Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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WAS.HINGTON'S BIRTHDAY ORATION. 29 title, as to spend several hours. lying on his back, before a cer- tain young ladies' Finishing School where he had some friends, kicking his heels in the snow and singing I'm a little sunfish over and over again until scared away by the dogf Now, Sport Porter is not so easily disconcerted as that! Sport was taken ill one night the summer after Freshman year in Elberon, and .had to be carried home by his friends in a fainting condition. As his supporters reached a house where Sport, when in better health, was accustomed to call, a dog ran out in a consternation producing way, but Sport reassured them. Don't be scared, fellesh, he knows my footsteps. I say, Sport, have you brought your two Sophomore friends with you to say, for the sake of your friends present, What a shame! Sport is such a nice fellow! EH? While I rest my voice I'd like to call on Mother l' Brady to relate how he and some chosen companions, whose names I will omit, owing to my feeble health, hired a cab for the sake of seeing the sights on the Bowery. I-Iow the driver's price was too exorbitant and Mother in the argument that followed lost his hat and his breath at the same time, trying, as Mother says, to catch the scoundrel. The scene changes. .It was night. I've kept a few blanks here to be filled in with some more of that Lit. rot H about the wind, snow, etc. It was the night of the 22d of February, 1873, when Henry Augustus McNulty stepped into the Arena and said 4' I have come, but don't hit me. I've got a certificate of Dick I-Iatchis granting me permission to live, grow up and grad- uate with '953' You see, kind friends, at what an early date Dick was acting in the capacity he now holds of nurse to 795. I voice the sentiment of the class, Dick, when I thank you for that loving care and tender interest you have bestowed upon our unworthy selves. I started out to speak of Washington, but it really doesn't make very much difference. George and Bishop are such perfect' parallels, in complexion, height- George was 6 feet 3 inches and weighed about 200 pounds-life and character, and now Spider says that if he could only die of an oedematous affection of the wind-pipe the days following would be for him replete with pleasure. According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica and Bill Sloane George Washington's ancestry goes back no further than his

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28 THE NASSAU HERALD. tial in the line of her escort's bottle, with whom he had taken pains to strike up an acquaintance before the game began. Was. that kind, ,Billy ? lVas it rnanly, was it thoughtful? Over to the left along with the team sat those two tons of soil, I mean sons of toil, Beef VVheeler and Gus Holly-Gus for a wonder was perfectly quiet, doubtless because it was in foot-ball season and there were no doors to be broken in, while just beyond sat Dougal7' 'Ward thoughtfully expanding his chest by the Bi- nomial theorem to Xu, and Frank Morse, his artist's soul beam- ing in his eyes. Frank only lives for Art. So far he has elected Art. 4 for three years and on the remaining ,days of the week, when not locked up in the Tiger ofiice cribbing a few jokes from St. Nicholas, Ybutlzs' Companion and the Lit., he runs up to New York to pose as C. D. Gibson's society woman. But hark! far, far up the stretch extending in front of the grand stand come, in dulcet tones, the mysterious words '54, I am coming, phew! while a iigure in the distance could be seen approaching, sur- mounted by a halo of exquisite brilliancy which ever and anon disappeared only to reappear with added lustre. The mysteri- ous apparition drew nigher and nigher bearing in the impressi- ble an intricate mosaic winding in and out in sinuous curves, but it was not until the grand stand was reached that f'Perk. Cfor it was hej disclosed his identity by calling out: Well, here I am, large and square, Pride of Princetonj' and Son of Old Nassauf' and 4' I want a program. I want a programf' Billy Neill consciously dropped the hand he'd been holding and looked to see where Perkf' got that halo, as he had a cigarette he wanted a light, but on application of the field glass it turned out to be that Yellow Aster,'l Phil. Walker, who was following in Perks' wake with his hat off. The schoolboyls own poet, Henry Buck-the-Tiger Master, has rendered the episode immor- tal by taking it as the scene of one of his poems. I will merely quote the verse regarding the halo: . I U It dazzled the Full Back, ' U Just starting to punt, H For it shone like a headlight - U With Perkins in front. Phil donlt like the expression Yellow Aster, but much prefers the appellation- sunfish, in fact he even went so far, to clinch the

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30 THE NFISSAU HERALD. grandfather, in contradistinction We would mention that little anarchist and revolutionist, Ahern ! 7' Flemming, who can trace his most distinctly to his great-greatgrandfather, the Devil, of Whom he speaks with great frequency and fervor. As a result. of Flem's Mephistopheliau ancestry he is most fond of Society and consequently most neat. Flem recently marked his cuffs so as to know the individuals constituting a pair. He marked them 1, ditto, 2, ditto, etc. We regret to say that Soc. Huston is as far from neatness as Chappy Biddle from I Group. When Soc. came to college in that black sweater and corduroy trousers of his, which he Wears to this day, he brought with him a box of soap containing three cakes, which Soc. has planned to last until the day of his nuptials, one during his college course, one for the Seminary, the third to be laid up against the period of courtship, but it was only another instance of manls frailty in effecting his resolutions, for it was but just last December that Soc., though it broke his heart to do so, started in on his second cake of soap. To return. Flem. as a figurehead in society is only equalled by his room-mate Bobby Inch. Bobby attended a picnic in lVashington last summer and after luncheon, games Were the prescribed order of events. One of the -girls in the party was taken aside, blindfolded, and on being led back again, kissed by the chaperone. and told to guess who kissed her. but interrupting the interrogation she broke out: Oh, thatis Bobby Inch. Anyone could pick him out of a hundred. Flem., on the other hand, took a girl to a ball Who, he affirmed, was dead stuck on him. NoW,'7 says Flem., relating his experience, HI determined that When We reached the next lamp-post Ild kiss her, but before I knew it the carriage rolled by one when I was unprepared, so I got ready for the next one, but do you believe it, when We reached it I lost my nerve 5 and hang itl every time just as We'd come to a lamp-post I'd lose my nervefl Oh, Fleml I forgot all about that offer of yours. Flem. promised that if I'd tell that on Skinv Stone held set up a dinner at the Inn, or if I didn't mention it at all a Welsh rarebit would be my por- tion. So if those chronic note-takers, Mike Furness and Tommy Slidell, will change that to Skin I'll be much obligated. I see .I ess. James is getting in a few headlines for the Alumni Prfincetonicm. Fatty, dear friends, never loses an opportunity or