Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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30 THE NFISSAU HERALD. grandfather, in contradistinction We would mention that little anarchist and revolutionist, Ahern ! 7' Flemming, who can trace his most distinctly to his great-greatgrandfather, the Devil, of Whom he speaks with great frequency and fervor. As a result. of Flem's Mephistopheliau ancestry he is most fond of Society and consequently most neat. Flem recently marked his cuffs so as to know the individuals constituting a pair. He marked them 1, ditto, 2, ditto, etc. We regret to say that Soc. Huston is as far from neatness as Chappy Biddle from I Group. When Soc. came to college in that black sweater and corduroy trousers of his, which he Wears to this day, he brought with him a box of soap containing three cakes, which Soc. has planned to last until the day of his nuptials, one during his college course, one for the Seminary, the third to be laid up against the period of courtship, but it was only another instance of manls frailty in effecting his resolutions, for it was but just last December that Soc., though it broke his heart to do so, started in on his second cake of soap. To return. Flem. as a figurehead in society is only equalled by his room-mate Bobby Inch. Bobby attended a picnic in lVashington last summer and after luncheon, games Were the prescribed order of events. One of the -girls in the party was taken aside, blindfolded, and on being led back again, kissed by the chaperone. and told to guess who kissed her. but interrupting the interrogation she broke out: Oh, thatis Bobby Inch. Anyone could pick him out of a hundred. Flem., on the other hand, took a girl to a ball Who, he affirmed, was dead stuck on him. NoW,'7 says Flem., relating his experience, HI determined that When We reached the next lamp-post Ild kiss her, but before I knew it the carriage rolled by one when I was unprepared, so I got ready for the next one, but do you believe it, when We reached it I lost my nerve 5 and hang itl every time just as We'd come to a lamp-post I'd lose my nervefl Oh, Fleml I forgot all about that offer of yours. Flem. promised that if I'd tell that on Skinv Stone held set up a dinner at the Inn, or if I didn't mention it at all a Welsh rarebit would be my por- tion. So if those chronic note-takers, Mike Furness and Tommy Slidell, will change that to Skin I'll be much obligated. I see .I ess. James is getting in a few headlines for the Alumni Prfincetonicm. Fatty, dear friends, never loses an opportunity or

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WAS.HINGTON'S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 29 title, as to spend several hours. lying on his back, before a cer- tain young ladies' Finishing School where he had some friends, kicking his heels in the snow and singing I'm a little sunfish over and over again until scared away by the dogf Now, Sport Porter is not so easily disconcerted as that! Sport was taken ill one night the summer after Freshman year in Elberon, and .had to be carried home by his friends in a fainting condition. As his supporters reached a house where Sport, when in better health, was accustomed to call, a dog ran out in a consternation producing way, but Sport reassured them. Don't be scared, fellesh, he knows my footsteps. I say, Sport, have you brought your two Sophomore friends with you to say, for the sake of your friends present, What a shame! Sport is such a nice fellow! EH? While I rest my voice I'd like to call on Mother l' Brady to relate how he and some chosen companions, whose names I will omit, owing to my feeble health, hired a cab for the sake of seeing the sights on the Bowery. I-Iow the driver's price was too exorbitant and Mother in the argument that followed lost his hat and his breath at the same time, trying, as Mother says, to catch the scoundrel. The scene changes. .It was night. I've kept a few blanks here to be filled in with some more of that Lit. rot H about the wind, snow, etc. It was the night of the 22d of February, 1873, when Henry Augustus McNulty stepped into the Arena and said 4' I have come, but don't hit me. I've got a certificate of Dick I-Iatchis granting me permission to live, grow up and grad- uate with '953' You see, kind friends, at what an early date Dick was acting in the capacity he now holds of nurse to 795. I voice the sentiment of the class, Dick, when I thank you for that loving care and tender interest you have bestowed upon our unworthy selves. I started out to speak of Washington, but it really doesn't make very much difference. George and Bishop are such perfect' parallels, in complexion, height- George was 6 feet 3 inches and weighed about 200 pounds-life and character, and now Spider says that if he could only die of an oedematous affection of the wind-pipe the days following would be for him replete with pleasure. According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica and Bill Sloane George Washington's ancestry goes back no further than his

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WASHINGTON'S BIRTIIDAY ORATION 31 r a cent, either, if he can help it. Jess. intends to commit matri- mony in the very near future and is consequently chasing his ducats now to hasten that festive occasion. Jess., Flem., Bobby Inch, Lady l' Nelson, Cow 3' Nevin and Freddyn Poole used to have weekly W'elsh rarebits with an assessment of five cents per capita, but Jess. invariably handed over but four, with one exception, when he refused to pay a cent because there was no beer in it. IVhy, in Freshman year Hank Bissell borrowed a two-cent stamp of Jess. Last month Jess. asked Hank to 4' pay upj' and for lack of a stamp accepted three cents, the extra penny to pay for the trouble of going to the post office. That's right, Jess., take care of the pennies and your children will take care of the dollars. Youlre not alone in your thrift, though. There's Lea Kennedy, who now wears a muzzle when he goes into society, by order of the town committee for the prevention of cruelty to society. Lea objects to having any one ask him for the time of day, as he has figured out that a watch spring costs two dollars and you can open a watch only three thousand one hundred and fifty-seven times before the spring wears out, consequently every time he is asked to do so it costs him about one-fifteenth of a cent, in round numbers' I sec Sammy Curtis is beginning to look a little conscious. Yes, Little Billeefl you're pretty bad. Little Billee goes down to the club every day with one cigarette, one cigar and one pipeiul of tobacco, so that if anyone should ask him for any one of the above forms of the weed he has just one. Now, Irish '7 Hamilton, if he were to have a package of cigarettes-he hasn't, he never has in fact, but for the sake of the illustration suppose he were to have a package with six cigarettes in it-heid smoke one himself and with the-other five held regale- Irish Hamilton. It was the morning after one of those rarebits of Flemls that Lady Nelson turned up as white as a sheet. VVhat7s the matter, Lady? Freddy Poole asked. I've got the 'morning gags,' '7 said Lady. The what? The morning gags,'l Lady repeated, it's an unquenchable thirst for liquor when I wake up in the morning, and it's the last stage before delirium tremensf' George's early life was consumed with hunting, Hshing, after- noon teas and reading. In this we have cause to rejoice and patwours-elves on the head in that these potent factors in George's