Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 2 3 was wrenched from its hinges. A horrible sight met their gaze. The room was strewn with manuscripts. Great volumes torn in fragments lay upon the floor. The pictures had started from their frames. All was confusion, chaos, and disorder. Ink was spattered on the wall paper and sprinkled over the open magazines on the table. Behind the scene of wreck and ruin stood the author of it, with dishevelled hair, a wild light of triumph in his eyes, his arm outstretched threateningly and murmuring the mysterious words 5' Cuba Libre ll' Cuba Libre V' Many were the questions asked and yet unanswered. After several pulls from Jake Beams' kindly black bottle, the hero Bob-Bob Sterling-told his story. Maybe you fellows think I'm as modest as Shorty Bowne, but Pm not. just read that telegram and then deny it doesn't pay to be a great debaterfl Jake took it -Jake has a habit of 'taking everything he sees, anyhow-and read: tt The Philadelphia Press would like your sentiments on the Cuban Questionfl The mystery was solved. But as he laid it down he saw a mistake had been made 5 it was addressed to Prof. Woodrow Wilson and not to Bob Sterling. Pointing to the address they departed. As the door closed, a dull, sickening thud was heard, and all was still. If Morley Hitzrot will wipe that everlasting smile from his face, and joe Ryle remove those towels from his pocket, I'll read one of David Garrick Cooley's Comedies. SCENE. Adirondacks, near a small lake. DRAMATIS PERsoNE. 1. HerovMagie, a lady's man. 2. Girl-A man's lady. 3. A Distant Relative of the Girl g weight 250 net. 4. Cupid with his bow and quiver. SCENE I. Piazza. Tha Girl-Coy, gurgling, girlish, talks of brave deeds and men of heroic mould.

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22 THE NAssAU HERALD. Shortly after Georgels arrival in Princeton he fell in love. History repeats itself, for.so did Freddie McNish. Freddie's friend, jarvie Geer, was in love with two girls when he came to town but, unlike Buck Thompson, could not choose betwixt the two. A few days- after college opened, jarvie received a dainty box of Huyler's from one of these fair creatures. Here he displayed his craftiness. After extracting a picture and note from the box he ex- pressed it to the other girl, but Jarvie did not known there was a lady's card in the bottom of the box. Moral : 4' Don't try to kill two birds with one stone. You are a sly fox, Jarvie, even if your feet don't trackjl as a VV ash- ington girl remarked at the Glee Club dance in Washiiigton. Dance! Dance! Oh, yes. Fred. Smith made me pro- mise to ask Ollie Campbell where he learned the linale to the dance he gave in Willie Wilsonls room the night he was impersonating King Menelik. And this all happened in one night, too. 'Most every-' thing that is interesting happens at night. Take this for instance: ' The stars were shining bright, and the campus was put- ting on its night cap for a good long sleep before the morrow. Two ngures sauntered leisurely down the walk past East, one was sliinness personified in the length pro- portions of Skin Jessup. The other was none other than Harry Beam, of Fresh Air Fund farne. They were discuss- ing mighty questions on the mechanical theory of the top, when suddenly they were startled by a wild, weird and hellish sound, which increased in volume as the seconds sped. Some rapid deductions cz Za Sherlock Holmes fol- lowed, and the duo pranced madly into the north entry of East College. They beat wildly upon a door, and breath- less and expectant they waited. No response, only wild, discordant shrieks made a wreck of the stilly night. Witli one mighty heave of jessup's brawny shoulders the door

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24 THE NASSAU HERALD. Magie-Donlt seem to fill the bill, but longs for a chance to display his manly courage. D I Cupid-Pierces each heart with a tiny arrow Qin Magiels place an exceptionally small one to escape pinning his heart to the back-bonej. SCENE II. Pier. The Diszfzmi Relative-Splashing and sputtering in' the lake and crying for help. Girl-VVeeping and wailing. Hero-Calmly removes hat and coat, arranges his cravat, runs to the pier and dives. I'd like to leave Magie hanging between earth and sky, but the truth must be told. Magie entered the water like a darning needle, but that was not all. The water was only eighteeninches deep, and the oozy mud was just laying for such marks, and received him with open arms. A derrick and a four-horse team extracted Magie from his perilous position, and with a low bow to the Distant Relative who, meanwhile, had calmly walked ashore, he went damply up to the hotel murmuring None but the brave deserve the fairf' Eddie Moore says he could have won her easier than that. Eddie's been stuck on himself ever since he won the Irish beauty at the Atlanta Exposition. He says that nothing catches the girls like a good joke, and every even- ing before he calls on his Witherspooii street fairy, he culls his choicest bits of humor from the libraiy of patent medicine almanacs, which his friends have so kindly aided him in collecting. Whenever I -hear Witherspoon street spoken of I always think of the time Jimpty Jessup attempted to scrape up an acquaintance with the belle of that region. She said papa did not permit her to go with students and asked him to wait for her at the gate. Jimpty waited. Oh, what a wait ! After freezing three toes and one ear, Wait- ing her return from the house, jimpty sneaked softly up the street, listening to her sweet soprano mingling with the bass notes of her stiddy in that painful little ditty, en- titled Forsaken.