Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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32 THE N.4SSAU HERALD. early life have not been consigned to innocuous desuetude by '95. Knox Taylor is a hunter, bad and bold. He started out not long ago for anything at all, large or small. Knox describes the incident graphically: 'CI had gone but a hundred ,paces into the wood when I beheld right before me inthe path, all crouched ready to spring at my throat, its green bloodshot eyes dilating with malevolence, the largest Wildcat I had ever seen. I stopped and like a dream there flashed upon me the grief of my parents should anything happen to me. That unpaid laundry bill at Princeton. Duty alone prompted, urged me to flee. I fled and was safe at last, having distanced the now infuriated beast. The next morning Knox went out into the yard onlyto find that the infuriated beast 7' had followed him at a distance and taken up its headquarters there. But it no longer retained its power to terrify Knox, for it proved to be the family cat. Oh, Knox! And to think that you gave that wash bill as an excuse for fear! Don't you know Harvey Koehler better than that? ,Don't you know that if your funeral .notice were to appear in the paper to-morrow Harvey would send that bill home by the afternoon mail? Yes, I-Iarvey, you know you were just cut out for a three gilt balls 7' establishment. Why, when Cow Nevin came back last fall after the summer vacation Harvey walked up with outstretched hand. Hello, 'Cow,' how are you? Glad to ,see you back. Say, old man, can you pay me that 37.43 due on your last year's wash bill ? George fished as well, but we have every reason to believe that even fish stories were distasteful to him. Chubby Lewis, on the contrary, to counteract this one-sided development in the Father of his Country,'7 does not fish, but oh, how transcend- ent he is in the other. I-Ie baffles description! But, Chubby, when a man sows fish stories he don't reap mince pie. Chubby himself has been the victim of a base deception. Frank Morse and Kid Carrol were the perpetrators. They went into Chubby's room one day while he was out. Frank chewed some soap and Kid looked at himself in the glass until Chubby's step was heard at the door. Frank then proceeded to frothat the mouth while Kid, asia necessary result of looking in the glass, went into violent convulsions, and between them they had Chubby tossing imaginary snakes into the fire for three-quarters of an

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WASHINGTON'S BIRTIIDAY ORATION 31 r a cent, either, if he can help it. Jess. intends to commit matri- mony in the very near future and is consequently chasing his ducats now to hasten that festive occasion. Jess., Flem., Bobby Inch, Lady l' Nelson, Cow 3' Nevin and Freddyn Poole used to have weekly W'elsh rarebits with an assessment of five cents per capita, but Jess. invariably handed over but four, with one exception, when he refused to pay a cent because there was no beer in it. IVhy, in Freshman year Hank Bissell borrowed a two-cent stamp of Jess. Last month Jess. asked Hank to 4' pay upj' and for lack of a stamp accepted three cents, the extra penny to pay for the trouble of going to the post office. That's right, Jess., take care of the pennies and your children will take care of the dollars. Youlre not alone in your thrift, though. There's Lea Kennedy, who now wears a muzzle when he goes into society, by order of the town committee for the prevention of cruelty to society. Lea objects to having any one ask him for the time of day, as he has figured out that a watch spring costs two dollars and you can open a watch only three thousand one hundred and fifty-seven times before the spring wears out, consequently every time he is asked to do so it costs him about one-fifteenth of a cent, in round numbers' I sec Sammy Curtis is beginning to look a little conscious. Yes, Little Billeefl you're pretty bad. Little Billee goes down to the club every day with one cigarette, one cigar and one pipeiul of tobacco, so that if anyone should ask him for any one of the above forms of the weed he has just one. Now, Irish '7 Hamilton, if he were to have a package of cigarettes-he hasn't, he never has in fact, but for the sake of the illustration suppose he were to have a package with six cigarettes in it-heid smoke one himself and with the-other five held regale- Irish Hamilton. It was the morning after one of those rarebits of Flemls that Lady Nelson turned up as white as a sheet. VVhat7s the matter, Lady? Freddy Poole asked. I've got the 'morning gags,' '7 said Lady. The what? The morning gags,'l Lady repeated, it's an unquenchable thirst for liquor when I wake up in the morning, and it's the last stage before delirium tremensf' George's early life was consumed with hunting, Hshing, after- noon teas and reading. In this we have cause to rejoice and patwours-elves on the head in that these potent factors in George's

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WASHINGTOZWS BIRTHDAY ORATION. 33 hour. John Harding Qwith Cowden between the John and the Hardingj represents the afternoon tea side of VVashingt0n's youth. The other afternoon, Exam. being over, John wished to take in an afternoon tea in New York, but lacking the necessary car fare donned his frock coat and spent the afternoon in his room with his silk hat in one hand and a cup of tea he had made in the other. We affirmed that Washington was well read, I repeat it with all the emphasis at my command, he was! but I must confess that there are others. No one denies that Sister Farris and Fuzzy Crawford are well read, in fact, despite their protestations to the contrary, they spend their whole time at it. Sister says he can't stand these unjust accusations any longer, and he and Fuzzy are going to form an anti-polle-r's league, for says he, I always take fifteen minutes off after every meal, and Fuzz-well, Fuzzy don't poll on Sunday, but he gets up at one Monday morning to make up lost time? Then there's Kid Carrol, who claims to have read Conan Doyle's Scarlet Letterf' and lastly there's that hypochondriac medicine chest, Henry Canby, who has red hair. This early training had a ten- dency to bring George into a closer communion with nature and in this he has ardent disciples in Pop Fry, Smiles Bailey and Bobby '7 Robertson. Such is their devotion that at springis approach, when the new-born leaflets thrust their tiny headlets from the shootlets and all nature smiles as broadly as Smiles habitually does, and disports herself in gay abandon, they, too, join in and laugh, and shout, and gambol on the green, yea, even the 4' star greenf' but when last year the roulette ceased to reciprocate Smiles, insinuating smirks they all with one accord took a drop. Dave Speer, on the contrary, is not so fickle in his attentions. Dave adores the stately in nature, the stately lily, the stately sunflower, but above all, when last fall he was caught eavesdropping at an Evelyn dance, the stately tree where he was kept for two mortal hours while below the faithful dog his vigils kept. Speaking of vigils, I suppose, will remind Fitzie Speer of those Vigils he kept at Colorado Springs last Christmas. It was one of those warm nights inside which lend a particularly exhilarating iniiuence to small talk. The smoker was in full swing when Fitz discovered that the con- versation was becoming entirely too giddy and intoxicating for him and he was overmastered by the inclination to sever his