Princeton University - Nassau Herald Yearbook (Princeton, NJ)

Page 25 text:

VVASHINGTONS BIRTHDAY ORATION. THE STRAINED RELATIONS OF GEORGE XVASHINGTON AND LILIUOKOLANI, VIEWVED FROM THE STANDPOINT OF CONTEMPORARY HISTORY. 1 BY M' CREADY svKi:s. H, FELLOWS, keep quiet-how can a man speak in all this racket? You won't keep quiet? Well, now, I have Pat Lindsay's crazy brother here, that being Pat's playful and affectionate title for this little pistol which I hold in my hand, and we'll see whether we are to have quiet here or not. Hands up, Chip Mackenzie, two can play at that game. George Forsyth, where do you think you are? Sit down, and don't make yourself so conspicuous. Don't cry Seize the mur- derer! that won't go here. The last time that you and Jerry Mc- Cauley were in a position like this you could call on Knox Taylor for help, but that game is up. jerry, we all know that the only reason that you tried for the 'Varsity was that you hoped by travel- ing with the team to see what the inside of a sleeping-car was like 5 now, if you don't suppress that unseemly disturbance in your im- mediate vicinity you will be given an opportunity to take a long, cold ride in a refrigerator car. Seize the murderer! cried George Forsyth, as he saw the revolver leveled at Dick Hatton's devoted head. Seize the murderer! cried jerry McCauley, diving beneath the table. Then George walked over to Dick's prostrate form, tore open his coat to see if his heart were still beat- ing, and then on a placard on his breast he read these cruel words: 'fRats3 the drinks are on you. The drinks will be on you, George Forsyth, if you don't put your hands up quick-way up high. We're going to have quiet here, or know the reason why.

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ESTABLISHED 18 I 8. BRCDQKS BRQTHERS, lothing and urnishing oods FOR MEN AND BOYS, READY MADE AND MADE TO MEASURE. MM In the Department for Clothing to order will be found, in addition to a full line of seasonable goods,-P all the year round weights in all qualities, with a wide range of price, thereby giving the fullest opportunity' for selection. The particular care exercised by us in the cut, manu- facture and novelty of pattern in our Men'S Ready Made Stock, is also extended to our Clothing fOI' Boys and Children, and guarantees exclusive- style and the best of value at no higher prices than are frequently asked for garments made in large' wholesale lots and of inferior workmanship. Our Furnishing Goods embrace a most complete assortment of articles in that line for Boys as well as Meng Underwear, Hosiery, Gloves, and Neckwear in original shapes and colorings 'imported by us from leading London manufacturers-also Lounging jack- ets, Waterproof Coats, etc. In this Department we have added a new line oi leather and wicker goods, including Luncheon Baskets, Holster Cases, Sheffield Plate Flasks, Riding Vlfhips, Crops, Dog Canes and Golf Sticks. Catalogue, Samples and Rules for Self-Measure- ment sent on application.

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24 THE NASSAU HERALD. Ladies and gentlemen, you see that this is a very difficult audi- ence to address. George Forsyth doesn't understand anything abOUf firearms-oh, there you go again. This is really unkind, oh, fel- lows, Sellishness in the struggle for existence is pardonable, but selfishness in the struggle for empty honours, is inexcus--- observe the narcotic effect. A single line from the cynical pen of Pharisee Murray will quiet even this crowd, and you can match a para- graph of his against two columns of Billy Spruance's stately .Prz'm'e- z'0nz'an editorials on the apathy of the Freshmen, and give Billy a big handicap into the bargain-though Billy would probably decline the latter, on the ground that he is already sufficiently handicapped by that insufferable Catgut McCord. Well, as we were saying-perhaps we weren't saying it, but it's true nevertheless-this is a most intense, large, line, salubrious and, as Pat would say, amost auspi'sh's ca'shn. We should begin in the dignified and proper manner that befits it, and have only been prevented by the really disgraceful behavior of the Seniors. I trust that you understand this, and will therefore pardon this informal opening 5 with your permission, I will -now endeavour to remedy this defect, and so if Sandy McGaiiin will push his halo a little further back-yes, that is about right-and if 'Bill Leggatt will put that bottle under the seat, and if Sister Linnard will remove that intelligent expression and just look natural, we will begin. -ah! MR. PRESIDENT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GENTLELAIEN OF THE FACULTY-excuse all these details, but you know it's customary to begin in this way, and we mustn't ignore these old customs, although we need not become so excited over them as that howling little anar- chist, Dick Hatton, who likes nothing so well as to gather a crowd of Sophomores under the Faculty windows, and yell - with the Faculty, and lead a cheer for the devil, its funny, Dick, but the Faculty does seem to live through it, somehow. Dick was down in Washington this winter, and thought that' he had made a great impression on a beautiful girl when one evening he held her hand in his, or both her hands in both of his for three-quarters of an hour. Dick thought that he -was a three-time winner with no one to divvy with, but when he called again the next morning she camo down stairs with both hands in a sling.