Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

Page 30 text:

-28 THE NASSAU HERALD. magazines, and that his department would like to embrace as many 'exchanges as possible, but for obvious reasons they declined. It was this year that Pie had his final break with Eiffel Tower, -due to the fact that Pie insisted on entering the mile walk, thus des- troying Eiffel's sole opportunity of becoming famous. The broken- hearted Eiffel spurned Ienk from beneath his feet and then Jenk 'began to run with Schopenhauer McCaque, the pensive pessimist of Omaha, known on his native heath as Alkali George. McCaque -was the leader of that gang that hazed Sceleratus Davis in Junior jyear. Daveis, next to Freak Lockwood, the leader of Russell's Comedians, but he has a little dignity left, and this was so hurt that ever since then he has spent most of his Sundays at home. They do say that Dave is engaged, and he has certainly been buying the greatest amount of sentimental literature at the library He has ordered 4' The Lover's Lexicon, a Hand-Book for Novelists, Play- iWrights, Philosophers and Minor Poets, but Especially the Enam- -oured, and considerable fiction, includin 4' Love's Youn Dream, ' ' 3 8 and A Mad Passion 5 or, Dying to be Kissed. Speaking of Davis, does anyone know how he and Brodnax came to room together? The combination is almost as incongruous as Murray Brush and Mud Archer, although it is said that Mud has 'brought suit against Skinny Kinney for alienating Murray's affec- tions. But Davis and Brodnax-Dave so quiet and unassuming, always shrinking in the background, and Broady one of those born 'leaders of men. I had the pleasure of spending the Easter vaca- 'tion in Broady's company last year, down on a Virginia plantation, where we took a short trip together. It was just before the prelimi- nary J. O. contest, and Broady was hurling his anathemas at the 'spirit of American pensions. One night he went out in the lane to practice 5 he thought he was alone, but as it happened there was an --old colored auntie coming to her house. Suddenly we were startled by her appearance in the room, her face pale with fright and her -eyes rolling in herlhead. Oh, Miss Alice, dere's sumnn' dread- ful. I wuz comin' along de lane, when suddenly dere appeared wot I t'ot was de Angel Gabriel. He was aflingin' his arms about his head and shoutin' powerful loud 3 at first I done siis 'crazy shu nuff, den I t'ot he must be Gabriel, but den he come acloserand I done see he was jiss dat white man, Massa Brodnaxf' Al Chamberlain, can't you sit quiet? Don't think that 1' pect he was Ill

Page 29 text:

WASHINGTOINVS BIRTHDAY ORATION. 27 calling Come here, Fido, until Malcolm got him out of that house, where he will never, never call again, nor shall we investi- gate the causes of Malcolm Goodridge's constant visits to Balti- more, nor speculate as to what Lou Reichner's friends would have done if they had got him in the van, I will refrain from mention- ing how Carl Roebling was arrested in Trenton for pasting procs. on his own father's warehouse, nor will I give the man away who- hired his disreputable friends to yell under Carl's window during his birthday celebration, for that false man says that if I tell on him he'll give it to me on Presentation, and I will not hurt the feelings of Skinny McWilliams by telling how, when he entered a horse car last Thanksgiving a kind stranger arose and said that he would be one of five to give the gentleman a seat. Over all this let us draw a veil, not the veil of tears, but such a veil as any sensible girl will wear who goes out walking with that gay Lothario, Frank Carter, for, as one of Frank's acquaintances remarked to Muck Holmes, it isn't pleasant to be kissed all the time, George Washington never surrendered, he might die every now and then, but he never surrendered, but our George-Clytie George-ignominiously surrendered to Lord Cornwallis at the first call to arms. And it was just about that hour of night that the blood of George Weems Williams froze in his veins, as from the dreadful silence of the cemetery there came the awful cry, Ole, Gfeorge, you 1z'z'fz'n't keep your promise .f ' Yes, I did, said George, and no one knows to this day whether George really kept his promise or not Thackeray has an account in The Virginiansn of how George Washington once fought a duel, or was all ready to fight one, when Providence intervened and called the fight off. Providence doesn't always intervene so opportunely, or she would have made Pie Bur- rill Jenkins wear that ,94 sweater of his when he went to the Infirmary with varioloid and had to have all his clothes burned. But you can't down Pie by a little thing like that, nor keep him from visiting his four hundred fair friends, Hitting like a butterfly from Vassar tb WVellesley and then to Smith, and so on around. Pie appeared in the sanctum of the Iflfclfcsley rlfagafzizze one day last winter and announced that he was come to represent the Lfi. ,- that the Lit. wanted to cultivate friendly relations with the other college l

Page 31 text:

WASHINGTONS BIRTHDAY ORATION. 29 going to get off your great impersonation of Dives and Lazarus. I don't want this audience to melt away, but you can have this plat- form all to yourself to-night, though I warn you there'll be a counter-attraction, for if there are any alumni in town-and Al Constable was expected to-day-if there are any alumni here Lou Reichner will be busy bootlicking them until some one asks him to sing the animal song. But, Al, in the meantime suppose you stick out your chest and show our friends how nice you look. f'I'm a little quail on toast. We all know you're a little quail, Al, and you have a great big chest, and you're a real nice, cute little quail, but that's no reason why you should quail before the glance of this audience. There! I have wandered way off from where I began. We were speaking about duels-not the Dual League, of blessed mem- ory, but the duel as developed by Crazy Van Cise. Van used to be a good paying member of Whig Hall but when the silver-tongued McGaffin came back to college in Clio Hall to do battle against Whig's champion, the brass-lunged Ed Loughlin- Hello, Tom Bailey! -Van became sour-balled and dropped out. But one day last fall he thought he would go in again and look around. There was to be an initiation shortly, and he wanted to see the goat. Well, as it happened, jim Campbell was right there, so of course he didn't have to look far for the goat. He heard a noise behind him - A-a-a,''-goat-fashion--and he turned and beheld Jim. jim told him that he was no longer a member of Whig Hall and would have to get out. Oh, go away, you Harlem goat, replied Van, do you know who I am? I am Edwin Basil Courtlandt Garrison Van Cise. I am descended from Kings and jukes, the blood of the Tudors and Plantagenets courses through me veins. Hence, you goat, you kid, you snipe-hunter, you CAM. This was more than .lim could stand, though he can be Cam enough under ordinary circum- stances, and he kicked Van out. Van procured the services of Mud Archer as second, and challenged jim, and insisted on fighting it out. Tom Bailey said afterwards that if he had been here that fight would have been stopped in the beginning, but Tom was away in Washington, looking after the repeal of the Sherman act. The tight was to a finish, without gloves, and came off back of the School of Science. Both men seemed nervous and danced around for a minute without doing much, until Van drew first blood with a neat right-