Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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WASHINGTON7S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 21 lighting was his hair. The proprietor, seeing Hick was U new, lifted an alcohol stick from the side of the lamp, dipped it in the flame, and gave I-Iick a light. I-Iick's eyes bulged dnt with surprise as he murmured in his Charleston accent: HThere ain't no telling what people will git up nextfl Smyth may have been a farmer, but so is Pip Wheeler. And, in the immortal words of Red Gulick, the mos' cosim'pol'tan man in the clash. They are not the only Galaruca Xanthomelaeisus on the Princeton elm trees. A green goods man would find a field rivalling the Hoop- pole County Fair at Hemlock Hollow if he should find Perkins, Babcock, Mills, and that assemblage of paper sports. ' Roys is somewhat of an American Agriculturist, too. In Freshman year he started for New York to take some girls to the football game, but left his tickets at home. Roys discovered the fact at New Brunswick and telegraphed to a friend in Princeton to send them up to New York in time for the game, but failed to mention an address. Roys, did you think New York was as small a place as Lyons? A Wasliington visited Princeton once upon a time but only left a cannon for Dicky Dwight to make speeches to. CLuckily, Itchy Wood, he with the Shylock palm, had not yet appeared on these V classic walks, or George would have left even his wig behindj. Alas, the days of Hungry Golden are numbered, for there's another Richmond in the field, and now ,tis VVoody that greets the Freshmen with a bland smile and charges them fifty cents for his company as far as the Nassau Hotel. Even then there is no escape, for Itchy sells everything from a milk bottle to luxurious apartments in Edwards Hall. Fellows, I want to warn you 3 Itchy has discovered a new source of revenue, and intends charging admission to Dr. Patton's lectures on U Evidences of Christianityf'

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zo THE NASSAU HERALD. There's an Ananias for your money, a real polished eighteen karat, gilt-edged, up-to-date bender of the truth. It's no trouble to show goods, and here's one of Wil1ie's maiden efforts, for the night was young when it was told. 'K Fellows, a strange thing happened to me while I was duck shooting on the Great Salt Lake, in ,Utah. The morning was stormy so I took a can of oil to keep down the waves. The oil worked like a charm until the sneak- box sprung a leak. I was half a mile from shore. Deep water was under me. All seemed lost. HA sudden thought cam.e to me. I emptied the can, placed it to my lips, and sank to the bottom as the boat went down. Feeling some- what tired after my exertions, I sat down upon a rock to rest. Then, taking a long deep breath from the can, I walked to the shore. The air tasted a little oily, but I could not complain, as that air saved my life. Willie, the Lord loves a cheerful liar. Maybe Washington did not lie, but I'll bet three sus- pender buttons and one of Padgett's brass knuckles against Mother Bedford's propensity for boot licking that 'he smoked, and it was cigarettes at that. Speaking of smoking, I am reminded of Hick Smythls first trip to Trenton. After looking over the I' Cotel' House, Hick took a cyar N down town to see the elephant. He soon hankered after a smoke, and, pushing open the doo ofa segar stoo H, 'fbotel' a cigar. Here I-Iick's trouble began. That cigar refused to smoke. A mustard plaster could not have drawn harder than Hick, but the cigar was obstinate. His southern mad got up and he rushed wildly back into the store, only to meet the re- mark : 4' Bite the end off, sonny. Hick took the kind advice, and then discovered an alcohol lamp on the show- case. . l Leaning over the flame, Hick started his bellows working for all they were worth, but the only thing he succeeded in

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22 THE NAssAU HERALD. Shortly after Georgels arrival in Princeton he fell in love. History repeats itself, for.so did Freddie McNish. Freddie's friend, jarvie Geer, was in love with two girls when he came to town but, unlike Buck Thompson, could not choose betwixt the two. A few days- after college opened, jarvie received a dainty box of Huyler's from one of these fair creatures. Here he displayed his craftiness. After extracting a picture and note from the box he ex- pressed it to the other girl, but Jarvie did not known there was a lady's card in the bottom of the box. Moral : 4' Don't try to kill two birds with one stone. You are a sly fox, Jarvie, even if your feet don't trackjl as a VV ash- ington girl remarked at the Glee Club dance in Washiiigton. Dance! Dance! Oh, yes. Fred. Smith made me pro- mise to ask Ollie Campbell where he learned the linale to the dance he gave in Willie Wilsonls room the night he was impersonating King Menelik. And this all happened in one night, too. 'Most every-' thing that is interesting happens at night. Take this for instance: ' The stars were shining bright, and the campus was put- ting on its night cap for a good long sleep before the morrow. Two ngures sauntered leisurely down the walk past East, one was sliinness personified in the length pro- portions of Skin Jessup. The other was none other than Harry Beam, of Fresh Air Fund farne. They were discuss- ing mighty questions on the mechanical theory of the top, when suddenly they were startled by a wild, weird and hellish sound, which increased in volume as the seconds sped. Some rapid deductions cz Za Sherlock Holmes fol- lowed, and the duo pranced madly into the north entry of East College. They beat wildly upon a door, and breath- less and expectant they waited. No response, only wild, discordant shrieks made a wreck of the stilly night. Witli one mighty heave of jessup's brawny shoulders the door