Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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22 THE NAssAU HERALD. Shortly after Georgels arrival in Princeton he fell in love. History repeats itself, for.so did Freddie McNish. Freddie's friend, jarvie Geer, was in love with two girls when he came to town but, unlike Buck Thompson, could not choose betwixt the two. A few days- after college opened, jarvie received a dainty box of Huyler's from one of these fair creatures. Here he displayed his craftiness. After extracting a picture and note from the box he ex- pressed it to the other girl, but Jarvie did not known there was a lady's card in the bottom of the box. Moral : 4' Don't try to kill two birds with one stone. You are a sly fox, Jarvie, even if your feet don't trackjl as a VV ash- ington girl remarked at the Glee Club dance in Washiiigton. Dance! Dance! Oh, yes. Fred. Smith made me pro- mise to ask Ollie Campbell where he learned the linale to the dance he gave in Willie Wilsonls room the night he was impersonating King Menelik. And this all happened in one night, too. 'Most every-' thing that is interesting happens at night. Take this for instance: ' The stars were shining bright, and the campus was put- ting on its night cap for a good long sleep before the morrow. Two ngures sauntered leisurely down the walk past East, one was sliinness personified in the length pro- portions of Skin Jessup. The other was none other than Harry Beam, of Fresh Air Fund farne. They were discuss- ing mighty questions on the mechanical theory of the top, when suddenly they were startled by a wild, weird and hellish sound, which increased in volume as the seconds sped. Some rapid deductions cz Za Sherlock Holmes fol- lowed, and the duo pranced madly into the north entry of East College. They beat wildly upon a door, and breath- less and expectant they waited. No response, only wild, discordant shrieks made a wreck of the stilly night. Witli one mighty heave of jessup's brawny shoulders the door

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WASHINGTON7S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 21 lighting was his hair. The proprietor, seeing Hick was U new, lifted an alcohol stick from the side of the lamp, dipped it in the flame, and gave I-Iick a light. I-Iick's eyes bulged dnt with surprise as he murmured in his Charleston accent: HThere ain't no telling what people will git up nextfl Smyth may have been a farmer, but so is Pip Wheeler. And, in the immortal words of Red Gulick, the mos' cosim'pol'tan man in the clash. They are not the only Galaruca Xanthomelaeisus on the Princeton elm trees. A green goods man would find a field rivalling the Hoop- pole County Fair at Hemlock Hollow if he should find Perkins, Babcock, Mills, and that assemblage of paper sports. ' Roys is somewhat of an American Agriculturist, too. In Freshman year he started for New York to take some girls to the football game, but left his tickets at home. Roys discovered the fact at New Brunswick and telegraphed to a friend in Princeton to send them up to New York in time for the game, but failed to mention an address. Roys, did you think New York was as small a place as Lyons? A Wasliington visited Princeton once upon a time but only left a cannon for Dicky Dwight to make speeches to. CLuckily, Itchy Wood, he with the Shylock palm, had not yet appeared on these V classic walks, or George would have left even his wig behindj. Alas, the days of Hungry Golden are numbered, for there's another Richmond in the field, and now ,tis VVoody that greets the Freshmen with a bland smile and charges them fifty cents for his company as far as the Nassau Hotel. Even then there is no escape, for Itchy sells everything from a milk bottle to luxurious apartments in Edwards Hall. Fellows, I want to warn you 3 Itchy has discovered a new source of revenue, and intends charging admission to Dr. Patton's lectures on U Evidences of Christianityf'

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WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 2 3 was wrenched from its hinges. A horrible sight met their gaze. The room was strewn with manuscripts. Great volumes torn in fragments lay upon the floor. The pictures had started from their frames. All was confusion, chaos, and disorder. Ink was spattered on the wall paper and sprinkled over the open magazines on the table. Behind the scene of wreck and ruin stood the author of it, with dishevelled hair, a wild light of triumph in his eyes, his arm outstretched threateningly and murmuring the mysterious words 5' Cuba Libre ll' Cuba Libre V' Many were the questions asked and yet unanswered. After several pulls from Jake Beams' kindly black bottle, the hero Bob-Bob Sterling-told his story. Maybe you fellows think I'm as modest as Shorty Bowne, but Pm not. just read that telegram and then deny it doesn't pay to be a great debaterfl Jake took it -Jake has a habit of 'taking everything he sees, anyhow-and read: tt The Philadelphia Press would like your sentiments on the Cuban Questionfl The mystery was solved. But as he laid it down he saw a mistake had been made 5 it was addressed to Prof. Woodrow Wilson and not to Bob Sterling. Pointing to the address they departed. As the door closed, a dull, sickening thud was heard, and all was still. If Morley Hitzrot will wipe that everlasting smile from his face, and joe Ryle remove those towels from his pocket, I'll read one of David Garrick Cooley's Comedies. SCENE. Adirondacks, near a small lake. DRAMATIS PERsoNE. 1. HerovMagie, a lady's man. 2. Girl-A man's lady. 3. A Distant Relative of the Girl g weight 250 net. 4. Cupid with his bow and quiver. SCENE I. Piazza. Tha Girl-Coy, gurgling, girlish, talks of brave deeds and men of heroic mould.