Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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26 THE Nassau HERALD. clothes off the dop shelf, the cockroaches are eating all the button holes ond. The mere mention of clothes brings before my niind that little Dutchman called Gregory, who dared a New York policeman to arrest him, for he claimed-C' he was dot job I-Iedgels Uncle, while Babe Hill sat on the curbstone crying: 4' Please Mr. Officer let rne gog I'm a Kentucky gentleman. ' ' Dutch was not discouraged and did 'not have to take Hood's Sarsaparilla for his nerves that night, and his per- sistence got them both off, only to result in Babe Hill riding up and down the Murray Hill elevator, singing '4 Nobody Knows I-Iow Bad I Am. I started to tell about Dutch Gregoryls new suit of clothes that he purchased in Trenton. Bullw Graham, 'C Irish Kent and Dutch went to Trenton to attend a skating party. About the time the show began, Dutch struck a thin piece of ice and had to be taken to the Trenton House to dry. Dutch insisted on having a full suite of rooms, and ordered one containing a study, bath, sitting room and bed chamber. Irish and Bull tucked him in bed, and fastening the bell-button down with a match, left Dutch to the kind mercies of the landlord. A few seconds later a bell-boy rushed breathlessly in and inquired what the gentleman would have. Dutch did not remember having wanted anything, but not wishing to let a good opportunity pass by unheeded, he gave the boy a small order. That bell got some deadly exedution in on Dutch and the bell-boys before the cause was discovered, for when Dutch took account of stock he found he did not have the necessary with which to pay the buffet bill. He hooked Runt I-Iausslingls watch, which he had borrowed, but that did not bring enough to pay the bill and get his clothes pressed. It was out of the question to go home in wet togs, and it was a little too chilly to walk

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WASHINGTON7S BIRTHDAY ORATroN. 25 Chappie Reynolds would not have been taken in that easy, for he knows the ways of the girls, and besides being a ladies' man, is somewhat of a philosopher. Wlio ever heard words so full of thought as these? The only girl you will ever miss, Is the girl you have failed to kiss. Now go home and thi11k it over, - ' 1 When you grow dead sober. Thatls fine sentiment, Chappie, but it smells of beer. Now, Father Spencer lacks both a Chappie Reynolds philosophic brain and a Sherlock Holmes mind, for in Freshmen year he did not even know a beer saloon when he saw it,-and he from St. Louis, too. Father cautiously entered Bob Andersonls saloon one night and inquired if they sold beer. The barkeeper thought he was being jollied at first, but when Father asked how much it was, what kind he had, which was the cheapest, and whether he could buy a few bottles, the barkeeper saw he was young and tender. He sold him a few bottles of pop, telling him it was Tannhauser. After imbibing a little, Father made a welsh rarebit for a few of his friends. fl should say, were his friendsj Father also has the habit of getting despondent, and in examinations in Sophomore year was heard to mutter 1 'K I'm a blockhead. I canlt pass that paper. Ilm a dis- grace to my family 5 spending my father's money only to get dropped. I'm going homefl Strange to say, Father is with us yet. . just about this time in Sophomore year, Curly Grover learned to play poker and lost 55.00 on two pair of queens, which he held against three sevens. Ikenstein Reeves, of hock-shop fame, held the other hand. I promised Reeves I would not call him Ikey, but when I saw Curly could stay awake long enough to tell me this sad tale, I resolved to warn the innocent public. Porgy, Porgy, dake dose

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WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 27 home in a barrel, so Dutch struck some of I. Reeves' friends, and invested the small sum that remained. Here is the bill : I pair socks . . . .o5 1 pair Orr's never-rip pants .50 1 shirt Qsecond-handj .... .15 I second-hand tile ..... IO I pair tennis shoes he fished from an ash-barrel oo .So After much discussion and argument, Dutch succeeded in persuading the railroad authorities to let him ride up to Princeton in the baggage car. On his arrival in Princeton, Dutch sneaked quietly in the house, hoping to get to his room unseen, but the land- lord mistook him for a bum and fired him from the house. After several unsuccessful attempts, Dutch grew discour- aged and spent the remainder of the night sleeping peace- fully by the cannon. Did I hear some one say Wite Wooster? Broke, won't you please arise and give us that speech you made at the celebration, and tell the ladies and gentle- men how the football championship was lost in '95, just because you were not on the team? By Gosh I It was too bad, Broke, but cheer up, there are better times coming, for Baldy Wilson has begun to publish photos of his mighty right arm in the N. If W'01'ZcZ, in hopes of intimi- dating the Yale batters. It's a good bluff, Baldy, and herels ,Opin it goes. Ah l You Adonis of the college baseball ranks, as your friends on the P'ittsImo'g Dispczfch call you. Do you remember the keg of ale you ordered to be sent to Mr. W. W. Wilson, Princeton? Well, Axson told me that it was sent to Prof. Woodrow Wilsonls by mistake, and he wished to return it to the owner. You had better hurry before Runt Poe and Three-stein Henry Barclay gets off of probation, even if they only drink