pegasus far beyond the clouds of soaring fancy to a seat on high Olympus. I wish I had time to read you his Ode to Sapphoj' too-there is ia fire of passion in the lines which carries it beyond my humble appre- ciation. We could not publish these lines in the Lit.-it would be unwise to raise the standard of the Litfs verse to a point which could never againlbe attained 3 if Bernie Wheeler would loosen up and subscribe, we might run it as a supplement-it was rude of you, Chickv Hewitt, to suggest a comic supple- ment. ' fThe lines are omitted on account of lack of space. Nig. 22

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Mr. Schultz and a Mr. Eddy in a room together, and Mr. Jess said that when they went away these men shouted through the door: 'Therel darn you! Talk each other to -death !' I do not know whether Floyd Hurlbut ever got a chance to go that far or not. I do remember, though, coming upon his roommate, Clarence G-arbrick, one day, leaning over the radiator in the lobby of the library almost dotty from the heat. Why, what in the World are you doing, Clarence P I asked. He roused himself and turned a pair of blood-shot, Horton- brand eyes on me. Floyd has been away for a week now and I got kind of lonely, so I came over here to breathe in the hot air, it makes me feel almost as if I were listening to him againf' Such a materialization of the spirit of Bill Boys would have to be made elsewhere than in a Turkish bath, Bill doesn't use them. One day, however, he was backed up in a corner by an acute attack of Piel and was engaged in drinking his way out., Jack Ireland and Roderick Barnes happened in at about th-at time, looked him over, and sat down. ffBill immediately started to entertain by retailing a retrousse story that had done service at the time of the entrance of the Israelites into the promised land, New Y-ork. It .was one of the brand that The Tiger does not print, and before he had gone very far, Roderick shut him up sharp. When he and Jack left, the latter gave expression to his astonishment at the unaccountable conduct of Roderick. O, that's all rightf' apologized the latter. I've heard the story before and can tell it better myself, anyhow. Sit down -and Iill give it to youf' A Did anybody ever see Jim Miller without his hatband? I believe he wears it to bed with him, if so, he ought to have insomnia something sublime. An any rate, this fetish worship of his got him into an altercation with the Cap and Gown Com- mittee. They' got him one day and led him to the slaughter. When he had been measured for his gown, Dibby Baird asked him his hat size. Now, our handsome member of the chosen race had demurred at the gown, because it would hide his stylish and 21

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Couch insists upon making his presentation ora-tion so long that it is impossible to print our poet's matchless effusion. Perhaps it is just as welll Now, there are endless things I Want to say: to tell you Why I have refrain-ed from mentioning a Whole set of men Whom We all know, of Whom not one would not be so proud to have his name even mentioned at all, that the sides of this old Gym. would ha.ve to be torn down to make room for the passage of their heads-and hatbands, to tell about the time John Armstrong Went to President Wilson, just after the holidays, and said, Dr. Wilson, I think the college exercises can go on-I am back gt' to- tell you about the time Jack O7Neill searched through a cer- tain too familiar district of New York for an honest man for Woman, perhapsj, with a lantern in his hand and a sign tied about his waist, which read, Lunchf' But there are those who follow me: he laughs best Who laughs last. Couch, Burkam and Sellers have promised to ruin me for life When the-ir turn comes, and ffBilly Mixsell says he will horse me in the class ode, all of Which, I believe, he intends to Write himself, arrang- ing that his MS. may be the best one submitted, by having no competition. As you Will. Fire away, gentlemeng do your durndest. After all, my topic is George Washington. It was a bleak night in the latter p-art of February, one hun- dred and seventy-one years ago. An oldish gentleman was ner- vously pacing the floor of a huge room. Now and then he would stop to light a long pipe or to take a deep pull from a black bottle which stood on the table near the fireplace. Suddenly the door opened and an ancient negress stood trembling and hesitant upon the sill. For gadis sake, vvomanlv cried the beruifled and bewigged watcher, What is it ?,' 'fMistah Washin'ton, hit 'se-hit 's-it A Not twins! Not TWINS ln he shrieked. No, sah 5 hit 's a boy. I It was. That is hovv I came to have the honor of speaking to you to-day. 23