Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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Washington's Birthday Ovation stood around the window while Paul got his coat out of soak. But the boy gave him the wrong one by mistake. f'This isn't mine VJ shouted Paul, indignantly, I wear LUCAS clothes in I donit know whether Cowan Ames is as high life as that or not, but he is making a great stab to be voted the best dressed man in the class. One day he stopped at the comer of Broadway and Twenty-third street-to blow himself, I suppose 3 anyway he was leaning up against the wind-corner rubbering at the girls. A policeman watched him for a While, and then in- terfered. f'Look here, young feller, we ain't runnin' no comic opera chorus here, explained the gentlemanly oflicer of the law. You just move on l I will not I vouchsafed Jimmy, pugnaciously. f'My over- coat is a little wrinkled and I am leaning against the Hat-iron building to get it pressed. Regular Beau Brummel, is Jimmy-handsome, too! That reminds me of Frank Wright. if it if 3' if Skinner , puts up a better front than f'Kid Palmer, anyhow. The Kid'7 is about the worst looking proposition ever-the white man's burden, half devil and half child. One day last summer he was riding in a street car-third seat from the back. He pulled a little black pipe out of his pocket, nlled it with Green Turtle smoking and chewing tobacco and lit up. A lady, seated behind him, stood it for about one minute, then she leaned over and asked him to cut it out. The Kid obliged, but, with nothing to occupy his mind, began to think how his shoes hurt him. He had bought them second foot fget that? I said second fo0t. j at Spoit lVIoore's Cwhere Fred. Fairbanks had probably sold them-Fred. will sell his immoral soul to Sport Moore some dayj, and the shoes did not fit very well. Finally the Kid could stand it no longer, so he slipped the shoes oif and wrig- gled his toes joyously. Suddenly, the lady behind touched him on the shoulder. , Would you mind lighting your pipe again ? she said. I am afraid that story displeases Harry,' Decker. When Bill Singer got me elected to this thankless job, on condition 16

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cided that you must attend chapel every morning from now till Commencement or leave the University. Your conduct is rapidly demoralizing even Mr. D. Miner Rogers ! Well, it Was up to Bill. He tried alarm clocks and electric bells, but the third morning he was saved only through the complaisance of St. Peter, and made up his mind that something radical had to be done. The next night found the solution of the problem. Tuppy Ashmead dropped into Bill's room about eleven. Bill was sitting, owl-eyed, beside a table, a copy of Three Buckets of Blood or Who Put Glass in Mamma's Soup W in one hand and a quart bottle of Hunter, half emptied, at his elbow. 'Tor the Lordis sake, Bill, what are you doing?', asked !lTuppy-27 'US all rightjj waved Bill, carelessly. Till get to their blanked chapel if I have to stay up all night to do it in And yet they say that compulsory chapel is not harmful! Bill Coulter is not ordinarily a profane man, but as for Tom Campbell-Well, Dicky Wilson told a Trenton girl that Tom Campbell Was the most profane man in college. It may have been true, but it Wasn't very nice of Ditty, Was it? Besides Dicky', might not have said it if he had known Uri Grannis better. Wrink,' poses as a very religious person, but it's all humbug, believe me. Why one night last year he Went down to the basin, or some such ungodly place, to lead a prayer meeting. He got along all right-it was an Episcopal service and all he had to do Was to read it out of a book, but, during the meeting, Paul Welling dropped into the place, attired in three days' growth of beard a.nd a sweater. When Wrink had run olf the benediction he rushed down from the pulpit and grasped Paulis hand. Hullo, Paul I he said, Iam damn glad to see you, but if you' ever come down again I wish you Wouldn't Wear such a hell of a costume? Thatps a true story, I know, f'Wrink told it to- me himself. But I don't believe it, for Paul usually prides himself as much on his clothes as Frank Smith. He Went to a theatre- party Qabocv party, Phil Ilantz Would sayj and left his overcoat at the check room. When he came out, the fellows 15

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that I wouldnit mention him, Harry Decker rushed up to congratulate me. I hope you will keep the speech free from smut and booze, he said, trusting, I suppose, that if I made a clean speech, I would have to leave him out. Honi soit qui mal y pense- Ha.rry, if Ben Messler won't translate it for you, I will 5 that means a guilty conscience needeth no accuser? Le Ross' conscience is working overtime then. DibbyJ' Baird introduced him to -some girl here in town the other day Qitis wonderful how Dib'by gets acquainted with these Princeton girls lj, but Jim Eddy heard of it and rushed around to the girl at once. I am surprised at Bairdj, he said. f'Why Ross is not a tit person to introduce to a lady V' V Perhaps Jim Eddy knew about the stew Rummy got him- self into two years ago-though Jim is never hampered by devotion to fact. Ross sat around the Hof Brau Hauss all one morning, drinking flower pots of Pilsner, then made up his mind to go call on a girl. When he broke away from the lady he had asked her to elope with him and promised to call with a rope ladder and a sea-going hack QN OT Otto-Otto isn't sea-goingj that very evening. He had to get f'Snick Sullenberger to ring her up on the telephone and explain that RummyD was suffer- ing from aphasia, delirium tremens and nervous prostration, and couldn't come after all. AjaX,' Speer could have done that all right-he's a winner with the calico. Used to call on a girl in Allegheny every even- ing and stay so long that he would be late for breakfast in the morning. His people would not stand for it, so KA. Smeeru took an ala.rm clock in his overcoat pocket to apprise him of the hour for departure. He forgot about it during the torrid intercourse he held with his lady-love and the clock went oft at eleven, Of course, s-aid the girl, if Iam so stupid that you have to bring an alarm clock with you to keep awake, you need not call again. h A No more sassiety for Ajax -nor for Temp.', either, I fear. You have heard of Tempus introduction into Chicagojs nine hundred? No? Well, Si Adams was giving a high-faluting 17