Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

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26 THE NASSAU HERALD. Lord Chesterfield, H Ollie Parker, Bill Nye and Bradner. He heard that Bradner alone was responsible for the bright and shining figure Curly Nelson is cutting in society. And it is but too true. Youire laughing now, Curlsf' but how grateful you were in Freshman year to learn that when you made your first call you should always be accompanied by your mother or aunt, how indispensable was the family album to the development of that deeper and more lasting affection of which you were in quest, and how at the final lesson, when Brad. entered more into detail and clasping you in his arms dictated the burning Words of love you craved, your gratitude knew no bounds!! The result of Arthur's conference was a phrase at once bright and witty. As it is not copyrighted I will give you the benefit of Dunn's experience. I havejust had my hair cut so as not to be mistaken for a foot-ball player or a musician, flike Ben Butler, for instance, who in Freshman year tried for first tenor on the 'Varsity and second bass on the Freshman Clubs, and when he failed in both said it was because he did not have a pullfl That remark of Dunnis was never-failing. At teas, dinners, receptions and concerts, where Arthur, when not on the stage, could generally be found very near it, in the aisle on both knees before a certain young ladyg at introduction, departure or during lagging conversation that speech did yeoman's service. But I must hasten on, omitting how you went to Bob '7 Rob- ertson's relations in Denver, introduced yourself, accepted an unproffered invitation to visit them, and then proceeded to have a quiet little illness, leaving at your departure your kindest thanks together with the doctor's bills. If the ushers will kindly eject that indigo shirt which is turning the ears of my audience away from mel Oh, I beg pardon, never mind. It's only Al. Corwin, who forgot to take off his blouse along with his overalls. But let us turn to our subject proper, George Washington's innate antipathy to the University of Pennsylvania analogically deduced from the aes- thetic, analytic and dialectic transcendentalism of Kant. Far transcending the comparatively narrow limits of Physiological and even Psychological Evolution, Dialectic Evolution contem- plates existence as a whole, finding the Philosophy of Being ,rin an evolution of existence, whose predetermined order is held to

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s WASHING TONUS' BIRTHDA Y ORA TION. 25 takes a fiendish delight in trying to steal the tracts distributed through Dod and Brown every Saturday afternoon, This is a rnost.s'lubr'us tcashunf' That is to say, it will be ifthe Heavenly twins, Hays and Hencken, will kindly rise and allow me to in- troduce them to the rest of the class. You see, kind friends, up to this, the second half of their Senior year, they have never had an opportunity of meeting their class-mates, and as Dick Hatch felt hurt that he couldnit take every one by the hand, I have done this for his especial benefit. For a time we feared that joy would not be unconfined, but that was when we thought we'd have to listen to Baron De Half Pint I-Iirshiield and his satellites debate and, horror of horrors! not have had our own Chris on the stand, to look refined and intellectual and regale the audience with that little Glee Club smile of his, in fact make the whole affair a success socially. Now, Chris, you're not smiling, and you promised faithfully that you would if I would not talk about the time you went to Philadelphia to visit Chappie Biddle and tried to smoke a cigar with young ladies in the room and finally had to excuse yourself to get your pipe. Come, lilrnber up, moisten the 'eye and brighten the lip, raise your chin a little, so, now, then, part those ruby lips of yours gradually until your pearly teeth show. And there you have it. A girl in Buffalo said Chris was just a perfect dear, so theref' but he's such an awful little dirt. Is Dunn, the 'f social success, with us to-day? Oh, yes, there he is., Now, Arthur, don't lose that debonair air of yours in this late stage of the game and have that batch of Vacuous Vagueness laughing at you, as he Suttonly will ! I was simply about to say, my dearly beloved, that Dunn in his more philan- thropic moods occasionally goes into Society. The way it started was that Dunn was taken on the Mandolin Club last Fall and consequently took in the Christmas trip with those other Glee 'Club satellites, J ack, the huggerf' Crawford and Kid Carroll, who has a funny solo to sing, and on his first appearance sent a girl into hysterics by the expression of his face. For days, even weeks, Dunn7s usually placid brow was strewn with creases. How to open a conversation was the subject over which he pondered, to the exclusion of lectures, written recitations, Sut- ton and Willie Belden. He consulted such authorities as

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WASHINGTONES BIRTHDAY ORATION, 27 be according to the logical relations of the forms of the under- standing or general notions nam ed Categories. Applying Skinny Seymouris patent Whig Hall method of debate adapted by him- self for the class-room, with the accuracy with which Bert Lukens discovered that by his class photos his head would be just twelve inches long while the breadth of his shoulders was but eight inches, and getting Charlie Candee to reduce it to its lowest terms, as he does every other topic of conversation he enters, translated it reads: Never imagine yourself to be otherwise than what you might appear to others. It what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what it should have been, it would appear to them to have been otherwise. And you will agree with me that surely this must be so. This is the same method by which Freddy Pool in a recent dissertation proved that the fIncome Tax was a necessary adjunct to the carpet cleaning business' For the in-come tacks never come -out till the carpet is cleaned? Now, inasmuch as conclusions reached introspectively may be tested by extreme observations, it will be fitting, at least better fitting than Bone Harvey's golf trousers, to consider VVashington's life a batch, and if in my illustrations I appear somewhat personal remember that every real thought on every real subject knocks the wind out of some- body or otherf' ' It was afternoon, in fact the afternoon of the Yale-Harvard game. To quote from that pot-pourri of would-be literary pro- ductions, The Lit., in which Joe Bunting plays such a conspicu- ous part, Joe's chief function is to insert at the head of the edi- torials 'fAll Lit. subscriptions are now payable at the office, 1 North Reunion Hall. Make out checks to Joseph S. Bunting? This last is literature of the lightest type. Observe the 'Words- worthian passion 'in that ff Make out checksf' As I remarked, it was afternoon. A keen biting wind swept the humid atmos- phere, carrying with it a suspicion of snow and swaying the leafless branches of the distant goal posts. The grand stands were a study in blue and crimson, and Billy Neill was there, too. Billy, the far-darter, holding with his right hand that of a charming maiden some forty summers old, whose name, by the way, he did not know, and while she was content. to drink to him only with her eyes, Billy sought something more substan-