Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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WASHINGTON'S BIRTIIDAY ORATION 31 r a cent, either, if he can help it. Jess. intends to commit matri- mony in the very near future and is consequently chasing his ducats now to hasten that festive occasion. Jess., Flem., Bobby Inch, Lady l' Nelson, Cow 3' Nevin and Freddyn Poole used to have weekly W'elsh rarebits with an assessment of five cents per capita, but Jess. invariably handed over but four, with one exception, when he refused to pay a cent because there was no beer in it. IVhy, in Freshman year Hank Bissell borrowed a two-cent stamp of Jess. Last month Jess. asked Hank to 4' pay upj' and for lack of a stamp accepted three cents, the extra penny to pay for the trouble of going to the post office. That's right, Jess., take care of the pennies and your children will take care of the dollars. Youlre not alone in your thrift, though. There's Lea Kennedy, who now wears a muzzle when he goes into society, by order of the town committee for the prevention of cruelty to society. Lea objects to having any one ask him for the time of day, as he has figured out that a watch spring costs two dollars and you can open a watch only three thousand one hundred and fifty-seven times before the spring wears out, consequently every time he is asked to do so it costs him about one-fifteenth of a cent, in round numbers' I sec Sammy Curtis is beginning to look a little conscious. Yes, Little Billeefl you're pretty bad. Little Billee goes down to the club every day with one cigarette, one cigar and one pipeiul of tobacco, so that if anyone should ask him for any one of the above forms of the weed he has just one. Now, Irish '7 Hamilton, if he were to have a package of cigarettes-he hasn't, he never has in fact, but for the sake of the illustration suppose he were to have a package with six cigarettes in it-heid smoke one himself and with the-other five held regale- Irish Hamilton. It was the morning after one of those rarebits of Flemls that Lady Nelson turned up as white as a sheet. VVhat7s the matter, Lady? Freddy Poole asked. I've got the 'morning gags,' '7 said Lady. The what? The morning gags,'l Lady repeated, it's an unquenchable thirst for liquor when I wake up in the morning, and it's the last stage before delirium tremensf' George's early life was consumed with hunting, Hshing, after- noon teas and reading. In this we have cause to rejoice and patwours-elves on the head in that these potent factors in George's

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30 THE NFISSAU HERALD. grandfather, in contradistinction We would mention that little anarchist and revolutionist, Ahern ! 7' Flemming, who can trace his most distinctly to his great-greatgrandfather, the Devil, of Whom he speaks with great frequency and fervor. As a result. of Flem's Mephistopheliau ancestry he is most fond of Society and consequently most neat. Flem recently marked his cuffs so as to know the individuals constituting a pair. He marked them 1, ditto, 2, ditto, etc. We regret to say that Soc. Huston is as far from neatness as Chappy Biddle from I Group. When Soc. came to college in that black sweater and corduroy trousers of his, which he Wears to this day, he brought with him a box of soap containing three cakes, which Soc. has planned to last until the day of his nuptials, one during his college course, one for the Seminary, the third to be laid up against the period of courtship, but it was only another instance of manls frailty in effecting his resolutions, for it was but just last December that Soc., though it broke his heart to do so, started in on his second cake of soap. To return. Flem. as a figurehead in society is only equalled by his room-mate Bobby Inch. Bobby attended a picnic in lVashington last summer and after luncheon, games Were the prescribed order of events. One of the -girls in the party was taken aside, blindfolded, and on being led back again, kissed by the chaperone. and told to guess who kissed her. but interrupting the interrogation she broke out: Oh, thatis Bobby Inch. Anyone could pick him out of a hundred. Flem., on the other hand, took a girl to a ball Who, he affirmed, was dead stuck on him. NoW,'7 says Flem., relating his experience, HI determined that When We reached the next lamp-post Ild kiss her, but before I knew it the carriage rolled by one when I was unprepared, so I got ready for the next one, but do you believe it, when We reached it I lost my nerve 5 and hang itl every time just as We'd come to a lamp-post I'd lose my nervefl Oh, Fleml I forgot all about that offer of yours. Flem. promised that if I'd tell that on Skinv Stone held set up a dinner at the Inn, or if I didn't mention it at all a Welsh rarebit would be my por- tion. So if those chronic note-takers, Mike Furness and Tommy Slidell, will change that to Skin I'll be much obligated. I see .I ess. James is getting in a few headlines for the Alumni Prfincetonicm. Fatty, dear friends, never loses an opportunity or

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32 THE N.4SSAU HERALD. early life have not been consigned to innocuous desuetude by '95. Knox Taylor is a hunter, bad and bold. He started out not long ago for anything at all, large or small. Knox describes the incident graphically: 'CI had gone but a hundred ,paces into the wood when I beheld right before me inthe path, all crouched ready to spring at my throat, its green bloodshot eyes dilating with malevolence, the largest Wildcat I had ever seen. I stopped and like a dream there flashed upon me the grief of my parents should anything happen to me. That unpaid laundry bill at Princeton. Duty alone prompted, urged me to flee. I fled and was safe at last, having distanced the now infuriated beast. The next morning Knox went out into the yard onlyto find that the infuriated beast 7' had followed him at a distance and taken up its headquarters there. But it no longer retained its power to terrify Knox, for it proved to be the family cat. Oh, Knox! And to think that you gave that wash bill as an excuse for fear! Don't you know Harvey Koehler better than that? ,Don't you know that if your funeral .notice were to appear in the paper to-morrow Harvey would send that bill home by the afternoon mail? Yes, I-Iarvey, you know you were just cut out for a three gilt balls 7' establishment. Why, when Cow Nevin came back last fall after the summer vacation Harvey walked up with outstretched hand. Hello, 'Cow,' how are you? Glad to ,see you back. Say, old man, can you pay me that 37.43 due on your last year's wash bill ? George fished as well, but we have every reason to believe that even fish stories were distasteful to him. Chubby Lewis, on the contrary, to counteract this one-sided development in the Father of his Country,'7 does not fish, but oh, how transcend- ent he is in the other. I-Ie baffles description! But, Chubby, when a man sows fish stories he don't reap mince pie. Chubby himself has been the victim of a base deception. Frank Morse and Kid Carrol were the perpetrators. They went into Chubby's room one day while he was out. Frank chewed some soap and Kid looked at himself in the glass until Chubby's step was heard at the door. Frank then proceeded to frothat the mouth while Kid, asia necessary result of looking in the glass, went into violent convulsions, and between them they had Chubby tossing imaginary snakes into the fire for three-quarters of an